Time to Clean Out the Fridge

I was talking with a friend recently about a problem that I've been working through with a co-worker. I told him that I had initially thought that if I just ignored the inappropriate behavior... the passive/aggressive hostility might simply "go away." No such luck. This has been going on for more than a year with this guy and I don't think he's gonna change on his own. Realizing that even if I don't "hit back" or stick-up for myself, the truth is that he was still hitting me and partially shaping and defining my image to others. I saw that to allow this to continue was evidence of my own low self-esteem and ineffectual Buddhist practice.

To change my direction, I have been assuming a posture of assertiveness. Some might call this the "Middle Way." It is to refrain from being passive and aggressiveness. My friend's response was "That's great! When people are passive, it's like having rotten food in your refrigerator. Not only has the food gone bad, but then we try to preserve it and hold on to it. If we leave the rotting food in the refrigerator not only will it continue to rot, but it will begin to contaminate the other food. The same thing happens with us emotionally. What we have to do is clean out the fridge, and put that stuff in the trash." Zen practice offers the exact same opportunity. Within our Zen practice we confront ourselves not only on the cushion, but in every situation that we experience. Breath by breath we have an opportunity to empty our fridge, getting out those elements that can sicken or poison us and live better now than in the moment before.

Live Well,

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO