Restoring our health

Sogyal Rinpoche once said, “Do not be distracted by the risings.” It’s a sentence that I’ve come back to again and again, since I've heard it. In reflection the so-called “risings” that can be distracting are the steady diet of mental junk food we are subjected to on a day-to-day basis, creating intellectual, psychological (i.e. emotional) and spiritual malnutrition.

To become healthier, we can change what we are willing to accept and digest. We can change our lifestyle. Figuring our how to do that can bring some tough and sometimes odd choices. Watching the latest “Survivor” episode or downfall of “Britney Spears” can seem so entertaining. But what is it distracting us from? Does it bring us closer or further away from understanding and knowing our true self?

There was a moment for me at Dai Bosatsu Zendo that was one of those turning points that we encounter (and no I don’t even remotely think it was kensho). During some very painful zazen, I put my palms together requesting keisaku (the encouragement stick) to loosen up my painful back. While I waited and waited and waited, knowing that Seigan was directly behind me, hit me with a sentence instead of the stick. He said “The pain is not yours.”

What do you mean, the pain is not yours? My dad was a violent alcohol who beat the crap out of me all the time. I lost some very close friends at a very early age and didn't understand why it happened to them and not me. I lived through scenarios where I felt seriously betrayed, by people I thought I could trust (including myself). And you say the pain is not mine?

In that moment I realized that some people needed to be forgiven. That includes me. The pain *really* didn't belong to me. Seigan was right and helped me to see something that was not obvious to myself. And then a wall fell, inside of my being and there where no so-called “gaps.”

Tears fell, a few things clarified for me and I laid down some burdens, getting to wash off some psychological mud I was wearing. At that moment, there was zero distraction and no barrier. After the experience I realized how long I had been asleep in my life. Later when I saw Seigan he smiled and said, “it’s good that you are starting to wake up. You’ve been asleep for a long, long time.” Maybe that sleep he was referring to was the living within almost ceaseless distraction. It somehow puts us to sleep and places us on autopilot in our life.

It almost seems counterintuitive that by sitting and facing ourselves, that we could somehow wake up, while be being engaged and active in so many life activities could put us to sleep. But there it is. Sit, sit, sit and we can know, know, know the truth. Zen practice is an alarm clock. Time to wake up and restore our intellectual, emotional and spiritual health.

May You be Safe and Well,

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO