Expecting a Report?

Two weeks ago, I blogged on "The World of Expectations." i promised to share what I learned from my experiments in expecting. It turns out that it was pretty illuminating. As I described, at every encounter I asked myself, "what am I expecting?"

Once I had gotten my mind focused on this practice, I noticed is how much expecting I and others do. It's inescapable. Here are some examples:

I expect myself and others to be cooperative, helpful, kind.

I expect for myself and others to succeed rather than fail.

There's the expectation to learn, see, feel and experience not only the familiar, but that which has been unknown.

I expect progress rather than perfection, in our growth and development.

I expect that when we don't see things eye-to-eye that we work together, so that we can produce a win/win situation rather than accepting loss/win or win/lose positions.

We all expect, expect, expect, expect.  Through them we shape avenues and lanes that we travel, emotionally. It seems like it's so ubiquitous, we don't notice that we are doing it all the time.

This naturally brings us to a the second thing that I noticed. Differing expectations. What happens to us when my expectations and your expectations don't match up? I found this notion to be akin to discovering king-kong. It almost looks like it is the source of most (if not all) human conflict. That staggered me, because through that filter, i observed it happening over and over again. It is a critical skill to learn how to reconcile our expectations with others. If we cannot do that, we will be as war with people in our life, because we will feel like others are against us.

At this point I have to say, don't get me wrong. I don't think having expectations is negative or wrong. But I do find that it can be useful to manage expectations sometimes, since we can get out of "control" with them. It can be important to understand what is directing or motivating our mind, when it comes to expectations. Is it compassion and hope or fear, anger and depression. These factors influence our expectations as well. This makes having clarity of purpose and mind very important.


If I want to get a long with you, I *must* strive to be aware of the expectations that I'm laying on you and be prepared to drop some of them. Especially if I recognize any that are unrealistic.

This turned out to be an amazingly helpful practice. it's giving me a window into some my motivations and actions. It has shown me how I have the ability to configure my experience, based on expectancy. What did you discover?

Happiness through learning,

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO