Listening but not Hearing

Yesterday at lunch, I had an interesting encounter with someone who was visiting our facility. He asked, "So you really think that alcoholism and addiction are real diseases, that these people can't just make their mind up and just stop?" I told him that alcoholism and drug addiction is fundamentally a brain disease. That it's chronic, progressive and shortens the lifespan of the individual if it's not treated.

He looked at me and said, "I just think they need to make up their mind and stop." I replied, would you say that to someone who has cancer, diabetes, heart disease or HIV? Would you just tell them to make up their mind and not have their illness?

He looked at me for a moment and said, "and how do you know all of this?" I responded that, there is over 40 years of hard, scientific data and research that proves out that alcoholism and addiction are neuro-biological illnesses which are in fact highly treatable (no curable). I said, we can even show you on a brain scan the difference in function between someone who is not addiction to a chemical and someone who is. His response was, "I still think these people need to just grow up, and deal with life, like the rest of us."

I just smiled but said nothing. He then said, "you must think I'm one of those right-wing jerks." I replied, not really. But you do appear to be an anti-intellectual. You are impervious to facts. You go with what seems right in your gut and seem to want to trust your intuition. That doesn't make you bad, that just limits your options and possibilities. I then capped off the encounter with, look at it this way,, if alcoholism and addiction where not actual disease, insurance companies wouldn't pay for it. Trust me when I say that they would much prefer to keep the money in their pocket rather than spend it on some futile cause.

He ended up patting me on the shoulder, laughed and said "your a smart cookie, you definitely have your talking points down," and left. After he was gone, I laughed pretty hard.

What I took away from the encounter is that sometimes, while people may be so-called listening, they are not hearing. They are spending too much time holding on to their personal ideas and notions, they don't take anything in. That's a sad place to be.

May Your Life Go Well,

Jaye Morris, Curator
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