No Validation Required

So much of my life, since I was a child has been about gaining validation from others. It certainly motivates a lot of behaviors. Did I do something that you liked that makes me of value to you? Did you like the _____________ I got you? What did you think of the ____________ that I did?

And why? Because in the human mind, we have this grand illusion that says, "if I'm not validated by others, then I may have no value to them and then they might reject or leave me." This psychology, if we make it the hub and axis on which our life spins turns us into nothing more than a dancing bear at a circus show. I'm not sure if that's how I want to spend the rest of life. Seeking endless validation and living in others approval systems can be almost like an addiction.

If people compliment us, I say "fine." If from time to time we check in with people to make sure that they are happy or satisfied, I say "fine." If our feeling, moods, self-esteem and outlook can be sunk by others if we don't get their validation or approval, I say "NOT fine."

Personally, I can't hit a "home run," with the people I encounter every day. My responsibility is to do the very best that I can do in my life. I have to make every effort (though I'm not perfect at it) not to just so-called "Phone stuff in." I can strive to be mentally, physically and spiritually engaged as possible in any task, but then after that it's okay to leave it. I don't have to jump up and down like a little puppy seeking attention. No validation is required. And when that happens we have gained an element of freedom.

Namaste'

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO