Moment of Clarity

We all experience moments of clarity. There is an instance that our consciousness shifts gear and is no longer separate from the vast ocean of consciousness. It's like a drop of water that falls from the sky, that lands in the ocean. It has returned home. No gaps. No distance. No separation.

What I've found interesting is, it seems that moment of clarity is just that. It's only for a moment. It's like we see the truth and then for what ever reason, something inside can actually decide to pull us back and away. And when that happens, we are back in the illusion.

Since returning from Choboji, one thing that I've been actively working on is learning how to use those so-called "Moments of Clarity" as a kind of window or door and instead of pulling back, moving though it like an open door or window. The effort is to expand the moment.

Some people would and have asked, "are you trying to get enlightened, kensho or satori?" My answer is no. The real effort for me is to "cease being deluded." I figure that I have a much better shot at eliminating delusions "here and there," rather than get some sort of enlightenment, like those old Zen Masters.

When I have a moment of clarity, it's usually leaning against some false notion or belief that I've been clinging too. If I don't pull back, things have a tendency to be flipped over and they look very different to me, than the moment prior to that. By the way, this may all seem very abstract, but in point of fact it's very concrete and tangible.

A quick example is when I went out to Choboji, I my mind was filled with "I wonder how long the sits will be? I wonder if the people will be accepting of me or will they be aloof? I wonder if I will survive the vegan diet? I wonder if it's going to rain the entire time, all my friends say it rains endlessly in Seattle?" It was just a bunch of noise and images in my head.

But then in Genjo Marinello Osho's first Teisho of the Sesshin (trans. to gather the Mind) he said something that created a moment of clarity. He said, (something that I'm paraphrasing), "You came here for authentic Rinzai Zen training. Yes it was so-called you that came here, but do not waste the sacrifice that others have made for you to be here. This will make them very happy." The instant he said that, there was a sonic boom in my mind. I had only been looking at my trip to Choboji from my perspective. I had not considered the thoughts or feelings of others like my wife, my children or my friends. They had to carry my responsibilities while I was there. They made significant sacrifices to support my being at Autumn Sesshin.

It was Genjo Osho's encouraging words that opened a moment of clarity, about the sacrifices that people made not only for those seven days, but all the days that came before and now those that are after. I've been striving to expand that clarity throughout my life, as much as I can. When I do that, I feel deep, deep gratitude, humility and appreciation.

I hope that we can all use our moments of clarity, not only to our own benefit, for others too.

Gassho,

Jaye Morris, Curator
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