Living Our Better Self

It strikes me a little odd, that it can be so difficult for people to live up to our values and principles. It's obvious everywhere we look. It happens in large and small ways. When I was 16, 17 and 18 is was my mom asking me, "are you smoking pot in the house?" And I'd say, "mom, how could you possibly think such a thing about me?" Moments later she would produce a bag, that appeared to have some dubious substance in it. There had been other moments when I saw someone, who was friendly and kind to me and I would see them walking towards me and then go to the other side of the street to avoid them. Why? Because I felt unlovable. I could also tell you about the times while my father was in a drunken stupor about the times he would grab and beat me up. Nearly every time it happened, instead of saying, "I'll get my act together. I'm sorry about that, i won't do it any more" he would say, "stop crying. You need to toughen up and me a man. I never cried when my father beat me. what's wrong with you, are you a little girl?"

These experiences have taught me that be a so-called "good" person don't come naturally to us. I wish it did, but if wwe are honest with ourselves, we have all had a less than proud moments in our life.

In "The Death of The Ego-Personality," from his book "The Heavenly Life," James Allen says,"Men love their desires, for gratification seems sweet to them, but its end is pain and emptiness. They love the argumentations of the intellect, for egotism seems most desirable to them, but the fruits thereof are humiliation and sorrow. When the soul has reached the end of gratification and reaped the bitter fruits of egotism, it is ready to receive the Divine Wisdom and to enter into the Divine Life."

Later in the chapter, "The Choice is Always Yours," he goes on to say "Life is more than motion, it is music. It is more than rest, it is peace. More than work, it is duty. More than labor, it is love. More than enjoyment, it is blessedness. More than money, position, and reputation, it is knowledge, purpose, and strong and high resolve."

There is a positive vision of ourselves that we have within us. Some people have told me that they cannot see theirs, but I always tell them it *really* is there. It always is and we all have it. Based on the decisions that we make determines if we fulfill that vision. James Allen puts it like this near the end of the first chapter:

"The spiritual heart of man is the Heart of the universe, and, finding that Heart, man finds the strength to accomplish all things. He finds there also the wisdom to see things as they are. He finds there the peace that is divine. At the center of man's being is the music which orders the stars—the Eternal Harmony. He who would find blessedness, let him find himself. Let him abandon every discordant desire, every inharmonious thought, every unlovely habit and deed, and he will find that grace, beauty, and harmony which form the indestructible essence of his own being."

To be honest, I did agree with most of what he says. Where I disagree is on the point where he says"let him find himself." I don't believe we "find" ourselves. My experience is that we "decide" ourselves and who we will be. So do we live to be the person that we really want to be or do we stay deluded and develop soul-sickness? The choice has always been ours.

May Your Life Go Well,

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Create Yourself

"Life isn't about finding yourself; it's about creating yourself."

George Bernard Shaw

Positive Samadhi

One thing that I really look forward to every month is the teisho from Genjo Marinello Osho that I download from iTunes. At least once a week, I listen to one of them when I am doing Zazen. It really helps to direct my mind and encourage my Zen practice. I've come to regard this as invaluable and essential.

Over the weekend, I downloaded Genjo Roshi's latest teisho entitled "Positive Samadhi." His expression of Dharma gave me some new things to consider and use in my practice. One small example is the use of the word "Samadhi" itself. I have always be taught and heard this word to mean "complete absorption," or "one pointed, undivided, stabilized mind." Genjo Roshi however translated the word to mean "Harmony." He then goes on in a lively way to demonstrate this. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. This simple translation completely flipped my approach not only to the word "Samadhi," and his given me a new point of reference that impacts how I face my life. For me to say more would prove foolish. You will have to see what you can discover for yourself. If you do, please share it here with us.

As ever, if you want to listen, please know the following:

1. You don't need an iPod to enjoy podcast. All you really need is a computer.


2. You can download it from iTunes for free. Look in the podcast directory.


3. If you don't use iTunes, you can listen and download it for free at switchpod.com

Gassho,

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Concentrate on This Life

"Concentrate on how good it feels to be alive. No matter what. Just to see the color of the sky, just to smell the air, and feel the wind in your face..."

Judy Blume
Excerpt | Tiger Eyes

The Past is not Past

I'm a sucker for a great line. In the movie "Magnolia," one of the key characters said, "We may be done with the past, but the past may not be done with us." True, true, true, but maybe not the way that you might think.

I cannot count how many times that my past has sprung up on me, like an attacker climbing out the the bushes. It's like being chased my a stalker or serial killer. And as we turn to face our attacked AKA our "Past" (which can sometimes seem like it has a life of its own), we have to figure out how we are going to respond. "Fear and anger" or "Fortitude and courage."

Though our past can and does have a life of it's own, we can choose not to be dominated by it. I sometimes say I have a Jewish mother. She never lets go of the past. When I was 16, I stole 40 dollars from her to buy drugs. To this day, she still can bring it up almost random and out of the blue. Though I've been in recovery for over 20 years and made amends (defined as changes in behavior) she can do this because her past is not past. My general response when this happens is, "yes I do have my regrets about certain things from my past, but mom I chose not to live in them. I have to live forward, not backwards." That's when she usually says, ""you sure know how to disarm somebody." And I say, "yep, didn't know that it would be my own mother that I would have to remove the baseball bat from. It would be okay if we could let people live down their past, but I guess it's not destined to happen, if there is no *forgiveness* from others."

The other type of "Past" is a lot more slippery to deal with. It's the version Seigan told me years ago. "We are the condensed version of our entire life. Some people want to go back and figure out their past, which I think it quite funny, because that which they think it in their past is here with them now." And his is where the true, true, true in a different way comes in. A situation presents itself and how am I reacting to it? Am I reacting to it based on past experiences (as I make comparisons in my mind), or am I dealing with it as a fresh interaction that has no history.

I'm not sure if it's really possible to divorce ourselves from past experiences, but it is very possible for me to ask a singular question. Am I reacting to my past or my present? Doing this can be helpful. Ram Dass wrote a book called, "Be Here Now." Sometimes I remember that book and take its title to mean, "Live in this moment as if no other moment ever existed. Do not color this moment with reflections of the past. Let this moment be its own unique being and let it live as such." There can be some interesting outcomes from making an effort to do this. Those things we have to find out for ourselves.

If the past is not the past then that also means that the present cannot be the present. We can decide whether or not to re-experience echos of our past or embrace this present moment like a blank chalk board. What will you draw or write upon this moment?

Namaste'

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Nothing is hidden

"Truth in itself is not hidden and dark. It is always revealed and is perfectly transparent. But the blind and wayward self cannot perceive it. The light of day is not hidden except to the blind, and the Light of Truth is not hidden except to those who are blinded by self. Truth is the one Reality in the universe, the inward Harmony, the perfect justice, the eternal Love. Nothing can be added to it, nor taken from it. It does not depend upon any man, but all men depend upon it."

Jaye Allen
Excerpt | The Way of Peace

Roughed up by others

It can be a sad fact that some people are more comfortable hurt people, rather than helping them. On one hand when we are in certain peoples presence they are nice as warm apple-pie with a tall glass of milk on a cold day. On the other side of the coin, when we are outside the zone of their presence they talk bad about us and sling rocks at our integrity and character and try to run us down, in some way shape or form, in the driveway of life. Sometimes I kinda look over my shoulder and say, "what the hell is that about?"

I might suppose that what it's about is that some people live in a space which in Zen is called, "greed, anger and delusion." Their internal "global positioning system" is broken and they do not understand that their GPS need fixing. The data is confused in their mind, so they tear people down, lie, manipulate and all sorts of unpleasant behavior.

Yesterday it came up in a couple ways, but I'll share one example. I was out of the office and in another city for the day. When I got back yesterday and was catching up with some people I was told, "_________ said they where having a great day. When I asked why they said, because you weren't here. He's too nice to people and when they are having problems, he listens to all their crap and what's going on, when he should probably tell them to cut the shit, get over it and focus on work." I laughed and said, well I guess the website, eviljerk.com is still up and running. they then asked "what do you really think? It's got to hurt, cause you are the kind of guy who tries to do the "right-thing" and allow people to feel like people, rather than a number."

I replied, "I'm powerless over what people say, do and feel. That's not philosophy, that's fact. ___________ doesn't just dislike me, she finds fault with everyone. And despite her behavior, if she needs my assistance and support I continue to help, because that is what my Zen practice is to me. Learning how to actualize compassion in the difficult moments, not just the easy ones. I do use assertive confrontation and let her know that I'm aware of the statements or behavior. I do this not to make things worse or shoot back, but to simply say, "I'm not okay, your not okay and that's okay" like Shugen Sensei said.

People like this may never change, I can't always help that. But then again I might influence things, by being a "True man without rank," as Eido Roshi used to say. I get to decide if I respond in anger or compassion, no one else. Do I become a slave to anger, frustration and sadness or the master? I am aware that as a sentient being, there is a certain amount of responsibility that we have towards each other. It's not to say that we are better or worse than others, but more likely just in a different place on the map of life. The challenge in my life is myself, not you.

May All Being Be Happy and Free,

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Forgiving our Mistakes

"True justice is paying only once for each mistake. True injustice is paying more than once for each mistake.

How many times do we pay for one mistake? The answer is thousands of times. The human is the only animal on earth that pays a thousand times for the same mistake. The rest of the animals pay once for every mistake they make. But not us. We have a powerful memory. We make a mistake, we judge ourselves we find ourselves guilty, and we punish ourselves. If justice exists, then that was enough; we don’t need to do it again. But every time we remember, we judge ourselves again, we are guilty again, and we punish ourselves again, and again, and again. If we have a wife or husband he or she also reminds us of our mistake, so we can judge ourselves again, punish ourselves again and find ourselves guilty again. Is this fair?"

Don Miguel Ruiz
Excerpt | The Four Agreements

Right Action

Hugh Prather once wrote, "To live for results would be to sentence myself to continuous frustration. My only sure reward is in my actions and not from them." I can have the so-called "right" motivation when I am taking action, but the results are sometimes far from what intended or expected them to be. I might even use the word disappointing.

One example was last week, my wife and I donated some baby clothes for a family that was having some trouble. As it turned out the people We gave the clothes to liked some of the outfits so much, kept a few of them for someone else in their family, rather than the intended person.

When I found out about it, I was troubled by it. My natural impulse was to tell myself, "you won't be doing that again," and maybe even confront the person. But the truth it that what's important is for me to take care of my side of the street and do the so-called "right thing." I have absolutely zero control over what others are going to do. My responsibility is to simply to do my best in each moment. I'm not sure that I want to live my life, holding back from others, because they may do things that I don't agree with. Buddha never said, "okay you don't get the meaning of the Dharma, so screw you, I'm going somewhere else." He never gave up and simply followed "Right Action."

Namaste'

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

The World of Expectations

I've been thinking the last couple of days about "expectations." I'm making a clear and concerted effort to learn about them and how expectations impact my life in terms of relationships with myself and others.

Addressing this as an element of my practice, I wrote on the back of one of my business cards, "What am I expecting?" For the past few days, after I leave an interaction with someone, I look at the card and think about that. When I look at what I'm doing and the results, I now ask myself, "what was I expecting?" Based on my actions, did it turn out the way that I thought it would?

Try this experiment with me. Get a business card and put "What was I expecting?" on the clean side of the card. Look at it throughout your day and consider the question. I will make another posting in about two weeks and let you know what I discovered. I'm hoping that you will do the same.

Happiness,

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Martin Luther King Jr. | Remembrance

Today makes a very special memorial for someone who has passed, yet we are fortunate to recall and retain his essential essence and being. Many times I have read, "A Knock at Midnight," because it's like a Teisho. It's is profoundly clear, unambiguous, penetrating and expression of the Buddha Dharma. The fact that Martin Luther King Jr. delivered it in 1963 is of no difference. The words, spirit and expression of non-delusion is forever and timeless. Here are a few excerpts that you may find helpful to carry in your thought today.

"This midnight in man’s external collective is paralleled by midnight in his internal individual life. It is midnight within the psychological order. Everywhere paralyzing fears harrow people by day and haunt them by night. Deep clouds of anxiety and depression are suspended in our mental skies. More people are emotionally disturbed today than at any other time of human history. The psychopathic wards of our hospitals are crowded, and the most popular psychologists today are the psychoanalysts. Bestsellers in psychology are books such as Man Against Himself, The Neurotic Personality of Our Times, and Modern Man in Search of a Soul. Bestsellers in religion are such books as Peace of Mind and Peace of Soul. The popular clergyman preaches soothing sermons on "How to Be Happy" and "How to Relax." Some have been tempted to revise Jesus’ command to read, "Go ye into all the world, keep your blood pressure down, and, lo, I will make you a well-adjusted personality." All of this is indicative that it is midnight within the inner lives of men and women.

It is also midnight within the moral order. At midnight colours lose their distinctiveness and become a sullen shade of grey. Moral principles have lost their distinctiveness. For modern man, absolute right and wrong are a matter of what the majority is doing. Right and wrong are relative to likes and dislikes and the customs of a particular community. We have unconsciously applied Einstein’s theory of relativity, which properly described the physical universe, to the moral and ethical realm.

Midnight is the hour when men desperately seek to obey the eleventh commandment, "Thou shalt not get caught." According to the ethic of midnight, the cardinal sin is to be caught and the cardinal virtue is to get by. It is all right to lie, but one must lie with real finesse. It is all right to steal, if one is so dignified that, if caught, the charge becomes embezzlement, not robbery. It is permissible even to hate, if one so dresses his hating in the garments of love that hating appears to be loving. The Darwinian concept of the survival of the fittest has been substituted by a philosophy of the survival of the slickest. This mentality has brought a tragic breakdown of moral standards, and the midnight of moral degeneration deepens."

Later Rev. King goes on to say:

"Faith in the dawn arises from the faith that God is good and just. When one believes this, he knows that the contradictions of life are neither final nor ultimate. He can walk through the dark night with the radiant conviction that all things work together for good for those that love God. Even the most starless midnight may herald the dawn of some great fulfillment."

And then he finishes with:

"The dawn will come. Disappointment, sorrow, and despair are born at midnight, but morning follows. "Weeping may endure for a night," says the Psalmist, "but joy cometh in the morning." This faith adjourns the assemblies of hopelessness and brings new light into the dark chambers of pessimism."

May All Beings Be Happy and Free from Suffering,

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Transformation

I came across of photo essay by Jack Radcliffe entitled "Alison." It's very moving to see the visual transformation of his daughter, as she travels through her life. It made me think of my own daughters and got me wondering how things might turn out.

If you check it out, comment back and let me know what your impressions are. I would be interested to hear what you noticed.

Namaste'

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Unifying My Own Heart

Tracking back to yesterday, I realized that in order to "feel better," I needed to do two things. One is remember, Atta Dipa. That I need to be my own light. While others can influence me, they cannot control me. I am ultimately responsible for my own feelings. Two was that I need o get traction with my mind. While I was feel vexed, I had the sensation of sliding down a hill. When we're in a sliding it's useful to look for something to hold on to and either stop the slide or steady us, so that we can regain our internal balance. I came across something by Bhante Henepola Gunaratana wrote in "Eight Mindful Steps to happiness."

"Though we all have the seed of loving-friendliness within us, we must make the effort to cultivate it. When we are rigid, uptight, tense, anxious, full of worries and fears, our natural capacity for loving-friendliness cannot flourish. To nurture the seed of loving-friendliness, we must learn to relax. In a peaceful state of mind, such as we get from mindfulness meditation, we can forget our past differences with others and forgive their faults, weaknesses, and offenses. Then loving-friendliness naturally grows within us.

As in the case with generosity, loving-friendliness begins with a thought. Typically, our minds are full of views, opinions, beliefs, ideas. We have been conditioned by our culture, traditions, education, associations and experiences. From these mental conditions we have developed prejudices and judgements. These rigid ideas stifle our natural loving-friendliness Yet, within this tangle of confused thinking, the idea of our friendly interconnection with others does come up occasionally. We catch a glimpse of it as we might glimpse a tree during a flash of lightning. As we learn to relax and let go of negativity, we begin to recognize our biases and not let them dominate our minds. Then the thought of loving-friendliness begins to shine, showing its true strength and beauty." Bhante G.

I was enabled (through these words) to get a handhold and change my mind by deciding what I was willing to *pay* attention to. It was kind of like a baby that grabs a table so that it can steady itself and walk. And then my thinking turned into action and I by going back to my friends and talked with them about what was going on, I was reminded of a couple of things.

1. Relationships and friendships are not emotional ballet.
   
2. As Shugen Sensei from ZMM said, "I'm not okay, your not okay and that's okay.
   
3. If I live in a stay of clouded emotion, it colors everything differently and I might not make decisions the way I normally would.
   
4. As we think, so we become.
   
5. Mu.
   

Namaste'

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

The Zen of Relationships

"Things are no as they appear, nor are hey otherwise." - The Lankavatara Sutra

Having "healthy" interpersonal relationships takes a lot of work and effort. It's just one more aspect and expression of Zen (translated as unification) practice. Right now I'm having what I'll call "emotional dislocation" with some people that I've been dealing with for quiet some time. My personal policy is "give more than you take," which as it turns out is a two edged sword. In one aspect it extends the practice and expression of compassion. On the other it provides a huge opportunity for people to take advantage of you, especially if their motivation is not he same. People can sometimes tend to take more then they give, depending on their mindset. In this situation, I have these people who are only willing to listen to me if it fits their agenda and goals. But if it doesn't then I'm largely ignored and pushed to the side. It's my personal "inconvenient truth."

My general reaction is to "be patient." It's probably not useful to drag ourself or others through life kicking and screaming. I keep thinking that they will catch on or change. But the reality is that they probably won't. They've been like this for as long as I've know them and they don't appear to be of the same mind as I am, in the sense of spiritual growth and development. Secretly, my guess is that they consider it my personal weakness. This brings up an obvious question, "So what will you do now?" My response is "I don't know." This is kinda like a life koan or riddle that I struggle with.

I keep practicing and looking for gaps and opportunities where things my have an opportunity to grow and change. I'm doing this even though it hurts right now. It's like sitting zazen and you have what we call "fire in the knee." I used to sit there and hope it would go away, but hope never moved the pain. It was only ceaseless effort and practice that caused a change. Then and only then did the pain stop.

I sometimes ask myself, "should I give up on them, they are not really interested in the way of life that I am engaged in?" But then I remember something Sogyal Rinpoche said. "You feel like you cannot go any further? Never give up. You feel like your heart is breaking? Never give up. You feel like you are making no progress in your life? Never give up. You feel like you are on the first step on a ten thousand mile journey? Keep walking and never give up. People are abusing you and not listening? Never give up that they will eventually not only hear the Dhrama but internalize it and later express it. Impossible change is possible. But lasting and meaningful change starts with oneself.

What seems like hell right now can turn into grace. This lifetime is only a moment. Moments change. And I will find a way to follow Eido Roshi's words, "unify your [own] heart." This journey is a process and not an event. But I am human and just can't wait for things to get better.

Paradox, Humor and Change,

Jaye Morris, Curator
digialZENDO

Right Understanding of Right Understanding

It an interesting point that in the venerated "Eight-fold Path," Buddha stated that the first step in practicing the Way is to direct our efforts towards, "Right Understanding." It's an intriguing point, since so many people tend to emphasize zazen (usually thought of meditation), rather than Buddha's prescribed starting point of "Right Understanding. It might also be notable that one of my favorite authors, "James Allen" places "Understanding" as the "first step" for moving from "Passion to Peace." Here is an excerpt what he wrote:

"The first step towards the heights of wisdom and peace is to understand the darkness and misery of selfishness, and when that is understood, the overcoming of it—the coming out of it—will follow.

Selfishness, or passion, not only subsists in the gross forms of greed and glaringly ungoverned conditions of mind; it informs also every hidden thought which is subtly connected with the assumption and glorification of one's self. It is most deceiving and subtle when it prompts one to dwell upon the selfishness in others, to accuse them of it and to talk about it. The man who continually dwells upon the selfishness in others will not thus overcome his own selfishness. Not by accusing others do we come out of selfishness, but by purifying ourselves.

The way from passion to peace is not by hurling painful charges against others, but by overcoming one's self. By eagerly striving to subdue the selfishness of others, we remain passion-bound. By patiently overcoming our own selfishness, we ascend into freedom. Only he who has conquered himself can subdue others; and he subdues them, not by passion, but by love.

The foolish man accuses others and justifies himself; but he who is becoming wise justifies others and accuses himself. The way from passion to peace is not in the outer world of people; it is in the inner world of thoughts; it does not consist in altering the deeds of others, it consists in perfecting one's own deeds.

Frequently, the man of passion is most eager to put others right; but the man of wisdom puts himself right. If one is anxious to reform the world, let him begin by reforming himself. The reformation of self does not end with the elimination of the sensual elements only; that is its beginning. It ends only when every vain thought and selfish aim is overcome. Short of perfect purity and wisdom, there is still some form of self-slavery or folly which needs to be conquered."

These are powerful and compelling trains of thought. Right understanding put in this way suddenly makes a lot of sense as to why Buddha placed it first on the list. I liken it to a farmer who prepares a field so that what when he plants his seeds, they will grow healthy crops. Meditation built on a foundation of intense self obsession and self centeredness can be an exceedingly difficult journey. Right understanding prepares our way so that we can speed up journey. Let me know what you think.

Namaste'

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Restoring our health

Sogyal Rinpoche once said, “Do not be distracted by the risings.” It’s a sentence that I’ve come back to again and again, since I've heard it. In reflection the so-called “risings” that can be distracting are the steady diet of mental junk food we are subjected to on a day-to-day basis, creating intellectual, psychological (i.e. emotional) and spiritual malnutrition.

To become healthier, we can change what we are willing to accept and digest. We can change our lifestyle. Figuring our how to do that can bring some tough and sometimes odd choices. Watching the latest “Survivor” episode or downfall of “Britney Spears” can seem so entertaining. But what is it distracting us from? Does it bring us closer or further away from understanding and knowing our true self?

There was a moment for me at Dai Bosatsu Zendo that was one of those turning points that we encounter (and no I don’t even remotely think it was kensho). During some very painful zazen, I put my palms together requesting keisaku (the encouragement stick) to loosen up my painful back. While I waited and waited and waited, knowing that Seigan was directly behind me, hit me with a sentence instead of the stick. He said “The pain is not yours.”

What do you mean, the pain is not yours? My dad was a violent alcohol who beat the crap out of me all the time. I lost some very close friends at a very early age and didn't understand why it happened to them and not me. I lived through scenarios where I felt seriously betrayed, by people I thought I could trust (including myself). And you say the pain is not mine?

In that moment I realized that some people needed to be forgiven. That includes me. The pain *really* didn't belong to me. Seigan was right and helped me to see something that was not obvious to myself. And then a wall fell, inside of my being and there where no so-called “gaps.”

Tears fell, a few things clarified for me and I laid down some burdens, getting to wash off some psychological mud I was wearing. At that moment, there was zero distraction and no barrier. After the experience I realized how long I had been asleep in my life. Later when I saw Seigan he smiled and said, “it’s good that you are starting to wake up. You’ve been asleep for a long, long time.” Maybe that sleep he was referring to was the living within almost ceaseless distraction. It somehow puts us to sleep and places us on autopilot in our life.

It almost seems counterintuitive that by sitting and facing ourselves, that we could somehow wake up, while be being engaged and active in so many life activities could put us to sleep. But there it is. Sit, sit, sit and we can know, know, know the truth. Zen practice is an alarm clock. Time to wake up and restore our intellectual, emotional and spiritual health.

May You be Safe and Well,

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Hold the Center

The other day Deb sent me an email about a series of incidents. One incident involved a man in a dispute with his wife. He took the kids, drove to a bridge and threw the children off, killing them. At the end of the email she asked, "how do people do things like this... it's really sad."

I didn't really answer her at the time, but the answer might not be as complex as one might think. My feeling is that we simply "lose our center" and move away from our humanity and beyond that our Buddhahood. What makes that center up is mental wellness, spiritual values like hope, trust, integrity, compassion, etc...

There are a million things that can distract us away from our center. You know them well, so I don't have to innumerate or mention them by name. Despite the many things that can distract us, if we are going to be happy and awaken to our true nature, then we have to hold the center, maintaining our core being and value system. This must be a moral imperative.

Put more simply, it's being determined to do the so-called "right thing" even when we don't want to. In this way we build and shape our character, facing the internal and external challenges and reduce, reduce, reduce the potential in doing destructive things, to ourselves and others. In Buddhism we can that the "Eightfold Path."

1. Right Understanding
2. Right Intention
3. Right Speech
4. Right Action
5. Right Livelihood
6. Right Effort
7. Right Mindfulness
8. Right Concentration

I believe it was Yasutani Roshi that once said, "When hungry, eat. When tired, sleep. Above all don’t wobble. This is the goal of Zen." What was he encouraging us to do? Hold and maintain our center. For sentient beings, the Eightfold path empowers us to not only reach our so-called center, but to hold it, like sustaining a beautiful note.

Gassho,

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Events can change you

"Allow events to change you. You have to be willing to grow. Growth is different from something that happens to you. You produce it. You live it. The prerequisites for growth: the openness to experience events and the willingness to be changed by them."

Bruce Mau
Excerpt | Incomplete Manifesto for Growth

Better that we encourage each other

On my drive home last night, I was thinking about the word, "encouragement" and how it is such an integral pillar of Zen practice. After tracing it backwards through my mind, I found it odd that it is not hardly ever discussed, though it is done every day.

When I lived at DBZ, Eido Roshi, Seigan, Junpo, Banzan, Jiun, Renji, Chimon, Chuya and many others extended ceaseless encouragement. It came in many ways. Sometimes it was just sitting Zazen together. Sometimes it was Roshi's teisho. Sometimes it was chanting together while having "fire in the knee." Sometimes it was keisaku (the encouragement stick). Other times it was sitting downstairs in the lounge or at the guest house eating bread, sharing many many stories and conversations. Each of these instances was helpful in guiding my path, while I was there.

In my life today, there are encouraging moments with my wife, children, friends that I practice with, books that I read and listen too. Genjo Marinello Osho podcasts offer amazing encouragement in my daily practice. I too have countless opportunities to give and offer encouragement in ways they are not only obvious but in-obvious as well.

A good example of the in-obvious is yesterday when a co-working was putting together a document that required integrating a spreadsheet. She looked at it for a while, but "just couldn't get it," to use her words. I sat down with her and showed her how to put she could put the information together. after she finished, she said, "thanks you made that really easy for me. I learned something new and feel good about it. I usually hate computers."

As we move through our day, interacting with others, there's a simple question to be asked. "Am I encouraging or discouraging those that I encounter?" If the answer is in the negative, remember that we can start encouraging ourselves and others at any moment that we choose. We have the power of choice, every moment, every where. Jump in, the water is fine.

In Gratitude,

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

That Voice Again

The other day, Deb talked with me about a decision that she needed to make. As she asked me what I thought, showing me pros and cons to the particular decision, I noticed that there was certain things that the paper couldn't measure. I asked her, what do you feel on the inside? What is your inner voice telling you?

Experience has taught me that, what others think and say matters. But maybe what is more important is our own inner voice. It's often described as "small" and "muffled." The truth is that it's not. As a matter of fact it's usually very loud and clear, but we can sometimes avoid it by throwing a blanket over it or intentionally ignoring the message all-together, usually to our own detriment.

She looked back at me and said, "my gut is telling me to handle it this way," and went on to describe what she meant. After listening, I said, you should do that. "But are you happy with my decision," she asked. You have to be true to yourself and I trust your instincts, I responded. At the time, I was actually thinking about Yoda in Starwars telling Luke Skywalker, "the future is indeed difficult to see, even with the power of the force." In truth, I can't begin to count the number of times I've made a decision and it didn't turn out the way I thought it would. We are just seeking to do our very best in *this* single moment and no other. That's what counts.

After she left, I was struck by how Deb knew what her inner voice was telling her, but was willing to possibly overlook it if I had a different opinion. Some call that sacrifice. That is an interesting thing that human beings are willing to do for each other. Usually when we ignore our inner voice, it's usually to our own detriment.

Eido Roshi used to say, "give yourself to the Dharma and the Dharma will give itself to you." Maybe that inner voice is our connection to Dharma and to have the ability to not only listen to it but follow it as well is valuable to a healthy relationship with our truest sense of self.

Maybe Peter Gabriel captures the idea best when he wrote:

"I want to be with you
I want to be clear
But each time I try
Its the voice I hear
I hear that voice again

Im listening to the conversation
Judge and jury in my head
Its colouring everything
All we did and said
And still I head that sharp tongue talking
Talking tangled words
I can sense the danger
Just listen to the wind

Im hearing right and wrong so clearly
There must be more than this
Its only in uncertainty
That were naked and alive
I hear it through the rattle of a streetcar
Hear it through the things you said
I can get so scared
Listen to the wind

What I carry in my heart
Brings us so close or so far apart
Only love can make love

I want you close I want you near
I cant help but listen
But I dont want to hear
I hear that voice again"

Namaste'

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Breath Sweeps Mind - Book Review

I finished Jakusho Kwong, Roshi's book "Breath Sweeps Mind," in audiobook format. I downloaded it from Audible.com (I have no affiliation beyond being a subscriber, I just like their service and prices).

Though packaged as a book (spoken by Jakusho Roshi himself), the sections or chapters where broken down into 45 - 60 minute sections. This made it kind of perfect to sit in zazen with and listen to them as interconnecting teisho (Japanese expression for "place where the truth is.") rather than "just" a so-called book. His presentation itself is quite an experience.

The teisho/Dharma talks carefully build upon each other. His voice and teaching is authentic and he laughs often. There where a few moments that may even move you to tears, because of how warmly he shares experiences and stories. Despite having practiced Zen for almost 20 years, I heard some "new" things that I found refreshing and gave me renewed energy. One example is where he says, "One thought is not thinking. Two thoughts it thinking, because it is thoughts connect to other thoughts. That is thinking." I never looked at it that way and found his talking about this as immediately useful.

I recommend "Breath Sweeps Mind," to new and old Zen hands. He easily speaks on many levels at exactly the same time which is a rare gift indeed. A good example is when he is talking on various methods of sitting zazen and practices while sitting. He generously adds his own experiences and insights which serves to create a three-dimensional mosaic that is both enlivening and stirring.

"Breath Sweeps Mind," is almost seven hours in length and broken down into nice themes and topics. By description Sonoma Mountain Zen Center he covers such things as:

• Step-by-step guidance in the art of zazen, including natural unshu breathing
  
• Engaging with emotions and physical pain
  
• Why delusion is inseparable from enlightenment
  
• The true meaning of emptiness
  
• Nemitsu nokafu: the spirit behind enlightened Zen action
  
• How to cultivate the “natural composure” of samadhi
  
• Instruction in the “cosmic mudra” for upright sitting
  
• Bowing practice as “the true fruit of Zen”
  
• Subject vs. Object: how to view the world in nondual terms
  
• The root of all struggle – and how to transcend it
  
• How fear leads to truth
  
• Lessons in kinhin: “slow walking” practice
  
• The physical body and the unseen body
  
• More than seven hours of Zen teachings, stories, and poetry – plus a detailed glossary of terms
  

If you've already listened to "Breath Sweeps Mind," please feel free to add your own thoughts and comments, so that others have an opportunity to benefit from your insight and experience. If not, listen and enjoy.

Happiness,

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Living through our hardships

"Never mind hymns of thanksgiving: hold on to a step once taken. A hard night! Dried blood smokes on my face, and nothing lies behind me but that repulsive little tree!... The battle for the soul is as brutal as the battles of men; but the sight of justice is the pleasure of God alone.

Yet this is the watch by night. Let us all accept new strength, and real tenderness. And at dawn, armed with glowing patience, we will enter the cities of glory.

Why did I talk about a friendly hand! My great advantage is that I can laugh at old love affairs full of falsehood, and stamp with shame such deceitful couples, - I went through women's Hell over there; - and I will be able now to possess the truth within one body and one soul."

Authur Rimbaud
Excerpt | A Season In Hell

Will you change your mind?

"Man as mind is subject to change. He is not something "made" and finally completed, but has within him the capacity for progress. By the universal law of evolution he has become what he is, and is becoming that which he will be. His being is modified by every thought he thinks. Every experience affects his character. Every effort he makes changes his mentality. Herein is the secret of man's degradation, and also of his power and salvation if he but utilize this law of change in the right choice of thought."

James Allen
Excerpt | Light on Life's Difficulties

When you get squeezed

"When you squeeze an orange, orange juice comes out - because that's what's inside. When you are squeezed, what comes out is what is inside."

Wayne W. Dyer, PhD.

Our persons are Buddha

"Our eyes, which have the faculty of seeing; our ears, whihc have the faculty of hearing; our other senses-smell, taste, touch-are all manisfestations of the power of knowing. So our sense organs are the eyes of Buddha. Every one of us is Buddha. However, Mr. So-and-so is not Buddha, but our "persons" are Buddha."

Sokei-an, Zenji Dai Osho
Excerpt | The Zen Eye

Five Things

I've just finished a book by John Izzo titled, "The Five Things You Must Discover Before You Die." In order they are:

1. Be true to yourself

2. Leave no regrets

3. Become love

4. Live in the moment

5. Give more than you take

This book is a terrific read and I would rate it in the "top 10" of the hundreds of books that I have read. I will do a more complete review at a later time, but those "Five Things" are worth thinking about today.

Year in Review

I thought it might be an interesting exercise for me to summarize key things that I learned or was reminded of over the past year.

1. I'm grateful to my Zen practice for sustaining my life physically, spiritually or mentally.
   
2. Communication is not only based on what is said, but what is received.
   
3. As Maezumi Zenji stated, "I'm not okay, you're not okay and that is okay."
   
4. We never find ourselves. We decide the type of people that we are going to be.
   
5. "One thought is not thinking. Thought connecting to thoughts is thinking." Jakusho Kwong-roshi.
   
6. Self-esteem comes from oneself, though it's often influenced by others.
   
7. Spending time with friends and family are important.
   
8. When your in the hospital, material possessions don't come visit you, people do.
   
9. By having conversations, listening, watching and reading, I'm enabled to grow.
   
10. Everything is connected to every other thing, in a chain that is never broken.
    
11. Cemeteries are filled with people who never followed their dreams. This lifetime is real and if there is something we would like to do, we should go ahead and do it. I would rather fail than not try.
    
12. Give yourself to the Dharma and he Dharma will give itself to you.
    

Thanks for letting me share those thoughts with you. I hope they have been helpful. In this new year, if you have "Thoughts for Today" or other things that you would like to share, please let me know. We will be adding new features - so stay tuned. If you have feedback, send it, I would appreciate it. You can send it to jaye @ jayezero.com.

Be safe and happy, in this New Year! Take care.

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO