What's at the Center

I doing a training today that's part of a lecture series on using the "7 Habits of Highly Effective People," (by Stephen R. Covey) in a behavioral health treatment setting. Reflecting on my presentation as I make final preparations, I've been thinking a lot about psychological centers.

Think of a wheel with spokes coming out of the center. Visualize the center or hub of the wheel containing "fear." With fear at the center, how would it radiate out through the spokes of "Family, Work, Finances, Spirituality, Self-Esteem?" What does life become like. Will you be happy or sad? Frustrated and wanting to give up or motivated and determined. "As we think, so shall we become" is the lesson that Buddha taught.

On the other side of the coin, what would happen if you replaced that so-called "fear" at your hub with "spiritual principles?" Principles like: integrity, compassion action, respect, empathy, trust, hope, fortitude. How would living that way radiate though the spokes of "Family, Work, Finances, etc...?" How would we treat ourselves and others if that became our operational center? It's worth considering.

Instead of being like that commercial and asking "what's in your wallet," It's better to ask "What's in your center?" Don't wish me luck. Wish me "good skill." Talk with you tomorrow.

Happiness,

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Krispy Kreme

William Glasser coined the expression, "Insanity is doing the same things over and over, expecting different results." Personally and professionally, I define insanity as having a so-called "un-soundness of mind, of thinking, feeling, viewing." It's because that we sometimes have an un-soundness that we hold on and maintain what some call "failure patterns." It's inside of these failure patters that we are doomed to suffer, largely because of the fact that we don't change the type of decisions that we make.

About a week or two ago, Deb forbade me from bringing Krispy Kreme doughnuts into the house. She said something to the effect of, "If you keep bringing those donuts into the house, your ass is going to get fat again." Tough love sucks sometimes. She was saing this because I had lost 240 lbs. a few years ago and I've started to repeat a failure pattern and have over the past 6 months gained about 20 lbs. Despite hating and painfully remembering that I hated having been 450 lbs., I'd been in regression.

Her pointing out my Krispy Kreme addiction got me to look at some of my other eating habits. I could see how that one behavior impacted a lot of other things for me.

All of this has brought up an obvious truth. It's not enough to break a failure pattern. We have to maintain our growth by consistently working on our personal psychology (thoughts and feelings) that we hold towards ourselves. Otherwise, after a period of progress we start traveling in circles again. That's no fun.

So how do we make the changes that we need to make, break our failure patters and lead healthier lives? The secret is that there is no magic bullet. It's more like a jigsaw puzzle. We have to learn to do many things with competence. Not only did I stop buying the Krispy Kreme doughnuts, but our family walks together to exercise (when weather permits). It also gets us way from the TV and a weird thing happens. We start talking with each other (which is a pretty good side-effect). I've also changed portion sizes and eat smaller meals more other kinda like a diabetic. When I go to the store, i park at the end of the parking lot, so that I force myself to walk. When I eat, I put my food on a smaller plate (never a big one). It's a visual que to the mind and it helps you to feel more satisfied. I eat slowly and chew my food as opposed to inhaling it.

All of these little things add up for me and I have the opportunity to break my failure pattern. In the end, I improve my self-esteem and how I feel physically, mentally and spiritually. Zazen is a heck of a lot easier when you are physically fit.

I know that you might be thinking, "wow what is this - the diet channel?" In truth it's my example for how we can move outside our "zone of insanity." I have a friend who keeps asking me how they can "meet the right person." I told them, "maybe you can start by sitting in meditation and then not picking up people who are drunk." They responded, I don't go out with people who are drunk." I replied, "by your description they pretty much look that way emotionally." They laughed and said, "true."

May All Beings Be Happy,

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

That which you really are

"Two people have been living in you all your life. One is the ego, garrulous, demanding, hysterical, calculating; the other is the hidden spiritual being, whose still voice of wisdom you have only rarely heard or attended to... you have uncovered in yourself your own wise guide. Because he or she knows you through and through, since he or she is you, your guide can help you, with increasing clarity and humor, negotiate all the difficulties of your thoughts and emotions... The more often you listen to this wise guide, the more easily you will be able to change your negative moods yourself, see through them, and even laugh at them for the absurd dramas and ridiculous illusions that they are... The more you listen, the more guidance you will receive. If you follow the voice of your wise guide... and let the ego fall silent, you come to experience that presence of wisdom and joy and bliss that you really are."

Sogyal Rinpoche

Taking a Walk

Last evening, I went for a walk around the park. The sun was still out, there was a warm breeze. Everything seemed "right," and better still was the fact that I was with Deb and the kids. For me these are the best moments. Just taking the opportunity to "share," time, because we are all usually so busy and "doing our own thing."

As we walked around the park our oldest daughter did something which is very rare for someone her age. She talked and laughed with us. She wickedly smart but has a great sense of humor to match. Our youngest hopped and jumped over twigs, cracks in the even gaps in the sidewalk, kept asking "what's that... what's that... what's that... and was amazed with dandelions.

This was so analog, basic and yet so perfect because there was a period of experiencing, "No gaps." There was no agendas, no goal or purpose, just being. You could not even feel the time move. It was entering a stream, without complication.

Once we arrived back at the house, I felt grateful. I have to remember that these things are equally, if not more important than all the normal This Buddha-Mind Itself.

May Your Life Go Well,

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Fratricide

For those who don't know, "Fratricide" means "to kill ones own brother or sister." What is currently going on between Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama is an excellent case in point. She states that in order to prove her "love" of America and deep "compassion" for the Democratic party and just wanting to be "helpful" to Obama, she is willing to kill and destroy him for us. America doesn't need hope, I guess is that she thinks we need the "Clinton Years" back, for better and worse.

What has made it so much more dramatic is two things. One is her genuine Narcissism . She has a very *real* sense of entitlement as opposed to coming to this nomination with humility. Two that is has been so televised. Though maybe we can add a third I'm that has added to the drama is the fact that she has so many enablers around her (including the media) pushing her along in the death dance. On top of that there was something that I found really interesting after last Tuesdays, PA Primary. 2/3 of the people voting thought that she has been inappropriately negative and attacking of Obama, but they still voted for her. So basically you had a bunch of people saying, you behaved badly, but we are going to cosign that atrocious behavior. That's odd.

So now the question is, "how does all of the above apply to us on a day-to-day basis?" Good question. I'm glad that you asked. the answer is that, we get what we ask for. In terms of this election if she gets elected, how do you think things are really going to go. If you have any doubts look at her recent statements about willingness to attack Iran using overwhelming force (e.g. Nuclear Weapons), should they attack not only Israel, but other Nations she considers in her pocket. That kind of thinking scares me and shows she inclined towards a visceral response, not looking before she leaps/

On the more personal level how this applies in another way is for me to look around in my life and examine how I personally treat others. Do I commit Fratricide on my own brothers and sister (which includes you)? Am I acting in ways that diminish you or hurt you? Am I doing something that might destroy you not only physically, but mentally or spiritually as well? That's very important.

I don't know if you realize this, but the reason why I blog at least 5 days a week, is not for myself, but to reach out and connect to you, because you are my brother or sister. I figure that this moment that we are in each others Mind is worth experiencing. The thoughts and feelings that people email back or comment on get me to thinking or help to remind me that we are all mysteriously interconnected and deserving of each other.

Fratricide is an evil that cannot easily be healed or made right. Not in this lifetime anyway. It would be better that we not use this tactic on each other. Trust me when I say that I am not better off, if I kill, maim or destroy you. We need each other not to survive but to live. We cannot practice fratricide and consider ourselves either civilized or human.

In Love and Respect,

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Who Is It?

Over the past few weeks, I have been working very intently on my koan with my teacher. In the process, there have been some things within me that have either been "bubbling" or "simmering" beneath the surface. As these items simmer, it has been a little stressful. Where I have had a tendency to edit (soften) my responses and interactions with people, I've been much more direct and should I say, a little more my so-called "self." Since I'm in the process, it's a little too early to know, but we will see this turns out as a matter of process.

All of this led me to last night, where I was at a meeting. A friend was celebrating their 10-year "recovery" anniversary. As I was sitting there, listening, my mind was working the koan in a side alleyway. As I was listening to the person speak, I notion came to the surface of my mind. My Mind asked me, "who is it that you would rather be?"

Isn't that why people practice Zen, their religion, see a therapist or counselor, have a mentor or engage in some other sort of self-improvement activity? We sense or feel there is something that we are missing or not completing, perhaps not seeing or being. It's almost saying that we are not being our so-called "true" self.

So who is it that we would rather be, other than our self as we are right now, in this very moment? If we are not being our true self (implying that we are impersonating someone else), perhaps we can use our practice to simply, simply, simply drop that which was never real in the first place. The masks have to go, as a matter of expressing our authentic self.

Forever True Dharma Continue,

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

We are (already) that which we seek

"Buddhism is effortless. In Buddhism there is no place for using effort. Just be ordinary and nothing special. Eat your food, move your bowels, pass water, and when you're tired go and lie down. The ignorant will laugh at me, but the wise will understand."

Bruce Lee
Excerpt | Striking Thoughts - Wisdom for Daily Living

Going Positive

Last week, I encountered a friend who has been struggling with an issue. As a matter of fact, they've been struggling with it for a long time, perhaps in range of nine to ten years. As they talked a contradiction presented itself. They kept saying, "I really need to change, I want to change." The contradiction was not taking the actual steps to move forward into change.

I listened carefully and what I heard seemed like a lot of negatives. The person was verbally beating up on themselves, frequently devaluing who they are. I pointed that out to them and they said, "I know." I then asked, "how do you profit, by constantly chipping away at yourself? It would seem that you are removing hope for yourself as opposed to leaning into it." Their response was, "I don't know how to stop." And so we sometimes can make things more complicated than they really are. Sometimes we unknowingly associate "change" with "pain," which can generate some not so helpful outcomes for ourselves.

When it comes to making a change, there are two ways that we can look at it. One is "what we need to change from." Two is "what we can change and grow into." Though it seems like there's no difference, to our brain there really is.

To our brain, looking at it the first way is based on attempting to change out of fear. While change based on fear can and does work, it's only for a limited period of time. Why? Fear actually can kind of wear-off or the person eventually becomes desensitized to that which they fear.

The second form of change is based on "hope." There is the idea or glimpse that our life can have meaning and be fulfilling, but for that to happen, I may have to "evolve and grow." It may happen slow or fast, but if we stick to it, the growth will come, usually as the matter of a process, rather than an event. The second way represents a lifestyle and maintain a certain attitude in our mind.

One example of this is that though we may get blown off course, with so-called "Right-effort," we will reach our destination. Another example is that "the past does not equal the future." We do not have to be slaves to failure. We can move beyond our self-imposed limitations.

Namaste'

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

You are Buddha

"When you realize the nature of mind, layers of confusion peel away. You don't actually "become" a Buddha, you simply cease, slowly, to be deluded (because you already *are* Buddha). And being a buddha is not being some omnipotent spiritual superman, but becoming at last a *true* human being."

Sogyal Rinpoche
Excerpt | Tibetan Book of Living and Dying

Lessons in High-Tech Lynchings

Last night I was watching the debate between Clinton and Obama on ABC. In truth it really wasn't a debate as much as it was a "High-tech lynching," to quote a famous phrase.

It was a very interesting lesson on (in)human behavior. I recall when the Clinton’s used to talk about “The politics of personal destruction,” and how it had been used against them and how “wrong,” it is to do. So what happened was you had Hillary Clinton, George Stephanopoulos (former Clinton aide/advisor) and Charlie Gibson gang-up and attack Obama, doing that very thing. It was quite the shameful exercise. What he spent 45 minutes answering was for other peoples lives and not his own. It was ripping, tearing and clawing. Sad, sad, sad,sad, sad.

This got me to thinking about how and why human beings go to the trouble to tear each other down. Rather than look for ways to help and affirm each other, we have the capacity to set each other on fire and then walk away as if nothing ever happened.

If things are going to get better for us, we need to focus our time and energy on the issues that really matter. Here are a few that are near and dear to my heart.

I care about education, because on one side I have two children. But the truth is that if you have children or you want to improve yourself by going to school, I think we should be able to do that. I have a friend who went to Germany from China and instantly got to go to a University for FREE. I was astonished. BTW, that "No child left behind" need to be put in a grave. It's actually managing to destroy kids dreams, not lift them up.

I am concerned about healthcare, yours and mine. It amazing to me that I know not just a few but many people to have no or what I call "make pretend" health insurance. I include in this vision and dental issues as well. While I think we probably do have the finest doctors in the world, access to those services is a completely different issue. There are fellow human beings that need help that could improve their life, but won't get help because of a card.

I care about staggering gas prices. This is not only effecting peoples immediate pocketbook, but what we can do, what we can eat and spans out into how we live. The poor stay poor and the rich stay rich. Why? Because of simple issues like this.

I care about the state of our economy. Are you, your friends and family really better off than you where over the last eight years? The cost of living has far out paced actual salaries. I recall that insane Bush moment when the lady was saying I work 3-4 jobs and Bush said, "Look at this hard working woman. I think that's great." Now that's out of touch.

Iraq, Iraq, Iraq. Negative action can never produce positive results. No violence and killing should not only be a Buddhist imperative but a human one. People are not collateral damage. They are human being that we should find ways to connect with and lift up, not hold down, bury and burn. I don't think America is really about making the entire world over in our image. Our founding Fathers would be bummed out at us.

Finding ways to make improvements in these area's is just as much Zen practice as sitting on a black cushion, for in dealing with these issues we unify not only ourselves but each other. And for those in the know, this is no other than Mu.

So what are we going to do? Get distracted by the high-tech, reality show style lynchings handed to use by partisans and companies like ABC did last night, or will we chose something better? It's really on us.

Love and Respect,

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Her Stroke of Insight | Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor

My Teacher shared this video with me few weeks ago. I took the time to view it and was deeply, deeply moved. Dr. Bolte-Taylor shared not an amazing story but rather a staggering experience which will take your breath away.



May Your Life and the Life of All Being go Well,

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Projections of Mind

All day long our mind project itself on the canvas that we call our life. As we project, forecast and predict ourselves and the related experiences, so it is that we "usually" become.

Having a mind is a great responsibility, rather we like it or not. Why? Because it guides our actions, enables us to create, and gives us amazing flexibility in terms of how we communicate with each other.

Because there is so much power involved and the effects are so pervasive with our ability to mentally project ourselves, it becomes essential to learn how to manage (some say control) our own mind. The common way is simply to sit and become acquainted with oneself, by focusing the mind on counting the breath or following the breath or working on a koan (place where the truth is). In taking this sort of action we can gain the opportunity to drive the so-called "bus," instead of being driven around by the bus, perhaps to places that we really don't want to go.

Some people are fond of saying "I have to test myself," or "life is a test." Life is not a test for something that will come later. Life is here and now. Our life is tangible and real. What will we make of this opportunity? What will we project onto the canvas of your life, because that is what we will live?

Gassho (In Gratitude)

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Buddhism is everywhere and every-when

"Man is like a bicyclist: he is safe from falling only as long as he keeps on going. If we hold our will like an iron wall against all kinds of trouble; if our breathing is in harmony with the rhythm of right-mindedness, every action of ours will become part of the progressive current of the universe, and we will see Buddhism around us wherever we are. Then if anyone asks us where our Buddhism is, we can reply, Our Buddhism is everywhere."

Nyogen Senzaki, Zenji Dai Osho
Excerpt | Namu Dai Bosa - A Transmission of Zen Buddhism to America

The Debts We Make

We live in a world where it seems impossible to avoid creating debt. We do it with each other all the time. Sometimes we act in such a way that it might only cost us a penny or nickel. In our other less proud moments we run up debts with each other that seems closer to a couple hundred dollars. And then... there are those terrible debts that get created that feel as though they can never be paid off. Theses are the debts that we may feel run in the millions. Sometimes we can feel as though we are enslaved to these debts.

I have the notion that suggests that perhaps these debt are NOT so real or large as we may think. They are sometimes (many times) illusions projected both inward and outward by our mind (a very small mind indeed). These projections can cause us to assume more responsibility and debt than is really ours to carry. I often refer to this as "interest."

So how can we come to understand what our so-called "debt" is? Zazen, zazen, zazen. Sit and you will find out. Zazen is not just an "opportunity" to see our life as it so-called "truly" is, but rather experiencing our life as it "genuinely" is. No gaps, No separation. Just This.

May Your Life Go Well,

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Why This One?

A couple of weeks ago, an odd inconvenience occurred at the office where I work. A bird laid four eggs on the grassy entrance of walk-way that goes between buildings. If you tried to scoot by the bird would start chirping, fluttering it's wings and either directly chase you off or distract you from the eggs by running across your path so that perhaps you'd follow her. It's been a definite source of minor adventure, when moving between buildings.

During the time that she has been taking care of her eggs, I've not only marveled at her Buddha Nature, but some of the staffs as well. One great example is that there was a weather report that there would be some very heavy winds and rain. How did some of the staff react? They provided a shelter to cover her and the eggs, so that she would be more comfortable and protected.

Yesterday things got a little more interesting for Mrs. Bird. The eggs hatched. How did a couple of the staff react. They quadrant-ed off an area around her to give her and the hatchlings a little comfort and room (More walking inconvenience BTW-LOL).

As for my relationship with Mrs. Bird, I managed to get over the mental questions of, why she would lay her eggs on the ground, in a very exposed area, where she is totally vulnerable. The answer is actually pretty simple. "Because there was nothing else to do." After that, each time I would ask her, "Does the Bird have Buddha Nature?" and each time there was a reply of "Mu."

But then there is the issue of the staff. Why are some of them reacting in such a positive and compassionate way? Why do they act to help Mrs. Bird, when she appears so "small" and "inconsequential?" Maybe the answer comes from that Eddie Murphy movie "Holy Man," where his character placed in a similar situation answered, "because to this one it matters." Perhaps Eido Roshi would respond, "Because there is nothing else to do," and I project in my mind that Genjo Marinello Osho would say, "Just so."

May All Beings Be Happy,

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Tirade

Yesterday I had an encounter with someone who basically was off on a major tirade. The person was obviously angry, aggressive and extremely nasty towards not only me, but most people that they encountered. As this person was acting out, a couple things came to mind.

1. Their anger is not my property and doesn't belong to me. I don't have to carry it. If I choose to, it's not because of them, it would be because of me.
2. Do what I can to be helpful and possibly deescalate the situation. This might buffer this person abusing other people and just seemed like the "right" thing to do.
3. Everyone has a moment. Life is not (always) emotional ballet. There are times when things don't appear graceful but that doesn't mean that people cannot change.
4. Treat others as I would prefer to be treated.

These things came to me in an instant. Actually I didn't even have to think of them at all. It was like they just appeared from thin-air and I was able to follow them. The interesting thing that happened as I was apply these principles was that I was able to "move-on." I didn't get stuck in their mud-pit and remained effective through out my day. That was a small victory for me, because the truth is that I sometimes find it very easy to get stuck in what others are saying and doing, especially if I think that it's unfair.

To simplify all of this, I could say, "if someone is throwing a tirade, it's okay to duck."

Paradox, Humor and Change

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Happiness Belongs to You

I used to think, "I have to find out how to be happy." That was something that puzzled me for the longest time. It was mainly because no matter how hard I looked, I never "found" it.

After several years of sitting, something occurred to me one day. I saw it as clearly as my reflection in a mirror. No gaps, nothing in between. Instead of looking for happiness I needed to decide to be in this very moment. How can we do this? By learning to see what was beautiful in that given moment, where so-called "ego" was blocking the view. It is then and there that we've made the decision to be happy.

May All Beings Be Happy,

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

It's only Karma

The other day, one of my friends wrote me something very interesting. Hopefully It won't be difficult to follow. Bo said, "Karma is the package of past experience and future expectation that a person builds up. Intense emotions, fears, mistakes, embarrassment, and all the million/billion interlocking associations both sensible and non-sensical. It will draw us to some things by associations that invite us to repeat pleasurable sensations or repell us from others that have caused pain or unpleasant confusion.

The further we go, the more enormous our karma grows and add to the mix karma from past lifetimes along with this lifetime and the plot thickens. Karma can be discovered and to some extent understood by a process we call meditation. It involves calming the mind and body while awake and open to receive whatever from our deeper selves.

Every memory we have of a failure, creates a negative charge in our karma. Every time we screwed something up, part of us stores up a memory of the experience and works to avoid repetition."

That was a good jumping off point for me. The idea or realization that negative memory can influence karma is very powerful. Our thoughts and feelings have the capacity to create emotional and psychological "set-points" within us and I seen where I've attracted or manifested my set-point at a given moment.

If I want to change my life for the better, I have to deal with my programming (my past and present). I may have to change the way that I've seen some things. But in changing the way I have seen things, I can then change my emotional set points. In changing my thoughts, psychology and set points, I then influence my karma. In the end this has the capacity to change my overall life experience.

If you have a take, ideas or thoughts on this, comment back and let us know.

Namaste'

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Twenty-One

Yesterday marked a small milestone for me. I have managed to acquire twenty-one years of recovery from active addiction. What initially looked like Mount Everest on the front end, now looks like a beautiful meadow that had always been waiting for me to arrive.

It can be hard to describe the role that Twelve Step programs have played in my recovery process. It is harder still to explain the deep, deep impact of Rinzai Zen practice. Maybe the closest I will every get is to simply say, "I was introduced to my True self and I recognize that I have so much to be grateful for.

I am appreciative of my mom for letting go of me when she did. I'm grateful for my lovely wife who really is my best-friend. We agree-disagree, sometimes argue but many, many more times laugh with each other, managing to hold on to an enduring respect respect for each other. I am deeply grateful to my Sponsor and others who have simply shared their "story," and "experiences" of recovery. They are courageous people. I bow to my Zen teacher, because he skillfully and directly is teaching me "not done yet," and encourages me to "unify my heart." And I am grateful to you. You come, you read, you sometimes share your life's journey with the rest of us, even if you choose not to comment. This is very good and as Milarepa said, I am learning to "live and die without regret." What could possible be better than This.

May All Beings Be Happy,

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Wading across water

"It helps you wade across the river when the bridge is down. It accompanies you to the village on the moonless night." A very beautiful verse.

It by now you all know what "It" means - Buddha Nature. This is very slippery. Very elusive. Very difficult to pinpoint. Buddha Nature, Mu, helps you across the river when the bridge is broken. The human journey is a pilgrimage.We are all pilgrims, and on the way there are hills, mountains, fields, deserts and rivers. To be more precise, anxieties, frustrations, confusion, death, separation, illness, insecurity, broken bridges whether we like it or not. It helps us - Mu helps us, Mu realization helps us - to cross the river when the bridge is broken. Quite often the bridge is broken."

Eido Shimano Roshi
Excerpt | Points of Departure - Zen Buddhism with a Rinzai view

A Difficult Relationship

The thought has been sticking with me, that we can have a very difficult relationship with the truth. For me, getting honest with myself has been and is quite a journey. There are so many things that I've thought, felt and believe that just flat our turned out not to be the truth. Why? Because I either consciously or unconsciously lied to myself. It happens. When we begin to recognize it, there and then is an opportunity to deal with it and do a little hose cleaning.

When I was about 14 years old, I got this thought in my head that went, "Jaye, your not a lovable person." I based this on some things that I thought was going on with my family and I. Once I had that locked into my head, I used that notion to justify negative behaviors and I kinda felt like a dog chasing his tail. Eventually when I was 20 years old, I came to a realization that "It's not you that makes me lovable. It's me. And if I want to become lovable to myself then I needed to think, act and behave in a way that support that notion. Guess what happened? Instantly my life got better and as a matter of fact it's been pretty much that way ever since.

The difficult relationship with the truth had to do with owning up to the fact that I was my own "iron wall," as we say in Zen. I can be and have been my own "Gateless Gate." That means that if things are going to change, I have to exercise so-called personal responsibility a evaporate my illusion, which I chose to do through my Zen Buddhist practice. Mind you, there are many paths, but this one seems to work for me. You might choose another and that's okay.

On this path that I follow, I am constantly reminded that, Impossible change is possible I just have to live at it. As we are living through what ever principles, it's important *not to give up.* No matter what happens *never give up.* Spiritual growth is not about the event, it's more about just engaging in the process. That counts for everything.

Gassho (In Gratitude),

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Debbie Shank Wins!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks to Keith Olbermann and many others protesting Walmart and their mis-treatment of Debbie Shank, they have officially dropped their claim against her, as of this afternoon. Right on! This is the right thing for Walmart today. I myself sent them an email and also made some posts on Digg.com and thankfully many, many others did the same. I'd like to believe that we made a difference for someone who deserves the help. For everyone who participated in the process, good job.

As for my encouraging and participating in a boycott of Walmart, that is now over. Fair is fair.

Happiness,

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Relationship failure

I have a friend currently going through a divorce. I know about 15-20 people who have been through a divorce which got me to thinking and asking why and how does it happen. The day they got married, I think they really meant what they expressed through their vows. It really looked like they wanted to be together, but then something changed (or in some cases didn't).

Though there are many contributing factors towards divorce or separation, there is one that stands out among the rest. I've been able to observe that a big part of the failure stemmed from "persona." Persona derives from latin, literally meaning "mask" or "disguise." So what happens is that we have people who encounter each other, holding themselves out to be who they truly aren't. They are kind of pretending. I don't think it's always a conscious thing, but what seems to happen is that when an individual can no longer sustain the mask/disguise the relationship collapses or wilts like a flower that has had the life drained from it.

Taking into account what I've just said, what contributes to the solution? Simple. Building our authentic character. Though a simple answer it can be difficult to live our life through honest communication, compassion, hope, respect, trust, empathy, openmindedness and so-forth.

Please keep in mind, there is no such thing as the "static relationship." We are either growing together or apart. But it all depends on if we are living the disguise or living through our true character. Divorce doesn't just happen to people by accident. One or both of the parties involved actually made it happen. By the same token, it can be amazingly difficult if one person wants the relationship more than the other person. When that happens it can look a lot like "hostage" taking. That's not even remotely healthy.

Relationships are certainly not emotional ballet. They are what they are. But for there to be even a remote shot of it working out, "the masks and disguises have to go."

Namaste'


Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO