The Highs and The Lows

As we close 2008, I am reflecting on the past year. Genjo Marinello Osho's words "We will experience the highest of highs and the lowest of lows," has been reverberating within my Mind. True, true, true.

The year seems like such a blur. There have been so many moments that have had an impact on me. There where those in my family that passed away, causing me to shed many tears. There where also those close to my family that where born like Alana and Nathan, causing profound happiness. The birth of a child is a real miracle and smiles come easily. There where moments as a father and husband that I felt really down and felt moments of failure, because I thought I could have done better. But as a father and husband, I felt moments of deep, deep connection where there is not distance, no gap, no distance and no time. I wouldn't trade that experience for anything.

In my Zen practice, there where moments that I was not sure I could do more and I felt alone and cut off from The Way. TO tell you the truth, I felt a little [or a lot] lost. But then there was Genjo Osho discovering me, dusting me off, patiently guiding, patiently correcting, patiently teaching and a few new sangha friends that I met along The Way that have helped to sustain me and my practice. The view can look very good from here.

Yes, this past year has been the "Highest of highs and the lowest of lows," and I am grateful for both sides of the coin, because they where not lessons that have been lost on me. For the most part, I'd like to think that I have managed to assimilate some of my experiences.

Perhaps the most important that I can remember and do is to "continue on." No matter how good or how tough it gets, just continue forward. Why? Because I am not yet complete. None of us are and if we listen very carefully we may learn and discover new [and old] things about ourselves, if we remain diligent in our practice.

As we exit one year and enter the next, in a continuum - let's practice well. No matter, the highs or lows. I like to remember an expression that I picked up when I was at Dai Bosatsu Zendo. "Unite with endless dimension, universal life."

Gassho,

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

The Life and Death Dealing Blade

"Ukyu Gives Unfair Blows," Case number 75 from "The Blue Cliff Record" is the latest teisho from Genjo Marinello Osho. Genjo Osho starts with the introduction:

"The sacred sword is ever in hand: it is death dealing and life giving. It is there, it is here, simultaneously giving and taking. If you want to hold fast, you are free to hold fast. If you want to let go, you are free to let go. Tell me how it will be when one makes no distinction between host and guest, and is indifferent to which role one takes up?"

And if you are unsure what is meant by "the life giving and death dealing blade," it is the Mind itself. No more and no less.

Genjo Osho beautifully points out when the sword [Mind] is sharp and when it is dull. He states, "Most often probably we feel not so clear and lucid and sharp. And we hesitate about giving our love or our affection or our kindness or our care. Or we hesitate about calling bullshit when there's bullshit, and because we are afraid that we won't be clean and clear about it. So perhaps we don't say something when we really should, because one we don't want someone to be upset with us or we are no sure legitimately so that we can be clear about it, so that we might be heard. But it's not so important that we are heard, it's much more important that we are clear, but we doubt ourselves so much that often we hesitate and this hesitation is what I mean by dullness. This doubt that interferes with an underlying clarity, sharpness, lucidity that is actually always there. Now that is something that we say in Zen. And you may as I have for decades, intellectually agree with that statement. That this bright sword of your own Mind is already there. It doesn't need to be sharpened. It doesn't need to be found. It doesn't need to be attained."

This expression connects in a very deep and intimate way. Perhaps I can recognize it, because in the past I have been so intimate with the dull side of the sword as he talks about. But within my practice, I do find that from time to time that I hesitate much less. And I have the capacity to respond from a place that is beyond my ability to define, with words.

You can listen or download the full podcast for free from either SwitchPod or iTunes. Always keep in mind that you can listen to podcasts directly on your computer and don't need an iPod to enjoy them. Give it a listen, you'll find something really beautiful inside.

Gassho,

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Randy Pausch; A Final Farewell

A short video farewell to Randy Pausch, author of "The Last Lecture,". He waged a courageous fight with cancer. He passed away at age 47, this year. This video produced by the Wall Stree Journal is very authentic, direct and touching. It is a clear reminder to make everything count.



Namaste'

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

The Essence of Buddhism

Sogyal Rinpoche in this short excerpt, talks on the basic drive and practices of Buddhism to "Tame our Mind." In taming and managing our mind, we have the ability cut through our deluded sense of self.



Namaste'

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Happy Holiday

Happy Holiday. My You and those you care for embody and express the deep loving compassion that is the nature of being Christmas.

Namste'

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

The Secret of Christmas

I was talking with a friend who I hadn't spoken too for some time. I made a point of showing up on their door step, as I have noticed that they had been avoiding me. When they saw me, they said, "I heard that you where really disappointed and upset with me, so that's why I've been avoiding you." I asked the person, "did you ask me?" They replied "no." I then asked, "So you based your entire response on what someone else was saying to you and not your experience?" They said, "Wow, I guess when you put it that way, yes. I didn't think it through."

I took the time to explain to the person where I was at with a particular situation, which as it turned out had nothing to do with them. At the end of 5 minutes, it seemed that they clearly understood, the situation was not on them and they where prepared to move on and forward. The encounter ended with a handshake and a smile.

To me, that's Christmas. A moment and a time when there is no barrier. It's a moment in time where people can look beyond the immediate space and enter something that is open, vast and clear. All we have to do is put aside our divided and distorted mind. That's it. Just lay down our burden and breath. When we can do that, the Spirit of Christmas becomes the entire world and it's a beautiful feeling. As Thich Nhat Hanh says, "You cannot by that in a supermarket."

Tomorrow morning, we may open one hundred presents. We make only have two that we open. We may have none to open. But no matter what, that is not Christmas. That is only a reflection and a symptom of Christmas. The True secret of the Season is that Christmas [or Hanukkah] is You. It cannot be otherwise. And the Experience of that gift is what I received from Choboji Mountain, over the past year. I am so deeply grateful for that, I cannot be verbalized.

So as you go out and attempt to finish up today, you may feel a little down, becuase you did not acquire the so-called "perfect gift." Don't concern yourself. You could and should be very happy in knowing that you are the radiance and beauty that is This holiday season. It's a fact and cannot be otherwise.

Gassho,

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

The Bucket List

Saturday night, I stumbled across "The Bucket List," with Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman. It was a good movie which was mostly predictable, but the delivery of the message was well said and done.

As I was kicking around on Sunday, the notion of the so-called "Bucket List," really stuck with me. The thought of listing out the experiences which I'd like to have has a kind of appealing quality. I began to wonder how people would act if we each had a Bucket List and were really aiming to fulfill it.

My personal guess is that most people don't have a Bucket List, because there is no sense of urgency to our life. Most of us think that we are going to live a long time. Most of use think that our actions have no real impact or lasting consequences, much like ocean waves erasing footsteps along a beach (not considering the reality of Karma). Others that I've talked with think that if something goes really wrong in their life, there will somehow be a "magical do-over." And because of this we dawdle and can end up tardy or miss our "True life," all together.

So yes, I like the notion of a "Bucket List," as something that keeps us on point. It could be something which can encourage and inspire us to be the person that we would not only enjoy being, but respect being. How many life times do we actually think that we are going to have? One would think that we'd make this lifetime as special and significant as possible. What would be on your "Bucket List?"

Live Well,

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Thought and Character are One

"Thought and character are one, and as character can only manifest and discover itself through environment and circumstance, the outer conditions of a person's life will always be found to be harmoniously related to his inner state. This does not mean that a person's circumstances at any given time are an indication of their entire character, but that those circumstances are so intimately connected with some vital thought element within oneself that, for the time being, they are indispensable to personal development."

James Allen
Excerpt: As A Man Thinketh

Shock Doctrine

As the economy continues to go through upheaval, the Bush Administration is successful in maintaining it's pattern of incompetence by mis-managing the affairs of our Nation. In Bush's latest move, he is now attempting to use this (self-imposed) financial crisis to finish off the United Auto-Workers.

In the scheme, Bush is offering 17.5 Billion dollars to GM and Chrysler, with numerous strings. Mind you, this is a segment of our economy that actually makes something tangible. The credit uses smoke and mirrors to create debt. With zero strings, zero guidance and zero conditions the Bush Administration has given banks slightly more than 300 billion dollars and plans to give more. It seems pretty insane.

At first blush, it makes no-sense, but having recently read The Shock Doctrine: The Rise of Disaster Capitalism, by Naomi Klein it actually makes perfect sense. It clearly explains how you can go from having a budget surplus to a staggering deficit that is crushing the everyday person, while reinforcing and leaving a powerful, elite economic class.

The net result is that the middle class becomes the lower-class and the so-called "lower-class," becomes something akin to the "untouchables," in India. This is a line of action and thinking that the Buddha was diametrically opposed to, by the way. Mind you, a so-called civilized society cannot really be civilized when it's citizens (including children) are getting put out on the street and left homeless.

My hope is that we find ways to support and take care of each other in positive ways. That means taking care of the people on so-called "Main St." In a civilized society it's better to look out for each other as opposed to jettisoning each other. We have to move out of the shocked stage and return to our senses and our true humane-ness.

Namaste',

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Smile

In studying human psychology, I learned that most of our communication is not in what we say or hear, but rather visual recognition. Someone approaches us we look at their face and if we allow influence our own mood and emotions. That's important to keep tucked in our back pocket.

A Lot of times, I am either thinking or meditating on an object, which is holding my attention pretty tightly. It could be thinking about a family member, a challenge that a friend is having, computer code, a design problem, a koan or phrase. The net result of this is my mind and body are sometimes in two different places. My body is present, my Mind is not. When I'm in two different locations, I may not be mindful the way I would really want to be with people. I may not be having the kind of interaction that I'm okay with.

When I am in environments where people are, I've been striving to get out of my head, smile and be in the present moment. This process is teaching me to notice others [much more clearly]. When I'm going into the book store to grab a coffee, I may hold the door for someone, look them in the eyes and smile. When I'm paying for the coffee, I make an effort to say thank you and smile. When I am walking past people at work or sitting with my family at home, I make an effort to smile and show kindness.

In those interactions like at the book store, someone may look blank, sad or even angry but when they encounter the smile, it's like they wake up for a moment and smile back. It was like they received and then gave back an emotional nudge. It's a pleasant feeling.

In the process of learning to share a smile with people, I have found that it is difficult, if not impossible for me to feel blank, sad, lonely or angry. If your smiling, those emotions just don't work. I suppose the reason is that the thought which gets triggered in my own mind is "Happiness." It's nice to know that all I have to do to get into that lighter state is smile.

Happiness,

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Thirteen Years

Today, Debra and I have been married for thirteen years. She gave me a card with a very beautiful poem on it. It reads...

"Nobody knows our journey-
  where we've been
    or where we're going.

Nobody knows what we know
  About coming together,
    working it through,
      believing in love.

Nobody knows what we know
  about thundering storms,
    peaceful skies,
      and soothing each other's souls.

Nobody knows,
  the beautiful heights,
    of our journey.

But we do,
  We do,
    And I love every step,
      of this journey with you.

Happy Anniversary."

It is very well said. And I can more than live with that kind of radiance of being.

Namaste'

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

That We All Matter

Wayne Dyer PhD. Reads what has come to be know as the "Shaya Story." It's a clear reflection of compassion and reminder of what it means to be a human being as opposed to a human doing.



Namaste'

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

12 Mintutes With Tony Robbins

I wanted to share a short interview that Tony Robbins did with ESPN. He's very honest and direct, on many levels.



Happiness,

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Crisis and the Will to Change

The current state of the economy as been a massive lesson for a lot of people, including myself. The lesson? In real-time, all people and businesses are interdependent and interconnected.

I used to think of businesses as separate, independent entities that had the power to determine their own direction and path, based on management team choices. Not so, the truth is more complex than that simple notion or thought. Each business depends on every other business in a ceaseless web. I think this is one reason that it would be disastrous to let the auto companies fall. We think that things are bad now? Put a million people out of a job before the end of the year and you will see a total meltdown in ways that we could not have possibly imagined.

Because of the interdependence between businesses, ethics and principles really matter. This reveals the second lesson. Businesses and people must deal honestly with each other. If you apply for a home loan, you have to be honest with yourself, family and bank that you can in fact fulfill the financial obligation. The bank offering the loan, needs to stop with all the hidden fees and numeric manipulation and realize that there is room in capitalism for ethics, professional and social responsibility. It was in fact a lack of honesty which caused the collapse.

The third lesson is that we must *really* change our thinking and behavior, when it comes to business practices and how we consume. It would be really useful to understand that "Consumerism" is not Nirvana. If we obsess on too much on objects and put them before everything else, that's a problem. Why? because the object, our stuff becomes more important that the people that we have opportunities to interact with. We can become emotionally isolated and unable to recognize the connection which we have with each other.

Mind you, I'd not saying that it's not okay to have the iPod, the house, the car, etc... But what I am saying is that we purchase the one that is within our means and budget.

About 5 years ago, a bank offered my wife and I the "opportunity," to extend and "double" the amount that we qualified for to buy a house. At the same time, the housing prices just seemed insane to both of us. Though our personal financial situation was stable, we declined the so-called "opportunity," because when the interest rate changed, we didn't know what our collective financial standing would be. Most of my friends told me I was stupid. Three of those same friends has lost their home, because they went beyond what they could actually do and took a gamble that the value of their how would continue to increase.

The example is not to say I'm smart and they where dumb. The example is about having a clarity of mind and being realistic.

Now that we all recognize that we are in this financial crisis together, we have some important choices that we are going to have to make. One is to act in a way that our tendency for buy, buy, buy doesn't put us further in the hole, or find some new patterns of behavior that lead to having the ability to sustain our life and our family in a sane way. Personally, I find it more rewarding to look into your eyes and heart rather than what you or I have in our wallets.

As a final note, I been told that the Chinese character for crisis can also be translated as "opportunity for change." We can use this time to redirect ourselves and make our lives much stronger.

Namaste',

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

True Person Without Rank

A couple of years ago I was in a typical situation with an employee, where they had become unproductive and had not been getting their work done. In fact the quality of the work that they had been producing was pretty poor and their attitude was fairly negative. I setup a meeting with the person and their supervisor.

During the meeting, I pointed out the areas of concern and that I needed them to get "back on track." I also let them know if there needed other staff support, we might be able to shift some things around t make it more doable for them. The literal response from the employee was, "You're an a*@hole!" The supervisor sitting next to them was shocked and apologetic. I told the employee, that they needed to leave the facility and to return the next day at 9:00am.

When the person and their supervisor appeared at my office the next day, promptly at nine, the employee said, "I fired myself yesterday didn't I?" I pushed a piece of paper across the desk, asking them to read it. It was an employee corrective action sheet. It detailed what the overall problems where and a suggested plan of correction. The person signed it.

I looked at the person and informed them that they had not been fired, but given an opportunity. They asked, "Why not, I was really angry and inappropriate?" I replied "three reasons actually. One, they had been a good employee in the past and people stumble, albeit badly sometimes and once instance should not always negate everything that I person has done. Two was that I was aware they had been under some extreme pressure in their life and when people are under tremendous strain, their don't make decisions the same way as when they are not. And three, I recalled your kids at the Christmas party last year. When you where angry and acting out, you forgot about them. Had they been in your mind, you might not have placed yourself and them in this position."

After the meeting the persons supervisor remarked, "Man, I don't think that I could have done that. Not a challenge to my power and authority like that. You are a far better person than I am." I responded, "The point is not to be a better person. The point is to be Mindful and in this case not just to see this moment but the past and consider what the future might be. And as for power, maybe it's not what you currently think it is. I would prefer to think that an element of my role is stewardship."

Reflecting back, my feeling is that it's easy to fall into stereotypical roles, responses and attitudes. That state of being seems very much like an illusion. But Zen is not to be stereotypical and enhance our deluded sense of self and mind. Zen is to be "The True (wo)man without rank." It gives us the ability to be free and clear in our actions, birthed from out Body and Mind. It is to have he capacity to *BE* real.

Namaste'

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

The Practice of Mindfulness

This morning I thought it meaningful to share an excerpt of a talk given by Thich Nhat Hanh on, "Mindfulness."





Gassho,

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Putting Into Practice

I've been thinking about how many books on Buddhism, general spirituality, motivational, personal growth and development that I've read. I feel very happy that I've read all these book, but a question that popped up in my mind is, "how much of what you have read are you putting into practice?" Yikes! I hate that when it happens. Those needling little questions that end up being sonic booms, within the mind.

When I used to counsel, train and do lectures, I would regularly ask patients, family members, significant others, health care professional and staff, "Is knowledge power?" They would always answer , "Yes." To this I always respond, "No it's not.” They would then look at me a little blank and I would go on to say, “Knowledge is only a potential. It only means something if you find a way to skillfully apply it to everyday situations. Application and Putting into practice is power."

As human beings we can and do know some very important things. But our deluded mind and lack of concentrated focus causes us to be inconsistent and erratic. As Genjo Marinello Osho once said, "we can sit on the Zafu (meditation cushion) and the world can appear so clear. We get up and it's gone." We need to make a very strong effort to take our centered, attentive mind everywhere with us.

As we move though and within our lives today, write down one positive thing that you have learned and know. Look at it throughout the day and see if you can put it into practice. If you think that you can't or to be more honest, decided that you won't - go back to the meditiation cushion and work on building motivation, so that you can and will put what you know in to practice. That is what I am going to do today.

Namaste'

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Facing Up

About 15 years ago, when my father had died on December 28th, I was struggling very badly. I had a very conflicting relationship with my father, due to his alcoholism. I could not figure out if it was a good thing to go to Pittsburgh and attend his funeral. There was a lot of pain and sadness for me.

I spoke to a close friend who was older about my dilemma and without zero hesitation he said, "There's a time when you have to put the bullshit down." I have heard Genjo Marinello Roshi say something similar which was, "Do or Die." Translated Osho is saying merge, unite, combust, Mu. I myself think of it as "facing up," to our life, challenges and situations without avoiding. It's easy to know that truth, more difficult is it to follow.

As a son, a husband, a father, a brother, a Zen student, a designer, a technologist, a business person, etc... there are things that I would rather avoid. I'd like to swerve and run away, perhaps more times than I'd like to admit. But then if I did that, what would I be learning? What illusions would I be maintaining?

It's fortunate that in the process of facing up, it is not done alone. Everything is connected to every other thing. Eido Tai Shimano Roshi once told us during a teisho, "As much as you think that you pick your life, life chooses you too." He would also sometimes say, "Give yourself to the Dharma and the Dharma will give itself to you." It's a good reminder of the relationship that we have with life.

Genjo Osho frequently says "Be present! Be clear! Be Alert! Pay attention!" And I could only humbly say, "Show up for life, it's not a spectator sort." My body is not just present, but my Mind too. We do not simple embrace the things in life which are easy. We must learn to embrace the hard things too.

May Your Life Go Well,

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Happy Rohatsu

In Japan and many other places around the world we celebrate December 8th as Buddha's Enlightenment Day. A very big deal. An Opportunity to remember that "Every sound is the Buddha's voice, every shape is the Buddha form."

Despite sharing that expression, I thought it even better to leave it to a quote from Nyogen Senzaki's book "Eloquent Silence," which might best express or reflect the moment of Buddha's awakening.

Again, I see
The full moon, in this exiled place
The round, round moon
In the Eastern Sky.

Gassho and Deep Bow,

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Instruction on Zazen

During this time of Roatsu, it is helpful to return the the basics. Shodo Harada Roshi teaches the basic practice of Zazen and Mindfulness.

The Purpose of life

Sogyal Rinpoche discusses the purpose of our life as happiness and how we can move towards it. Very nice.





Gassho,

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Practice Well

Hakuin Ekaku Zenji stated, "The ultimate reality of Buddha-Dharma can never be actualized without the most forceful vow. That vow needs patience, perseverance and endurance. It is like the practice of archery. In the beginning you won't be able to hit the bull's-eye, but if you patiently continue to practice, your body will master the action. Breath after breath, nen after nen, concentrate your total being to penetrate Mu. If you do not give up, all the Dharma cannot but be revealed in front of you. To attain Buddhahood is as easy as picking up the dust off the floor. Do Your Best!"

Hakuin's words are very beautiful, reaching out in many ways, helping to move us forward. If we are going to come to the truth of ourselves, we are going to make a sincere effort and real commitment to practice. It is like having the dedication of a marathon runner.

In his words Hakuin mentions "The most forceful vow." What he may be referencing here is the "Great Vows For All."

However innumerable all beings are, I vow to save them all
However inexhaustible delusions are, I vow to extinguish them all
However immeasurable Dharma eachings are, I vow to master them all
However endless the Buddha's Way is, I vow to follow it.

Perhaps concentrating out true Mind in these vows, creates something of a centering point and even a point of motivation for our practice. If we use it, it helps us to gain our balance.

As for Hakuin Zenji's reference to "Mu," I can only point you to an excellent Teisho by Genjo Marinello Osho on the Choboji website. In reading it, you may offer some traction. I know in my going back to in many times, it has been a very good source of help.

I think it's very important and valuable to remember that Zen Buddhism is about practice, not theory. I don't think we will read ourselves out of delusion. We have to practice our way out. Practice Well.

Gassho,

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Thinking of Zen

Shodo Harada Roshi, talks on Zen paractice. This is the first part of a 7 Part series, but I thought given it is Rohatsu this week that you might enjoy it. There are some very important points he makes.





Gassho,

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO