Turning A Life Around

"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around."

Leo Buscaglia

The Blue Sky Mind

Yesterday, one of my friends was talking with me. They described how they've been going though some turbulence in their life, in both their work and home life and asked me what I thought.

I told them how my teacher sometimes encourages us to cultivate what he calls "Blue sky Mind." I went on to mentioned that, "I am most successful in dealing with turmoil, when I don't take ownership of other peoples crap. Their negativity belongs to them, not me. I seem to be a lot happier when I'm doing that."

"Blue sky,
Empty mirror,
Upon which all things pass,
Yet leave no trace."

In Gassho,

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Just Going Through The Motions...

Leo Rosten had once written, "The purpose of life is not to be happy - but to matter, to be productive, to be useful, to have it make some difference that you have lived at all." John Izzo, who wrote the book, "The Five Secrets You Must Discover Before You Die," said the same thing but put it another way. He asked, "How would you like to live your life? Would you like it to be that it was worthy of a 10 hour or a 1 hour funeral?"

To have a life, to be able to take a breath means so much, but at the same time, it can be so easily squandered... wasted. All we have to do is stop caring.

We really do have a limited life span, with an amazing number of possibilities. We are constantly faced with two basic choices. Do we live the mediocre life and muddle our way through or do we follow our dreams and our passion... What we sense to be our purpose? Our life can be much more than just going through the motions. Personally, I'm aiming for the 10 hour funeral.

Namaste'

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Waves of Positive Emotion

As I face people and situations today, my goal is to locate points of appreciation. This is especially true for people and situations that I'm having "friction," with. The truth is that, if there is no appreciation, there can be no caring, no compassion, no hope, no trust, no feeling of goodwill.

Locating points of appreciation can be very useful to our emotional and spiritual well-being. Buddha once said, "What we think about expands." If we find something that we don't like in a person or a situation, we focus our energy and attention on that negative emotion. As we sustain our focus, we can potentially turn a ripple into a tsunami. And therein is the danger, because we can allow ourselves to be carried away by those negative feelings.

It's simple to say, difficult to practice. But it seems as though, it's always the simple or small things which turn into our biggest life preservers. Let's strive and combine our energy today in noticing and locating things in others and situations that are worthy of our appreciation. We can generate waves of positive emotion which can and will spread to others.

Namaste'

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Feeling, Not Okay

This morning, I'm having a feeling of ,"not okay." Heading to Zazen, I looked to as a kind of relief, especially when my mind and feelings don't feel steady. Genjo Marinello Osho once said, "There's something about Zazen that helps us regain our memory. It must have something to do with rooting our spine to the ground." When I'm rooted, it gives me the opportunity to so-called "Come to my senses."

I think I'm like most people when a problem or difficulty comes up. I like to resolve it, experience what I need to experience, integrate it and continue on. But this is not always so. Some things are circular. It's like we come back to i again, and again and again, and again. This can influence a lot of emotional discomfort in me, because the natural question comes forward, "What will it take to make This problem no longer a problem?" Did I leave something undone? Did I not give my all? Am I not adequate to the task? What am I missing? As you can see and maybe have known yourself, the flood of questions we have can seem endless.

When I am in such a dilemma, there are two things that I like to remember. One is that I have been in psychologically/emotionally difficult situations before and made it through. Situations like these are the koan of everyday life. The second thing is something that Eido Tai Shimano Roshi used to say. "Give yourself to the Dharma and the Dharma will give Itself to You."

There is force that sustains me and reminds me of what is really essential and important, when I loose my memory as Genjo Osho said. It's something that says, "It's not that everything is going to be okay, but rather that "Everything is okay." It's that I just might not see it yet, because I'm caught in my feeling disconnected or sense of suffering. All that we have to do is not-give up, nurture and take care of ourselves, continuing onward. Edio Roshi would say, "Bravely march on." Dreaming the impossible dream, really is the quest.

"To dream the impossible dream
To fight the unbeatable foe
To bear with unbearable sorrow
To run where the brave dare not go

To right the unrightable wrong
To love pure and chaste from afar
To try when your arms are too weary
To reach the unreachable star

This is my quest
To follow that star
No matter how hopeless
No matter how far

To fight for the right
Without question or pause
To be willing to march into Hell
For a heavenly cause

And I know if I'll only be true
To this glorious quest
That my heart will lie peaceful and calm
When I'm laid to my rest

And the world will be better for this
That one man, scorned and covered with scars
Still strove with his last ounce of courage
To reach the unreachable star"

The truth never changes. Never has, never will.

Namaste'

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Five Secrets

I re-read "The Five Secrets You Must Learn Before You Die," yesterday by John Izzo. It's a very nice read. In a nice set of notes Sandy Carlson summarized it this way:

1. Be true to yourself by living with intention. Know your heart's desire and seek it.

2. Live with no regrets. Regrets, Izzo said, are most persons' biggest fear--not dying itself. So mend fences, make peace, and move your life into a place of peace. The best way to live without regret, Izzo says, is to take chances, pursue those dreams, and accept the failure that might be your way. Rather than be crushed by failure, learn from it.

3. Become love. Love is not an emotion but a choice, a way of being that involves seeing ourselves and others with kindness and compassion. That love creates the opportunities to follow your bliss, heal hurts in yourself and others, and to find peace despite challenges and hardships.

4. Live in the moment. Right here right. That's all.

5. Give more than you take. Izzo explores that wonderful idea of finding yourself and then losing yourself. Once you identify your heart's desire and live your life pursuing it, the chance of accumulating any regrets is reduced. Once you become love, kindness itself becomes part of your purpose, and each moment offers all the joy of a lifetime. This creates an abundance of resources in the forms of love, trust, hope, joy, kindness, compassion. Draw from this deep well and give it away. Leave the campsite better than you found it, as one wise elder put it.

Give it some time and some thought. It makes a lot of sense. Be the person that you are and not a ghost or a shadow of that person.

Namaste'

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Decline or Incline?

It is truer than true that no mountain can be summated, without physical effort and exertion. Whether it is walking or riding a bike up the incline, it will take some energy, some determination and perhaps even moments of sacrifice. To get to the peak, you are definitely going to have give something of your so-called “true” self to the task.

On the other hand, to decline and descend downward seems a much easier task. All we have to do is stop resisting the impulse of gravity and let go. We just give in and stop pushing back. And once that happens, it can seem almost impossible to stop the downward spiral. Whether we realize it or not, there is a deep cost in doing that, though the price is not always readily apparent.

In journeying the incline towards the peaks summit, there is something of a twist that we may find helpful. It is the compassion, kindness, tenacity, resourcefulness and support of others that can and often does motivate us towards a better place, even when we may not be sure that we can make it.

A great example and deeply ingrained memory for me was from last October when I was at Autumn Sesshin. I have an old knee injury and sometimes when I sit, I can get tremendous pain or what is called “fire in the knee.” It can make Zazen quite grueling, if I give in to it. As I was going through it, I was feeling bad. I was even a little (or a lot) ashamed of it, as I took it as a sign of my own weakness. There was even some anger there too, as a result. But during a break in the sitting, Zenka Sally Metcalf mentioned a story to me about Eido Tai Shimano Roshi, when he had sustained a leg injury and how he still managed to cut through, despite what may have looked like a limitation.

Those words became a hand-hold or my upward climb and perhaps prevented me from falling into self-pity which can definitely be a kind of personal torture or hell. I pushed back and exerted myself. And when Autumn Sesshin ended, every single person there crossed the finish line together. That is important. We practice and are enabled to practice, because of the interconnection of all sentient beings.

So there is a choice for us. Do we decline or incline? There is no so-called “pause-button” or “middle ground.” That is simply an illusion or a trick within our mind, that lulls us into a false sense of safety and security. It’s that voice that says “this doesn’t really count, this really doesn’t matter.” Looking back, everything matters… even a grain of sand. Personally, I intend to push onward with my friends. How about you?

Namaste’
Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

A Moment of Housekeeping

Couple thoughts and feelings that I wanted to share today.

1. The Winter 2008-2009 Plum Mountain Newsletter is available for reading or downloading online. I mention this, because the Plum Mountain Newsletters serve as a kind of "touchstone," to practice. It's very beautiful and will prove useful to you on your journey. Think of it as very good food for your Mind.

2. Recently I came across a complete English translation of the Shobogenzo, by Dogen Kigen Zenji. This is an incredibly significant work. It is definitely thought of as one of the most significant texts in Buddhism. What is even nicer is the more than 1,100 page translation is available for free download in PDF format. Do yourself another favor and download this too.

3. The other day someone said they found it odd that people obviously come to digitalZENDO a lot, but never comment. I didn't really have a response at the time (and technically I still don't). I would say that if you have thoughts, comments, suggestions, to please post them. It may prove helpful to myself and others. To tell you the truth, I'm learning everyday and that comes mostly from other people. Please note that when you click the comments like, you are NOT required to have a username/password. Look down a little further and click the "anonymous" button and you're good.

We all can't wait to hear from you. I'll talk with you tomorrow.

Namaste',


Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Come Home Soon

"To study the Way is to study the self.
To study the self is to forget the self.
To forget the self is to be enlightened by all things.
To be enlightened by all things is to remove the barriers
between one's self and others." ~Dōgen Kigen Zenji

Those words from the Genjo Koan (Trans. Place where the Truth is in Everyday Life), is what sparked me to take up Zen. As a matter of fact, prior to reading these words, I had no idea that such a thing existed. I was just a kid working on a paper in "Blackwell Library," who "accidentally" picked up this book, while I was reaching for something else. It's almost like It sought me out.

The practice that I have taken up to study the self, discerning fact from fiction has been a process of laying some things down. Things that have not really been mine to carry. Things that have limited or removed my ability to See, Feel, Hear and Be.

Prior to going to Dai Bosatsu Zendo, Kongo Ji, Junpo Denis Kelly Osho said to me, prior to the end of a conversation, "Come Home soon." I took that to mean, "Your invited to come here and train in Zen with us." This was true, but false. What Junpo Osho actually meant was, "I see that You somehow have become lost along the Way. I hope that you find it within yourself to come Home soon (as quickly as possible)."

It seems true that, "that which is most near is also the most difficult (place) to reach." But despite the trails and trivial we can make it back. We can make it Home. Let's make a promise to ourselves to do so and keep it. After all, what are we planning on doing with our (precious) life?

Gassho,

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Continuing Exhaustion

Within myself, I have a theme or two which seem to keep repeating themselves, as though I was traveling in a circle. At times I get frustrated with myself, because I sometimes think to myself, "You're not done with this issue or topic yet? But you've been dealing with it since _____. Why aren't you through with this yet?" Other times I have environmental triggers, sometimes called anchors, that are able to powerfully pull me back to a specific moment it time, because I have not fully burned through or processed the event.

Despite some of these recurrent themes, perhaps the most important thing is not giving up. Process and digest, digest, digest. It's not (always) graceful or emotional ballet, but it still a kind of progress. Why? In observing myself and others, I have noticed that on some issues that were recurrent themes, sometimes a person digested them enough, that all of the sudden, there was a kind of quantum leap that occurred (e.g spiritual awakening or insight) and they really moved beyond the limitation of that circular theme.

Before I entered recovery from active addiction to drugs, I had actually gone to ten other treatment centers. In fact by the time I was twenty-one years old, no one in my family thought I could actually do it, yet here I am heading towards twenty-two years clean, as of today. But even better than not using drugs any longer, I've had many opportunities for emotional and spiritual growth as well. It was a real hyper-jump for me. In fact, today when I see some people who knew me back then, they still think of me as one type of person, yet that person is no longer there. A major change had taken place. Perhaps the same looking body, but not the same contents or mind.

So how did it happen, if all the other previous attempts so-called "failed?" Was something special done the last time as opposed to the first time? Not really. People on a regular basis where telling me that it would be a good thing for me to stop using and pointing out where my life was unmanageable.

The big factor was "continuing exhaustion." Bit, by bit, I had to prepare, prepare, prepare myself for the so-called "final leap." That preparation was rehab ten times, repeated self-confrontation, repeated disappointment, just not giving up on myself. Then with the "readiness of time," here we are twenty-two years later. Married, kids, training in Zen on a daily basis, working and generally a pretty happy person.

Genjo Mariello Osho constantly reminds me, "exhaust, exhaust, exhaust." Put another way, no matter what happens, don't quit on ourselves, hang in there, persist. When you come upon one of your negative repeating themes... exhaust it a little more, each time you encounter it. This is the nature of practicing Zen and what it takes to unify our heart.

Gassho,

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

I'm Not Waiting

Every Monday, I know some people who say "can't wait til it's Friday again." I also know some people who almost every time I see them say, "_____ days til my vacation." It's almost like they are postponing happiness, and I have to say that it happens with such consistency that I chuckle when I hear them say it.

Personally, I don't wait for 5:01pm on Friday to be (fully) happy or to play. I make time everyday. I have the say that I like the fact that Milarepa once said, "I want to live and die, without regret." When I remember those words, it reminds me that the best part of my life is simply having the opportunity to be here. It's for that reason that I'm not going to wait to be happy.

Happiness,

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Getting Un-Stuffed

Since being back from Autumn Sesshin at Choboji there has been an interesting result. I've stopped grinding my teeth in my sleep. This might sound odd to you, but it says something about how I've been dealing with some of my stress and feelings.

Though I'd hate to admit it, I'm a stuffer. I have a tendency to stuff not only my feelings but my stress as well. I'd let it build and build like the magma chamber of a volcano. I supposed the only place that I couldn't hide it from myself was when I was sleeping, hence the grinding and regularly waking up with a stiff or sore jaw. Mind you I know that I still stuff some feeling, but I'm focused on the progress I'm making, not the perfectionism of it.

So the question is what have I done to improve.

Increase my Zen training (sitting twice daily) and having a meaningful relationship with a teacher.

Taking things less personally. I've been mindfully not accepting those special delivery "emotion bombs," from others. They don't belong to me, so I don't accept them. Going a little farther, I'm no longer expecting sanity from people who are actively insane (not of sound mind). There's no point.

Writing emails and letters to "real," friends who are on the journey as well. They often share back interesting experiences and remind me that I'm not a lone on this journey.

Increasing positive intake. I'm reading consistently. If you don't have time to get to the bookstore, do what I do. Use Online PDF's (like Choboji's Newsletters section) and podcasts on a daily basis. Remember, they are free. This is really good if money is an issue. If money is not a problem, get an audible.com memebership. They have a ton of books on spirituality and This helps to offset some of the negative things that happen, becuase I'm hearing positive info, not just getting stuck in my head in the potential quicksand of negative emotion.

To deal with work related stress, I read "Getting Things Done," by David Allen. Surprise, his book was a terrific help.

Things, by Culture Code. That is the task manager I use to not only keep me organized. Now I have time to think, instead of always worrying did I forget or when I needed to do something. I tried about 7 different ones til I located the one that works for me.

I focus on being authentic.

If you noticed, there is not any one thing that I've done. There's no silver bullet. It kind of a jigsaw puzzle. I can only say that what I have shared with you, I value, because I can clearly see how each element has helped me to improve and feel better about myself and not live in "frustration nation." Getting Un-stuffed will allow you and I to be more our so-called "True-self."

May Your Life Go Well,

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Our Eternal Vow

Yesterday Bob Allison sent me an email, regarding the passing of his teacher, Venerable Master Sheng Yen. I went to the website and read his obituary. The opening words moved me to tears. "The universe may one day perish, yet my vows are eternal." Perfect clarity. Perfectly honest. Perfect Dharma.

In considering Master Sheng Yen's words, it is a reminder that the vows and promises that we make in this lifetime are important and dare I say sacred. And our Buddhist vows not only belong to the individual, but in fact to all of us together.

From my current view, Zen practice is not an option. Zen practice is neither to be avoided or evaded. It's a mental, physical and spiritual imperative. Our eternal vow is the fuel that motivates and propels us forward. It lifts us to sit through the fire in the knee, the wandering thoughts, through the fear and pain that comes from confronting oneself and cut though our obstructions and illusions which we once thought were facts.

There is a reason that we come to spiritual practice, no matter which path we are on. It's not because of what is right with us. Rather it's the sense there is something we may have overlooked or missed, that leads us to sense that something is not "right."

In our journey to "become a True Person," it's important that we practice with others, with a teacher and an authentic one at that. Why? Becuase we are so good at fooling ourselves. Our teacher is our teacher. Mine helps me, by removing the debris and clutter from my mind to glimpse the meaning and depth of "Our eternal Vow." Is there anything better or more worthy than This, to dedicate our lives to? I would think not.

An so in conclusion, I am grateful to all the teachers that are available to us, directly and indirectly. This certainly includes Venerable Master Sheng Yen, whose word and books I have read and made an effort to adsorb many times. As well I must say my direct teacher, Genjo Marinello Osho, who reminds me that there is "The One who is Shining alone." Live your Eternal Vow!

Gassho,

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

In Memorium | Venerable Master Sheng Yen

I received word this morning from Bob Allison, that his teacher Master Sheng Yen has released his body. You can view the memorial page here at the Dharma Drum website.

I find the words which head the page, "The universe may one day perish, yet my vows are eternal," incredibly moving. May we all reflect This Dharma.

Head to Floor... Bowing Nine Times,

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

The Stability of Our Heart Mind

Sogyal Rinpoche offers a teaching on what he calls, "Taming the Mind." With so-called taming the Mind also comes a stability within our heart, which fills this entire moment.



Namaste'

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Is It Real or Memorex?

Consciously or unconsciously there is a choice that is always being made. It's the one that says "Will I be authentic or will I pretend and just get though the moment?" It's impressive (sometimes scary) how many times a day that I have to make the choice, during the day.

There are times when someone asks me for my so-called "professional opinion," but the truth is they don't want my opinion, they want to confirm theirs. If I have the feeling that the person is "sincere," then I will give my honest thoughts, but otherwise I don't. I actively choose to be "Memorex." Why? Because they want to argue and debate with me and didn't really want my ideas in the first place. It's a waste of my time, energy and resources.

In other moments when I'm talking with my someone close to me like my wife, kids, mother, brother or friends, I base my decision in terms of being "Real or Memorex," on "how much conflict am I willing to endure with you and is it really worth it to say anything." I don't know about you but it can be very difficult to figure out which position to take.

Through my Zen training, this is something that is continuing to unfold for me. Daily, I have the opportunity to sit on the black cushion and say "what was that" or "why?" And as I sit and "bake," I come to a better understanding of myself.

Gassho,

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Turning off the Autopilot

I've been struggling with "Mindfulness," lately. It has a way of showing up in my day-to-day life, in some odd ways. The last few times that I've gone to the grocery store, I've inadvertently knocked something over and caused a spill. The first time it happened I mentally said, "accident." After the fourth time what do you say?

When I'm not Mindful, I instantly feel embarrassed, like a kid with his hand caught in a cookie jar. Why? Because I know better that to move though my life, inattentive and not fully present. In certain moments when I thought it was okay to let my so-called "guard-down," it really wasn't okay to do so. The result was a series of spills over the past few weeks. What a metaphor, for our larger life.

Knocking over a bottle of vitamin water, laundry soap or yogurt may seem small to you, but it has (real) consequences. It can cause inconvenience and harm, not only to myself but others too. On a different scale, if I am engaged in "mindless consumption," that causes a lot of harm to me. If we drive, eat, walk, talk, make breakfast or dinner without thinking or being attentive I "miss," being inside the moment. If I miss, where am I really?

These "incidents" have been a strong reminder for me to turn-off the "autopilot." As Genjo Marinello Osho often says, "Concentrate! Be present! Be aware! Be alert! Wake-up, wake-up, wake-up." So today, my task and practice is clear. Turn off the auto-pilot and "Be Mindful."

Gassho,

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Stationary

During Autumn Sesshin last October, my "room-mate, Bruce Albrecht said something which helped me, when I felt as though I was floundering. He said, "When I was in Japan a Zen teacher told me, Think of yourself, standing on a bridge, stationary. Below there is a river that flows constantly. It's filled with our emotions. Observer, but do not be attached."

This is has been a useful pointer, on either side of the emotional coin. If it's a negative feeling, release it. If there is a positive emotion, I don't have to hold on to it for dear life thinking that another one will never come again. More will certainly come. I don't have to live in those memories, to the exclusion of what is happening here and now in front of me. This moment, this breath is what is happening right now.

Namaste'

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

When i Make A Mistake, Please Foregive Me

There have been some recent dust-up's that I've found very telling about the nature of American society. One is over Michael Phelps and his recent admission that he smoked marijuana. Another is Tom Daschel and his failure to pay taxes over something he thought might be exempt. Beyond this there are an unlimited number of examples of people not living up to a standard, myself included

Everyone has a scar or blemish. It's a fact of life. And if people say or act as if they don't, then they are misleading you. Every single person during their life time has done something foolish or questionable.

It's our immaturity that says if you are somehow blemished or have made mistakes, you're damaged goods, needing to be discarded and thrown away. It would be to our benefit not to judge each other's entire worth by a slice or slices in time. In the current state, people want Phelps to lose his endorsements because he is not a "true," role model. People wanted Daschle out, because how can someone who made such a mistake lead Health and Human Services?

In Tom Daschle's particular case, we have created a situation where we have deprived ourselves of perhaps one of the people who could have fixed our (lack of) health-care system. We cut off our nose, despite our face. And in doing so, we may now end up with someone with the necessary chops to genuinely fix our system that is terribly out of control.

In dealing with our scars and blemishes one of two things will happen. We can fall under the weight of our scars, reliving a particular failure over and over, with a label forever condemning ourselves. The other option is that we can learn from our error and mistakes and move on. That means that we cut each other slack and give people some room to maneuver.

I prefer to cut people slack, when I can. The reason is that I like to see and believe the best in others and myself, even when I may have trouble noticing it. That's okay with me. I'm a person, not a god or major deity. I have seen people live their way into a better and happier version of themselves, that they didn't even know was there.

This means living with a sense of hope and not in a world of anger, anxiety and fear. This means having the ability to truly forgive each other (not throwing a persons past in their face and making them relive a particular moment). For me this means living a life of compassion.

My mother once said "We need to learn how to allow a person to live their past down." She is a wise woman. When I make a mistake, please (really) forgive me. I would do that for you.

In You I Trust,

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

A Moment of Conflict

Yesterday morning, someone called me, so they could give me a verbal dressing down. As this person was "letting me have it," I attempted to interject but they wouldn't allow for it. Even when they got to the end of their cathartic moment, I asked them, "can I say something now? And their response was no and they hung up on me. After I put the phone down, I said to myself, "This is way to start a Monday, come on."

After thinking about what happened and trying to figure out how I may have offended this person, I called their supervisor and let them know what happened. When I got to the end, I told the person, Buddhist does not equal doormat. When I said that, in that moment I was definitely angry about what happened, but then something shifted. It was an internal voice that said, "Someone can hand you their anger, but you don't have to receive it. Their anger does not belong to you." In the next moment I inhaled and then *really* exhaled and said to my negative emotion, "You go on with out me, I cannot afford you."

When I took my next breath I was calmer. And the breath after that I was calmer still. I was not only physically back in my office, but mentally and emotionally too. I was ready to help others again. I could stop worrying about my own feeling. I could move forward and start knocking out tasks and that's what I did.

I share this, not to say I'm a "super guy" or something. I'm sharing this with you, because I'm the type of person who used to be absorb those sort or hits, make it my own and become totally consumed with incidents like that to the point of depression (which I feel is another form of anger). In the past, something negative like that would happen and it would bother me for a few days, sometimes even a week. Now I was rid of it, inside of 15 minutes. That's real progress.

There are two Buddhist vows that I find helpful. One is, "I will be Mindful and reverential with all life, I will not be violent, nor will I kill." For me that means psychologically and emotionally too. The other is, "I will always keep my Mind at peace. I will not give way to anger." I still have moments of anger, but I've learned that if I allow it to dominate me, I will cut myself off in ten directions. To be angry is to be alone and I chose not to live there. There is something better for us, we just have to embrace that better version of ourselves.

Namaste'

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

A Deeper Sense of Love

I've been reading a book by Thich Nhat Hanh, lately called "The Ultimate Dimension." When I was reading it today he had an interesting take on love and relationships in general.

He said, "Understanding is the substance, the material that we can use to manufacture love." An important part of that process improving relationships is what he called "Deep looking." What supports deep looking is stopping and *really* listening to the other person, with our total being (almost like being is a state of meditation).

He went on to say, "sometimes we think we understand," but because we didn't stop to check (verify), we perhaps just saw an outline of what the other person was feeling, rather than the actual content. We didn't see the color, the tone, the contrasts inside the lines. This can cause problems and tension, because we missed a connection point.

When we stop and us "deep looking," that is our window of opportunity. And within the window of opportunity we can be more present, alert, aware, attentive and connected. Thich Nhat Hanh suggests that within that space, we can help to reduce stress, anxiety and suffering within our partner or people that we care about. In living like, this love truly is a verb.


Gassho,

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO