The "Bad Co-Worker"

Yesterday, I ran into a friend after work. They were telling me about their job and how they "dreaded going in," because there was someone there who was quitting and now choosing to "act out," and tell people what they "really think." We've all seen this one. The person who doesn't know how to quit well.

The person said, "I feel like I have a Dharma dilemma. One the one hand I want to be nice, but on the other I just want to react to their behavior, which would probably be unpleasant."

I responded by telling them about one of my favorite movie lines, where cocktails where Tom Cruise says in Cocktails, "Everything ends badly, or else it wouldn't end." Sometimes people have to end badly to justify their current line of action. They have to go out angry, so they can make the separation. I have no idea if that's it, but I have seen people do that over the years. What would probably be more important is not taking on their emotional baggage. it doesn't belong to you. It's kind of like meeting someone at the airport, you go to baggage claim and pick up someone else bag. You may not know what you're getting yourself into, when you do it. So sometimes, it's just better to let them carry their own stuff and just walk with them. By "walking with them," I mean telling them what you can still appreciate about them, even when they are struggling badly. That action can siphon off some of that volatility and at the same time you're not directly taking ownership of their problem.

My buddy, Mike who was with me also chimed in saying, "When I'm dealing with the bad co-worker," that for him "The Four Agreements," come in handy.

1. Be Impeccable With Your Word.
2. Don't Take Anything Personally.
3. Don't Make Assumptions.
4. Always Do Your Best.

Mike continued, "If I'm using those four simple principles as my guidelines, it keeps me emotionally on the road and I don't get so frustrated, angry or anxiety ridden myself. But embracing those principles, I get to stay centered." Which is the moment I chimed back in as said "good point," but you should probably still do Zazen to help you locate your center.

My friend responded, "All the input makes sense. Now comes the doing." Which where I responded, "which is exactly where the real learning begins for me. Getting outside the theories, guessing and ideas about stuff and into the doing."

Namaste'

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Choboji - Spring Sesshin

I'm back from "Dai Ban Zan Cho Bo Ji" (trans. Great Plum Mountain, Listening to the Dharma Zen Temple), where I attended Spring Sesshin (trans. to gather the mind). Given that this is my first post since I'm back, I thought that I would share a few reflections of my experience.

Generosity and compassion are the words I would use to describe the week long experience. The Sangha (Community of Buddhist practitioners) where always helpful, showed great respect and immense kindness which came through in a lot of different ways. A great example is if someone was hurting from the physical strain from sitting, a chair would almost magically (and mercifully appear). If you where helping in meal clean up and couldn't get downstairs to grab a cup of tea, someone would as, "can I bring you something... coffee or tea?" You just felt like you where at home, with a very kind and attentive family. Even if I made some error or were unmindful, someone would just point it out, so that I knew it happened, but oddly I felt no judgment, and because of this never felt embarrassed or outside the group of people there. If I put it another way, I'd have to say healthy, mature, no game playing or psychobabble.

The overall flow was pretty much like a good watch. This was really important, cause you always knew how long the sits would be, then a brief intermission or scheduled Kinhin (Walking meditation). The structure was comforting in it's own way. It actually helped to let go of those type of concerns and just concentrate on the practice of Zazen (Trans. To sit in unification) itself. Even Dokusan (Private interview with Genjo Marinello Osho) was orderly. Since it's usually first come first serve, the persons facilitating it made sure no one who wanted to go was missed or people "cut" in line. That may seem like an odd thing to mention, but it helps to underline the point that I felt somehow safe.

Teisho was given daily by Genjo Marinello Osho or a Dharma-talk by Genko Blackman Ni-Osho. I'd have to say, this was a personal high point for me daily, because when my concentration was off, the Teisho or Dharma-talk was like a train-rail that guided my mind back to its focus. There's no real way to fully do justice to these moments, because there were impactful on so many different levels.

As a part of the day-to-day practice, I have to mention two very helpful elements. One is Samu (Mindful work practice). I had the opportunity to work with some other participants in a street beautification project which Choboji supports. Working with plants and really taking care of the area in city-scape of Seattle felt really special. What I found a little odd, is that as people passed by, they would say to me, "thanks for doing that." Other people driving down the street, would give a thumbs up. Though I didn't know these people one on level, I did know them on another and they where appreciating what we where doing. Maybe it's just because someone took the time to make the effort.

The second opportunity that I found very powerful in its own way was working with the Tenzo (kind of the chef for Sesshin). On two occasions, I had the opportunity to learn how to prepare healthy (and delicious) vegetarian meals. Doing something for people who have been doing so much for me throughout Sesshin was really nice. But the Tenzo pointed out how the state of mind when cooking is important to the quality of the food itself. The other nice thing is I had no real idea how to cook this way on a daily basis. In those two short experiences, he was able to show me a lot of simple elements to employ which I found really fun and doable. Like I said, they weren't holding anything back.

And last but not least, I feel humbled by the opportunity to take Jukai from Genjo Osho and become a member of the Choboji Sangha. I find it difficult to express the depth of what this means to me to move in this direction on the path of Zen (Unification). This especially true for people which I respect, not because I think of feel that they are somehow so-called special, but rather because they are so down-to-earth and extra-ordinary. There is a certain simplicity and elegance to that. Nothing is out of place.

Given that I'm just back, I'm still digesting the experience and I imagine this will be so for some time. I place to resume writing Monday through Friday. I hope that you find it useful in some small way.

Gassho,

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Spring Sesshin

I'm at the gate at BWI, awaiting my flight to Seattle, as I travel to Choboji for Spring Sesshin. I will be there from today, until March 27. Given the nature of the practice, I won't be posting again until March 30th.

Since I don't forsee posting til then, be well. I also encourage you as I encourage myself to live forward into This present moment and not backwards. That's best.

My Your Life Go Well,

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

-- Post From My iPhone

Practical Instruction on Zen

Gassho,

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Showing Up For This Life

The other day I had a conversation with someone at work. It went something like this. "They say that you're Zen Buddhist. Is that true?" I said, Yes. He goes on, "I was reading some books on it in college. How would you summarize or explain Buddhism?" My response was, "Show up for This life." He asked, "Are you serious? There's got to be more to it than that. I said, "Okay, be present and show up for This life." Before he walled away with a look of disappointment he said, "Zen double speak."

Though the person thought I was probably being enigmatic, Zen mysterious or messing with him, I was actually completely serious. I'm not a Zen teacher and I'm not a Zen Master. I'm a person who happens to practice Rinzai Zen Buddhism.

What I've been to learned over the years is that there are a lot of times when plain and simple that I don't show up for life. In fact, sometimes I'm on total auto-pilot, lost in my thoughts, planning, anxiety, computer code, busy-ness. That means that I'm probably not being very mindful and not paying close attention as I could, if I was more on my game at the time. The Readers Digest version of that is, "I a zombie." I'm walking and talking but not really present, which as good as being dead.

I have mentioned here, several times that my teacher (Genjo Marinello Osho) frequently says, "Wake up, be aware, be present, pay attention, concentrate, be alert, be Mindful!" In fact I once heard Thich Nhat Hanh say, "Go back to the present moment and take good care of It." They are encouraging this instruction for a reason and it's not to kid around.

When I'm able to do that, the present and I are able to take care of each other. In fact, I feel very alive and connected, almost like I'm plugged into a vast power source. In fact many things even appear different to me and when situations arrive, I give very different responses as opposed to when I'm not in the present moment. It really effects the quality of my life.

So after nearly twenty years and saying, "Just show up and be present for This life," may not seem like I've learned much, but it sure does feel like the entire world to me. When I'm just present for a full 60 seconds, the lights are really on, and somebody is finally home.

No Such Thing As Confusion

One of my friends a long-time ago told me, "There's no such thing as confusion, there are just things that I don't want to look at." I've been thinking about over the past few months, with regard to a specific issue. Then the other day, I listened to Genjo Marinello's teisho, "Yakusan's King of the Deer." At one point, Genjo Osho says something to the effect, "It's like the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. The peices are all out on the table, in front of us. Zen training (specifically koans) help us to put the pieces together."

The issue that I've been resisting is a "Family Reunion," which is to be held this summer in Pittsburgh. My mother has really been on the case with me, but on this one I've been bobbing and weaving like a professional boxer. I've been telling myself there was some sort of vague reason why I have not wanted to go. I'd been asking myself, "why do you feel so confused over this?" As I've been immersing myself more in my Zen training, I've noticed that I'm not actually confused. What has been really going on is that I didn't want to own-up or state why I've been resisting.

Buddhistically I recognize that we are all connected and there's no separation, on another side of the coin, I feel like I don't really know these people... despite the fact that we are related by blood, I don't sense or feel a need to know them personally. Spending roughly three (3) days with such a large group of people seems in one way kind of phony and I don't do phony very well.

So no I'm not actually confused. I suppose there is no such thing. We always know the truth. That being said, this is a kind of koan. If Kanzeon has many hands because so many people need help, how can I not honor my mothers request and not go? The other day when I talked with her on the phone, she said, "I know you. You don't really want to do this and your procrastinating. You're hoping the reunion disappears or something. it won't. You need to do this, because honestly this may be one of the last times that we as an entire family may be together. People are getting very old." Did I ever mention that my mother has a "black-belt" in guilt?

On this one, I'm going to do what Genjo Osho tells us to do. I'm going to "Go sit some more." Sure I will probably go, but I would like to connect with myself fully, understanding experimentally why I'm going to do it. After all, there is no such thing as confusion, just things that we don't want to look at.

May Your Life Go Well,

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Watch Out!

Yesterday, I downloaded an incredibly moving Teisho, given by Genjo Marinello Osho, Abbot of Dai Ban Zan ChoBoji . It's titled "Yakusan King of the Deer." I wanted to share a small excerpt, because it makes such a thunderous point.

"Shoot the arrow and even the great king of the elk or deer dies. No one is immune, no matter how much money or possessions, land, enlightenment. There isn't a Ruler, a King who won't succumb to death. And all the money in the world cannot protect us from growing old, getting sick and dying. This arrow of life and death will catch up to us all. Unavoidable.

There is probably someone in trouble right now (referring to a siren sound off in the distance)... Happening all around us and with the best medicine and the best exercise, and the best intentions and healthy living. Probably the best we could possibly do with all of those factors is live out our life, and maybe without those factors of course, our life can be cut short. But whether our life is long or short, overall quite short. It's coming quickly. More quickly the older that we get [comes] the dropping of this physical form. So we all need to watch out! Wake up! Don't be lazy! We need to do what we need to do in this life. Not that we have something to accomplish. But this life is to [be] lived. Don't get distracted by the minutia."

Though this is the exact transcription of the excerpt, you should listen or download it to it through your browser at Switchpod or download it through iTunes, to get an even better taste and sense of his teisho. I really hope that you take the time to listen and appreciate it's depth and scope. You won't be wasting your time.

Namaste'

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Complete Effort

I'm coming to realize that my life is about offering my "complete effort." It's of no use to do "my best" or "200%" or so-called "just enough."

When the totality of my being is harmonized with "This Complete Effort," it usually results in a sense of well-being. I guess it's because my motivation is precisely where it needs to be.

Namaste'

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

One Act of Selflessness

I ran into a friend on Tuesday evening. When I saw them that said, "Do you remember _______? Well, she had adopted a special needs child. The child had a lot of medical issues. Very sad to say, she died in __________'s arms last week. I thought you should know, because You guys where good friends."

A day later in my email inbox, a link appeared to the obituary. As I read about the young ladies life, I smiled. In reading it, she really made use of her short 17 year life and it was clearly obvious that she had genuinely touched many people's lives. I was also smiling because my friend was there to love, care, nurture and support this beautiful child, when others picked a different path for themselves. Adopting the child was a truly selfless act. In fact within my mind, only a True Bodhisattva is capable of such an act.

Reflecting more deeply in Zazen, I was able to notice a seamless quality to __________'s act of compassion. Her sticking with the young lady, though the easy times and the difficult moments and no matter what happening, not giving up, doing everything that she and her own family could do. So selfless, so beautiful and all for the sake of This child and no other reason. There is no inside or outside to It. In fact, for her to love This child, there was not even a possibility of there being some so-called "other choice." And then look even further still, I felt that we all have this same "Capacity," and yet for whatever reasons, lets be honest, we don't always decide to use or apply our [vast] Buddha Nature.

On my "Bucket List," I still have not been able to cross off, "One perfect act of selflessness." Perhaps all of this Zen training is preparing me for That moment. One could only hope. I sense it out there... maybe better said, "in there" waiting. I just feel deeply fortunate that I have gifted friends such as _________, to light This path.



Namu Dai Bosa
Namu Dai Bosa
Namu Dai Bosa
Namu Dai Bosa
Namu Dai Bosa


Namaste'

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Don't Hold Back Your heart

Ezra Bayda once wrote, "Time is fleeting: don't hold back your heart." When I first read it, I really paused as it connected with something in my mind.

It is true, true, true that so-called "time is fleeting." Forty-three years has come and gone for me and it feels like it has only been a blink of an eye. And though time is so precious, I have to admit, there have been some moments that I genuinely "wasted" it. Times when I "held back my heart." Times when I was emotionally unavailable. Something or someone knocked and though I was home, I decided not to answer or open the door.

As I've practiced Zen over the years, one thing I've surely learned is to show up for This life. I don't have to worry about showing up for yesterday, ten years ago or even tomorrow. I just need to show up 100% for today.

Not holding back my heart, is very much linked to acting with integrity. Not only does it mean having the ability to say yes, but also knowing and understanding when to say "No." It is about being authentic, honest and sincere. Being real as opposed to phony.

As the "Evening Gatha," says: "Time moves swiftly as an arrow and opportunities can be lost. Take heed. Do not waste your time. Do not squander This life." I agree!

Namaste'

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

The Heart of Winter

Nearly every morning, I have a picture that I look at that one of my friends, Daiki Edward Cadman had sent me. It is from Rohatsu Sesshin held by Choboji. In his picture the tree is partially covered with snow, overlooking a large body of water. In the background is mist or fog, so you cannot see what's behind. In the picture, I find it interesting that near the main body of the tree, there are leaves that are clearly flowering, despite the snow and the harsh elements of cold and mist.

As I look at the tree jutting up from the ground, I am learning from it. The lesson for me is that even in the heart of our personal winter's, we can more than survive our circumstances and the elements that we are exposed too. There are moments when it might seem difficult, if not impossible, to make it through some so-called "situation." But it can be useful to remember that times like that are but a moment (in time) that will pass onward. It is truly, not forever.

Even in our tightest moment we can still flower, but we will have to do a couple of things. The first is not give up on ourselves. If we don't have a notion or idea that we are of value, things are far more difficult that usual. The second important element is to have a practice. As I have said many times before, Zen just seems logical to me. But for you perhaps it's drawing or writing or something else that you us to "Unify," Yourself. Whatever it is, do that! Third, don't isolate or shut ourselves off. Everything is interconnected and when we can really appreciate this, we can sometimes experience how even the smallest things can make an incredibly big difference.

If we "Continue On," as my teacher often says, even in the so-called "Heart of Winter," we will find a Way to bloom.

Namaste'

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Seeking to Live Up To

In his book, "Notes of Love & Courage," Hugh Prather once wrote: "Now is the time to take possession of my life, to start the impossible, a journey to the limits of my aspirations, for the first time to step toward my loveliest dream. If I had only known then what I know now... but now I know enough to begin."

Reflecting on his words, they are as true today as when I read them 15 years ago. To meet directly with our life that is us. To move through the uncertainties, anxiety and fear. And for what purpose? That we would become more whole... less fractured... much more psychologically and emotionally available to ourselves and others that we care about.

That is the dream that I am seeking to live up to, in this lifetime. For some reason, I don't feel as though it could be other than this. How about You?

My Your Life Go Well,

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Cutting Through

In cutting through (difficult) situations, sometimes the only thing we have is our "Motivation," and willingness to take "Positive Action." That can sometimes be enough, even though we may be lacking in experience.

Namaste'

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

That So Many People Need Our Help

As various times in my life, I have seen pictures or statues of Kanzeon Bodhisattva with many, many, many arms. Kanzeon is known as the Bodhisattva of Compassion, who hearing the cries of the world, reaches out to help All Being.

When I first saw these images, to be honest I thought it was a little gross. At one point I asked a friend Seigan Fudo Ed Glassing, "Why is this image with so many arms? I thought Buddhism was about realism. There's no such thing a person with a thousand arms." He told me to look closer. I noticed in the palm of each hand was an eye, which made me like the image even less. He laughed, but then went on to say, "a thousand eyes, in one thousand palms to see all the suffering that is taking place in the world. The thousand hands, is necessary, because there are so many people that need help, in being lifted from suffering."

After Seigan said that, I no longer saw the image as ugly. As a matter of fact, instantaneously it became beautiful. Recalling the suffering that I went though in my own life caused a sensation that made me want to cry, yet I held back the tears, because I recognized there was something just as important as my self. There is You too. In my consciousness "Shu Jo Mu Hen Seigan Do," (However innumerable all beings are, I vow to help them all) surfaced. It's one of the Truest thing that I had ever known.

I share this story, because though it happened many years ago, it remains an important pointer. That point is that we can be there for each other. We can and do get beyond the crap, the baggage, the anger, the frustration, the disappointment if we really work at it. But it's not going to happen by itself. We have to practice, to condition ourselves, to live authentically.

It may take a long time but we can do it. As one of my friends once said, "God never wears out and because of this, neither will you." That so many people need our help, how could it be otherwise.

May All Beings Be Happy and Free,

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Don't Take The Bait

Daily, we interact with people that can present us with big challenges. Sometimes these challenges seem daunting because the person that we are dealing with can appear and be adversarial, negative, confrontational or just likes to push the buttons of others.

When we are dealing with people who like to throw emotional bricks, we have to be careful,"Not to take the bait" that is sometimes put in front of us. It's like a fish cruising through the water. It see's something tasty, bites down on it. The end result of being hooked. Once you are on the hook, there will be no graceful way to get off of the hook. And the pain of being "on the hook," can be rather impressive. Trust me, I've been there and not just a few times.

The key to maintaining our stability is not getting ourselves on the hook, in the first place. It's refusing to give in to the temptation to bite down on the bait, no matter how irresistible it may seem. We may feel like we are some how losing something. Trust me when I say, there was nothing... no-thing to win in the first place. When we leave our "center" or our "root," we weaken ourselves. No matter what you do today, do not take the bait. Stay with your Buddha (awakened) nature.

May Your Life Go Well,

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

More Than We Realize

Thich Nhat Hanh had once said, "We have more possibilities available in each moment than we realize." Despite knowing this, I am well aware that I can become so accustomed to my habits that I can develop or hold a lopsided way of seeing or experiencing things. We get in such a rut that we limit our view and our options, for any number of reasons.

To practice with a sense of openness, spaciousness. To be intellectually and emotionally flexible can be invaluable. Zen practice, is constant re-freshening. In that place, we can perhaps notice more than we have realized before and make ourselves available to opportunities that we had previously shut ourselves off from. With Zen practice, we can and do move outside our limited tunnel vision.

Namaste'

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Emotionally Available

Emotional availability is a simple principle or notion, but can be very difficult to follow through on. I can tell you how many times that I've been in a situation where I just "showed-up," physically but not emotionally or psychologically. I, myself have made it a point to look for those moments when I do that and make an effort to do something about it.

The perfect example that I can give is my brother. I some times joke that, "we are brothers by birth, but not brothers in Mind." If you could visualize a "Ying/Yang" symbol, that would be the perfect image of us. And despite the differences in personality, focus, affinities, we are still connected - even if it's by a thread.

When I focus on differences, I influence myself to not show-up emotionally. If I saw him, it would be incredibly easy for me to just turn around and walk the other way. But given that Zen practice is about so-called, "Unification," going the other way is not really a satisfactory solution. I have to look for the similarities, the things that I can appreciate.

Locating things to appreciate is again something that is simple, yet can be difficult. The point of difficultly means being able to enter a "neutral" space, and move past whatever thoughts are encouraging mental resistance. Put another way, it could be feelings of being slighted in the past, hurt feelings, low self-esteem and other mental obstructions.

In the process of practicing Zazen, it has provided me the opportunity to cut though the obstructions that I mentioned above. Zazen enables me to not take things so personally, to be "okay" with myself as I am. As Shunryu Suzuki, Dai Osho once said, "Zen is a good house cleaning for the Mind." It really can help us to remove the mental and emotional clutter and in doing so, the natural side effect is that we are emotionally available.

The benefits of being emotionally available are tremendous. We become so much more our truer self. The connections that once seemed "thread-like," can become far stronger like the cables of s suspension bridge. Just the fact of not having to carry that emotional baggage in and of itself makes Zazen worth. And despite this, there is so much more.

Namaste'

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO