The Abusive Co-Worker

I had an incident yesterday where a person was verbally attacking and berating me (in front of others), in an on-going pattern of behavior. It was related to something I did several weeks ago and though I had heard from other people that the person was saying negative things. Since they didn't say anything to me directly, I by-passed it and filed it mentally under "Passive/aggressive," behavior and moved on.

Yesterday, as the person was standing in the middle of the office acting out, showing off, calling me to the carpet and yelling, something internally said, "enough." I looked at a picture of myself when I was at the monastery and mentally said, "I need to be true to myself. I'm not a doormat." Normally I'm pretty easy going and make an effort to avoid this level of conflict, but sometimes...

I turned from my desk to face the person and said, "The reason I sent he information out in a matrix was, I wanted people to know what the results and expectations regarding various cases. My intent and motivation was not to make you "look bad," it was to do a reasonable job. I am here to work, not to be abused. If you didn't like how I managed the information, don't run around the office, gossiping and complaining about me like someone is high school. Send me an email and I'll do it differently, next time. That would be no big deal. I don't treat You or others with disrespect, so stop being inappropriate and unprofessional with me. If you can't handle that, leave and get away from me, because I have no time for your yelling."

Instantly they stormed off and it no longer belonged to me. They continued their behavior pattern of back-biting and complaining. I know this, because it was mentioned to me later. A co-worker said, "You know ________ won't change." I replied, "they may not change, but I have. And that's the part of the show that I'm responsible for. I'm aware they are under stress, but at the same time that doesn't give them permission to use me as their Buddhist punching bag, thinking I'll endlessly take there crap and not respond."

Reflecting back, I can only do my best in each moment. Dealing with an abusive co-worker is not easy, but at some point it may be unavoidable to push back and set a boundary. My life and practice is not always about performing "emotional ballet." Sometimes it's more like being is a mosh pit. We engage in the full struggle and cut through as much of the distractions as much as possible, striving to be authentic and true to oneself. In this way, we help not only ourselves but all sentient being.

May Your Life Go Well,

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Moments of Kindness

I'm very busy, on the edge of being overwhelmed by tasks, responsibilities and things pulling at me. You probably know that feeling too. I can get really distracted, letting my focus and attention wander to what ever jumps in front of my path. The net result is that it's easy to get a little overly self involved in my personal storyline and become detached, from others.

My teacher, Genjo Marinello Osho is endlessly reminding and saying, "Be Mindful. Pay attention. Concentrate. Be aware." In fact within my mind, I often hear his voice, encouraging those principles. I value his words, because when I'm embracing and living them, they produce opportunities to enter moments of kindness.

It would be true if I said, "The sun is always shining, but I'm not always there to see it." I'm learning over time, that it's lacking mindfulness, concentration and awareness that help to obstruct the view, like an eclipse blocking sunlight. But like the moon, passing in front of the sun, if I come back to Genjo Osho's guiding words, the sun can be easily seen again. I just have to allow that distorted self pass by. And when that moment passes, those are the direct moments of kindness.

Gassho,

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Caught by Your Own Trap

Last night I ran into a friend. He shared how a little while back he was at a conference where "His Holiness The Dalai Lama," was giving talks. He said that one point that he wasn't quite sure how to interpret it was when the Dalai Lama dropped the "F-bomb."

My friend went on to say, "and to make matters worse, on Sunday you had all these people show up, who probably skipped church and boom it happened again. He used the F-word a second time and those people weren't laughing." My spontaneous response was, "Ha! He broke your box." My friend said, "But he's the Dalai Lama." I laughed. I told him, "That might be a problem for you, but I don't think it is a problem for him. He gave You and everyone else there a great gift, when he dropped the F-bomb."

I told him, Once, early in my counseling career, I was in a clinical staff meeting. We where going over patients and presenting cases. At one point, one of the other counselors was going, on and on and on about a young lady. She was saying how the patients weight is a problem to and needed to be factored in to her treatment, because she was so-called "fat" and that "it could effect her self-esteem."

After a while, I asked the counselor, did the patient see her weight as a problem or barrier to recovery? The counselor said, "no." I said, I've seen that patient you're talking about, she doesn't appear to be overweight. Who has the problem with her weight, You or her? The counselor insisted it was "the patient," but some months later, the counselor entered a facility for eating disorders.

My friend laughed. he said, "I think I see your point. My reaction doesn't really have anything to do with where His Holiness is, it's where I am. In my mind, I had him being a particular way and when he didn't act or say what I thought he should, how I thought of him dimmed a little. I was confused because I didn't get what I was expecting." And I replied, "Yep. You got caught in your own trap. It happens to me all the time. There's no reason to feel bad about it, just exit the cage." We bowed, laughed and went on our Way.

Namaste'

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

All The Earth Is Medicine

"All the Earth is Medicine," is the latest Teisho, given by Genjo Marinello Osho. From the Hekiganroku, the case involves Zen Master Ummon and how medicine and sickness cure each other. Genjo Osho's words so often resonate well with me and this Teisho is no exception.

Genjo hit me directly when he said, "The ultimate is the ability to walk in the market place with our fellow travelers on this repeat journey of life and death, truly enjoying peace of mind. Then we are indeed then like the holy fool, who even in the bustle of Seattle or Manhattan has complete ease, peace of mind, open heart and unrestricted action. It's just fine to feel It on the mountain top or walking along a deserted beach or out under a canopy of summer stars on a desert night. But to be able to walk down the streets of Manhattan and feel the same equanimity and peace in the midst of the bustle that humanity can generate is really something... Just to blend in, but at the right moment have just the right action for each and every circumstance."

I can relate deeply to this. It can be so much easier to practice when all the conditions are "just right." But most of my life is lived out in the open, exposed, where there seems to be no place for cover, because of the constant demands. Genjo Osho reminded me that Zen isn't just for that "special time," that I make on my zafu, but Zen is for every place. And that can be really difficult for me, because I can feel like "wow, I blew that one," several times a day.

If you'd like, you can listen to the complete Teisho for free on either Switchpod or iTunes. As ever, I like to remind people that though iPods are ubiquitous, you don't have to have one to enjoy it. You can just listen on your computer as I sometimes do. Either way, listening and engaging, is simply good medicine as I find his words have helped to heal some of my own wounds.

Namaste'

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Broken Glass

This morning, Deb and the kids were heading to the beach, in the mini-van. In backing up, the fence was struck and needless to say, the end result was broken glass. My initial reaction was being upset and blurting out, "Mindfulness!"

After my usual lecturing and points on mindfulness, I encoouraged them to take my car and go to the beach. I told them I'd be okay with it and I had stuff to do around the house "anyway." That so-called "anyway" found me reading and watching tv-shows that I saved on my DVR. After a while, the word "Samu," (work practice) appeared in my head. The thought of the kids possibly getting hurt was unbearable. I got my shoes on and headed outside with a trash bag.

As I surveyed the area, I thought, "How am I going to get this cleaned up?" The glass was broken into literally hundreds of little pieces, mixed in grass, moss and weeds. I went and got a thick yoga mat, folded it and started picking up lass and putting it in the bag, by hand.

As I began, the thought "be grateful for everything" resonated within me, though I didn't feel like that, when I started out. Mindfully and lightly as possible, I picked up the glass on the ground, pulled weeds and just inhaled and exhaled.

After about an hour, wiping sweat from my forehead, I wasn't upset about "why," or "how" it happened anymore. I was glad that they still had the opportunity to go to the beach and happy that I was experiencing the chance to drop a storyline. I could be with and transform the moment from "oh crap, how much is that going to cost to fix," to "Do your best, to leave no trace of glass, We don't want the kids hurt."

With each breath that we draw, there's a choice for us. Do we tap into stability of mind, or the raging tides of emotional storms? Which is more useful? Which is more helpful, not just the immediate, but the long run? We know what the truth is. We read and hear about it all the time. The key is living that truth, so that we ourselves do not end merely as broken glass.

In Gassho,

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Clearing the Space of Mind

Yesterday I was dealing with a customer service rep on the phone. I was straight with them and said, I'm really not happy with this product. I know you can't help me, so can we cut to the chase and let me speak to your supervisor? To my shock, they refused. They asked, "Why can't you talk to me?" I then asked, can to take care of this, this and this? They said, "No." So I responded with, "So now can I talk with your supervisor?" They said, "I can't really see where it's a problem so no." I called back and talked with someone else and they said, "No supervisor is available."

I was really mad. I'm like, how can I pay you money for something, the thing have problems and now I can't talk with the person I want to, so that I can have it rectified? I felt like I was being ripped off and actually a little abused. The more I thought about it, the madder I was. When I went to do Zazen, I redirected but was still pretty irritated.

This morning, I was attempting to gather my thoughts and came across this video with "Zen Master Bon Yeon." It helped me to see how I really was allowing myself to be led around like a bull with a ring in my nose. Instantly my mind lightened up.

The lesson for me is not to get hooked by the inappropriate behavior of others. Maybe this video will help you a little too.



In Gassho,

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Just This Moment

I located a short 9 minute video that's from a Dharma Talk that Jules Shuzen Harris Sensei from Soji Zen Center gave. He makes some very good points about "Pushing a rock up a hill," that we sometimes call our life. Watch and enjoy.




In Gassho,

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Not Beyond Redemption

I was in Barnes and Noble last night. I came across a dust jacket quote that was like throwing a rock though a plate-glass window. "No human being should be considered beyond the reach of redemption." ~ John Lewis.

There have been more than a few times in my life that I've struggled, trying to recover or resuscitate something within myself that I thought was gone or dead, but still valuable to me. It was motivated by my effort to somehow be a "better," person.

Despite this motivation, there were and are moments in "everyday" mind that I myself could not see how some past action or aspect of my character could be remedied, changed, fixed, adjusted for the better. And yet somehow that "impossible change," did in fact happen. That place where impossible change can happen is sometimes called "grace," or "a miracle," or "redemption." It's that sense of "hope," that maybe...

No matter what we call It, there are two sides to this coin. While the principle of redemption is not giving up on us, we too have to commit in not giving up on ourselves. That's critical. No matter how tired, angry, or disappointed We may get, never give up. It's within the process and narrative that we can and are redeemed. It's just useful to remember that it's a process and not an event.

Today as John Lewis said, I want to not just remember, but experience that "No human being should be considered beyond the reach of redemption." I'd like too think and image that we are truly worthy of that as individuals and a collective.

May Your Life Go Well,

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Breaking Through Clouds of Depression

I've mentioned a couple times lately that I had been sick. People asked, "how are you feeling?" My would say to them "50%, 60%, 75%," because I haven't felt like the so-called "best" version of myself. Eventually upon orders from Debra, I found myself at the doctors office and him saying, "You have bronchitis and a flu-like symptoms. Take this, this and this (prescriptions) and you will definitely be better."

Who would have know? There was only 48 dollars, between me and physical wellness. But what about the fog of depression and mental fatigue that I was also having trouble shaking? I was functioning but not functional.

Since going though this time, something that has kept me afloat psychologically and emotionally are some of the Choboji Sangha members. The combination of contact through emails and regular zazen on my own has helped significantly to keep my head above water. Sometimes people carry us, when we are wounded and cannot fully carry ourselves.

As I've begun to regain traction within myself, as one person reminded me that, I had to "rearrange my Mind." I was told, "When you lose your joy, you lose your strength. Whatever you do, don't allow that happy person to evaporate."

Hearing that made something click. Instantly I felt a huge break in my emotional clouds and something warm came through. It felt like the ability to receive compassion. I was doing much more than treading water.

Last night when I got home from sitting with the Salisbury Buddhist Sangha, I one more helping hand appeared. Chalip, over on Twitter posted something helpful on their blog called 108 Days, by John Daido Looori.

My own teacher, Genjo Marinello Osho recently reminded me of something very true. He said, "Give yourself to the Dharma and the Dharma will give Itself to you." It didn't seem to fully apply when he said it, but it sure as heck does now!

Whether I've noticed or not, It really has been helping me out, giving Itself to me, more than a little bit. When I'm looking down at the ground or my feet, It can be very difficult to see. But if I lift me head and eyes, breath in and breath out, I can not only see It, but experience it as well.

Namu Dai Bosa!

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Clearly Yes, Clearly No

Last night, Deb and I watched a movie at home called "Yes Man," staring Jim Carey. While the movie makes a comedic point about the things that we say "no" and "yes" too, it got me thinking about my own behavior.

Maybe you can relate to me in that, there have been times when I wanted to say "Yes," in certain situations, but ended up saying no and vice versa. Usually when I do that, it's either that I feel obligated, playing a long-shot and hoping for the best or fear of letting myself or someone else down. Taking the time to study those instances teaches me a lot about myself. Looking at those moments has enabled me to "waiver" less, between the thinking and corresponding actions.

Wavering so-called "less," for me has to do with connecting to "Clearly Yes," or "Clearly No." It's about having the capacity to have a complete response in whatever direction that we are moving in. Examples for me is when Debra and I decided to get married, that was clearly yes. There was absolutely no division within my heart/mind. Being a father, is clearly yes. I wouldn't have that aspect of my life any other way. Taking Jukai with Genjo Marinello Osho, Clearly Yes. For me there is such a certainty there that I regard that as what is sometimes called "Dharma Arrangement."

Clearly "No," comes in the for of, when battling active addiction to drugs a little more than 22 years ago. There was a point when I deeply and clearly needed to say to my, "No more." I 100% refused to live that chemically distorted life. There was also a time many years ago, I was asked to change a report. I told the person asking me to do so, "If you are the good guy, but then you lie, it becomes extremely difficult to become the good guy again in oneself and others eyes. I chose to say no."

Those clearly yes and no moments are when all doubt evaporates. It's as if there was nothing else to do but that thought and action. And yet it's still possible for us, if we allow ourselves to violate these core values or principles, if we are not actively working on building a sense of wholeness and integrity within ourselves. Without that, it's very easy to slip into dark places within ourselves.

I am reminded of when Zen Master Rinzai Gigen asked his students, [paraphrased] "Do you know where your disease (and dis-ease) lies? It's that you have no faith in yourselves. When you have no faith in yourself, you are driven this way and that. And no-where that you stand will you be your own master."

Perhaps it's the positive compassion, integrity and faith which we embrace and nurture within ourselves that gives us the ability to clearly say "yes" or "no." To get there, all that we have to do is remove our barriers and limitations. And that my friend is the gift of on-going Zazen.

Namaste'

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

This Now

In Zen there is an expression about "The Three Periods of Time." This refers to the past, the present and the future. Most of my life, I've been dealing with my problems with time travel. It was usually reliving some memory that I loved or hated, or living in some fantasy realm of a life that I would like to have. The net result was leaving little time or energy for living in This present moment.

Memories of our past, in and of themselves aren't bad. In fact there are some very valuable lessons that we've learned, along our path that we call our life. Having a vision or dream of the future is not in and of itself bad either. That vision can motivate, direct and re-direct out thinking and behavior, in positive ways. But I've found that I have to create a space to live in the here and now. When we are living in the past or the future, we are day dreaming and not attentive to the needs and requirements of this moment. If you don't believe me, try daydreaming and crossing a busy street at the same time. Some things are not to be mixed together.

There are times that I sit down for Zazen and my mind is hammered by things that happened yesterday, or last week and are troubling me. Other times my mind might be focused on something happening that day or in the near future. What happens is that I cannot seem to get traction in my meditation. My mind is everywhere but here.

When this happens I do one of three things to find my way back into the present, because different things work at different times. I count the breath 1 to 10 and repeat it. The other thing I do is must breath my Koan. The third thing I sometimes do is something Thich Nhat Hanh suggests. I say to myself, "At this very moment, I am breathing in." And when I exhale, I say "at this very moment I am breathing out."

What's funny about that is that there have been a couple times that I have been so unmindful or not present that I was actually saying, "I am breathing in," but physically I was breathing out at the time. I was far from "This Now," this moment. It doesn't get less mindful than that, when you don't know what direction your breathing in.

By having a couple of experiences doing that, it caused me to value the present moments that much more and work harder to be present in each moment. I thought that I needed to ask myself why I as "running away," from the present moment. Why did I want to be somewhere else other than now? What was the payoff or being so distracted?

Eventually with time, I heard in inner voice saying, "This now is All there is, in this very breath." That inner voice also told me, whatever the reason is that I wasn't in the "Now," didn't ultimately matter. There was always going to be some excuse or reason. What matters was just coming back to the present moment, each time that I disappeared from it. This "Now," really is all that matter.

So how is "This Now," working out for You? Please feel free to comment back. I learn a lot by listening to others.

Namaste'

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Compassion Fatigue

I'm been ill over the last 2 weeks or so and have had a hard time shaking it. One of the negative side effects is incredible fatigue. That being said, it's a little harder for me to write from what I call "My authentic center." I saw a doctor yesterday and will hopefully be fully back on my game in short order.

In the mean time, I'm sharing a short video with Roshi Joan Halifax and Brother David Steind, discuss getting beyond what they call "Compassion Fatigue." This is not the full talk, but it does create some interesting opening. I how you enjoy it.



In Gassho,

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Intention to Be Peace

This is a short ten minute video with Thich Nhat Hanh. He discusses various aspects of using meditation to be Peace.



Gassho,

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

To Be Resolute

Resolute is one of my favorite words. By definition it means, "Firm in purpose or belief; characterized by firmness and determination." That is a principle that has been really useful in my life, especially when I feel nervous, scared (and scared), overwhelmed, frustrated, doubt myself or others. To be "Resolute," calls me back to my center of gravity.

In my life, I have some really big, big challenges. I don't always have an answer as to how to navigate the challenge or solve the problem, but what I do have is the steady determination to face them. And as I face these challenges, I focus my mind and attention on the key principles that got me here. Compassion, action, respect, empathy and hope.

When I was at Choboji for Spring Sesshin, my sitting place with directly faced out towards a window. What I was able to see, as I sat was a very large tree. During that week, there where times that wind would blow very, very hard. The sky would be dark, grey, cold and forbidding. In fact, the circumstances where at moments so influential that it could touch my mind and emotions, in different ways. But what was interesting is that every single time that happened, at some point the weather would break, the sun peaking out and there the tree was, standing a firm and solid as ever. I had a sense or feeling that no matter what happens, it really will be "a-okay."

When we would go outside and wait for Kinhin (walking meditation), I would look at what allowed this beautiful tree to stand firm. It was it's base (which also stood a white Buddha statue - go figure), it's roots that seemed to be deeply connected to the Earth. This interconnection allowed it to withstand any circumstance (good or bad) and not topple over. And that's when I realized that a part of that resoluteness that I feel is influenced by what I am rooted to, my Family and the Choboji Sangha. As Genjo Marinello Osho sometimes says, "There's no mystery at all. It's right in front of our face."

Whether our circumstance *seem* impossible or easy, "To Be Resolute" is important. To stand firm and rooted within myself and practice, family, Sangha and friends, not allowing myself to get carried away by the circumstances on either side of the coin. In this resoluteness we may come to fully realize our harmony, balance and that we're a-okay.

May Our Life Go Well,

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

An Intimacy That Binds All Things

Starting off our week together, I urge you to listen to Genjo Marinello Osho recently released Teisho (trans. place where the Truth is). It's case number 83 from the "Blue Cliff Record," entitled, "Old Buddha Communes with the Pillar." It's about 35 minutes long, utterly brilliant and completely beautiful.

Genjo Osho, expresses the deep importance of communing with every aspect of our lives. It's a communication and intimacy that as he puts it (paraphrased), is beyond our normal everyday turbulence which we can so easily become engaged in and distracted by. A practice which enables us to fully embrace our Buddha (trans. Awakened) Nature and bloom fully.

You can listen (FREE of charge) by clicking her and going to "Switchpod," or if you're using iTunes look for "Choboji Media." Despite it being FREE, Genjo Marinello Osho's teisho are something that have been of immense value not just spiritually, but psychologically and emotionally. Truly a compassionate act. Enjoy.

In Gratitude,

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Michelle Obama | Lessons in Buddhism

This morning, I came across a very nice article written my Ed and Deb Shapiro on Michelle Obama over at the Huffington Post. The straight-forward tone of the piece is a nice change, from the usually negativistic and combative press.

It's impressively easy for us to notice what is wrong. It's seems much more difficult to notice what's going right. To excerpt a quote from the article, I found it moving when that quoted Shakyamuni Buddha saying:

A person who gives freely is loved by all. It's hard to understand, but it is in giving that we gain strength. But there is a proper time and a proper way to give, and the person who understands this is strong and wise. By giving with a feeling of reverence for life, envy and anger are banished. A path to happiness is found. Like one who plants a sapling and in due course receives back shade, flowers, and fruit, so the results of giving bring joy. Through continuous acts of kindness the heart is strengthened by compassion and giving. -Buddha

That quote certainly leans in to what can and is going right within each of us. In each of us, there's always the opportunity for us to express our inherent capacity for kindness. We just have to seize upon it, in our daily lives.

Namaste'

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Shobogenzo and a Little More

I came across a website called, "Numata Center for Buddhist Translation and Research." To my amazement, they offer the PDF downloadable version of the complete Shobogenzo, written by Dogen Zenji. It's widely considered to be one of the greatest literary works in Japanese history. And to top it off, the four volumes are FREE. I paid $100.00 for the paperback versions, several years ago. It's very kind that they are offering it this way.

This translation is the one by Gudo Nishijima and Chodo Cross. It's well done and digestible. In addition, they also have translations of "The Platform Sutra," as well as the "Vimalakirti Sutra." Check it out and enjoy. You can't go wrong on this one.

Oh and I last thing. I'm can't remember if I menioned it, but there is another FREE translation of Dogen Zenji's Shobogenzo over at Shasta Abbey. That one is complete and nice too. To download the "complete" book, click the very first link in the sentence. It may not be obvious to you at first. The links further down are to single sections and chapters.

In Gassho,

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

DBZ Samu Weekends

I got an email a few weeks ago from Dai Bosatsu Zendo. They are having some "Samu," weekends. It's an opportunity to engage in "Work-Practice," as well as an opportunity to engage in other traditional Zen practices. I was thinking that you might find some enjoyment in it as well. DBZ is a very beautiful place.

I included the original email which explains all the details. Just click on the image to get the full image. I really do hope to see you at one of them.



Gassho,

Seiho, Curator
digitalZENDO

De-Magnification

In a particular field of study called, Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), there is a principle that whatever we as individuals pay attention to becomes magnified in our mind. When we ocus on something that's practically the only thing that exists. In fact we will often rule out other alternatives and possibilities based on our "focus."

In the Dhamapada, the Buddha, made this very observation, over 2000 years ago when he said, "What we think about expands." Where our mind lives, our world lives and depending on how we feed our attention and focus, it either becomes inflated or deflated. This is all dependant on how we manage (or mismanage) our mind.

For me it used to be that I was really proficient at depressing myself. Someone would saying something negative and I would obsess on whatever it was that they said. It didn't even have to matter if it was true or not. As I gave my time, attention and focus to whatever it was, I become more and more consumed. I'd go home from school or work and think about whatever it was all evening, into the night and God-forbid if it was a Friday. I'd would run those feeling though my mind over the entire weekend. By the time it was all over, I just wanted to stay in bed and keep the blanket pulled over my head, foolishness thinking that in someway that would keep the outside world out, like when I was 7 years old.

Over the years, my practice has given me tools that give me the opportunity to better direct my mind. This in turn influences feelings, action and reaction. The net result is better emotional balance, with myself and others. Instead of magnifying the negatives and spending all my time and attention with those things, I'm living in a process of "de-magnification." Here are a few of the many options that I use.

1. Zazen, Zazen and more Zazen. Learning to sit and unify my mind has been the single greatest help that I've ever had. By sitting, I've learned a lot about my mind and how it operates. I've also learned how to calm it a little.

2. Something comes up, I deeply inhale and then deeply exhale. In this way, I connect myself to my body. When I've had anxiety or panicked in the past, I noticed that I was always breathing shallow, which made the feelings worse.

3. When I feel negative or frustrated, I go out and do something for someone else, being mindful and kind as possible. This along can interrupt a lot of negative feeling.

4. Re-visualization. I see things within my mind in the context of pictures, not actual words. NLP teaches, to take negative visualizations and make them appear physically smaller within our minds eye. We can also change the brightness, sharpness or contrast of what we are seeing. When I have a negative emotion, I sometimes like o make it blurry and out of focus. I also move it away from in in terms of distance.

5. Audio - Spoken word. I have this issue that I get to listen to myself all day long. That means that I get into a rut (without noticing) and have very fixed ideas or notions. I use self-improvement, spirituality or humor to help me see more broadly or change a mental channel in my mind if I need to.

6. Call or email someone (healthy). I reach out to my friends all the time. Sometimes just seeing their words, hearing their voice or spending time is enough to produce a mental and emotional shift and put things in perspective.

7. When people come to me with negatives, I remind myself intentionally that their thoughts and feelings do not belong to me. People are frequently trying to give us things. They aren't always presents. They are sometimes emotinal baggage and booby-traps which I cannot afford to carry.

8. Journaling. Writing things down is amazingly useful. Things look a lot different on paper, than in our head. We may notice and learn some things which we may not have previously considered. I write, just about every day and it helps a lot. I call it my bread-crumb trail.

Keep in mind, this isn't a complete list, but just a few of the options that I affford myself. The net result and intention of these actions is de-magnification. We can take those things that we make huge in our minds and let the air out of them, so that our day-today life is a little more manageable. Happiness belongs to us, we just have to make some effort to be in that state.

Namaste'

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Compression to Decompression

I have a way "multitasking," on a regular basis in my life. The general idea has been to prioritize and compress as many activities and responsibilities as possible into each day. In this way I feel like I've been very efficient, good employee and friend. In a certain sense, I lived and died by my "Things," task scheduler/organizer. I've been very faithful to the GTD (Getting Things Done) way of life. In truth is really has helped me out a lot, but I've noticed something interesting along the way.

As my life is filed with so many tasks and responsibilities, I've noticed what one might call "over-compression." We sometimes have too much activity to genuinely feel our moments. On top of this, just because I've been come hyper-efficient does not necessarily equal being "hyper-effective." And to be brutality honest, it doesn't always equate in to "High-quality," moments or outcomes. All the activity and task compression really means is we're just very, very busy.

The above being said, I'm making efforts to decompress certain area's of my life. When Deb and I are talking, I turn off the TV, drop the book or close the computer. When I'm with the kids, I'm with the kids and no iPhones are allowed. When I'm doing Zazen and someone calls, I don't answer. My responsibility to myself is to feel my practice, talking removes my concentration.

Moving from compress, compress, compress to decompress has given me some interesting results. I feel like I have far less psychological indigestion. I realize I was doing a lot of sampling and checking things off a list, but not a lot of allowing myself to fully embrace and experience the moments.

I'm not sure if you've experienced the same thing. I'd love to hear your thoughts and experiences. Make a comment. Decompression is vital to our psychological, physical and emotional well-being. We can definitely learn from each other.

Namaste'

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Zen is Antivirus for the Psyche

I'm fortunate to have a couple of good friends in my life that I can be 100% straight with. I can say exactly how I feel or what I'm thinking without having to edit myself, even if at time they or I may beat around the bush, before we get to what we really want to talk about. I'm really fortunate that I don't have to carry things alone, unless I intentionally want to.

For me this is a big change from how I was when I was in my late teens and early twenties. I'd have to say that at that time, I used to think that I almost liked being cut off and estranged from others. I'm not sure where it came from, but I had this thought or idea that I had to do things so-called "alone," and without the support and assistance of others. I thought that defined, "true," character. The net result was suffering and making it worse or prolonging my problems, because of some illusions that I carried within me.

What helped to create my illusions and what I sometimes call "distortions in consciousness," was something akin to a virus. Like computers can get a virus that changes up their code, resulting in dysfunction, people get psychological viruses too. There were things that happened in my life that didn't control my psychological code, but it was certainly influenced.

A few weeks ago when I was at Spring Sesshin at Choboji, Genjo Marinello Osho said something that on the surface might seem small, but in fact was rather large. He stated, "Does Mount Rainer and the Cascades control the weather? Absolutely not. But does Mount Rainer and the Cascades have the capacity to influence weather and circumstances? Absolutely, Yes."

We've all had some situations in our life, influence our psychological code. It doesn't matter if it was being made fun of when we were a kid, having a tough childhood, low self-esteem, being poor, experiencing abusive relationships or some other form of suffering. Our code was influenced in such a way we may not be as fully connected to ourselves and others as we could be. This is where Zen Buddhism comes in. It's our antivirus and gets rid of the trojans, malware and defective code.

Zen but definition means, "To unify." This is in direct opposition to what our psychological viruses do to us, which is to cause gaps, distance and separation. As we sit, and sit and sit (Doing Zazen), we begin to see things not for what they are but what they are not. We reach out to others, for support. Others like a Zen teacher often notice things which we miss, because we are sometimes too close to the situation, or lived with something so long that we no longer notice. I had one friend say to me at one point, "I was depressed for so long, I didn't know I was depressed." Wow, that's big.

In closing I would say, "Impossible change is possible." But that change is not only based on what we do with ourselves, but in relation to each other as well. Honest communication with ourselves and friends can have a very strong influence on us. That is just as much a part of Zen as seated meditation, helping to rid us of the trojans and malware, living within our psyche. Zen really does make for great antivirus.

May Your Life Go Well,

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Coming Home to Oneself

This is a short ten (10) minute video clip with Thich Nhat Hanh, wherein he is essentially talking about coming home to oneself. It's like hearing direction or advice from a very kind friend or loved one. Enjoy.



Namaste'

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Open-Hearted Practice

Genjo Marinello Osho of Dai Ban Zan, Cho Bo Zen Ji published a new Teisho entitled, "Indestructible Dharma Body." It's on Case 82 of the Blue Cliff Record. As ever, Genjo Osho expresses himself in a way which is clear, penetrating and easily digestible.

Genjo Osho starts out by saying, "Undoubtedly everyone in this room... some quickly come to mind, have had a brush with death or more than one where perhaps there were only moments... a few breaths between you and extinction of this particular, peculiar, unique form. And if there are some in the room who have not had such an experience, and have not been so close to dropping this body. There's without exception no one who hasn't had a close loved one or friend who has died or we say passed away.

We constantly fool ourselves about our own mortality. We would like to think, but the older we get the harder it's to sustain that we're indestructible and that we will some how go on forever, meet the next challenge... But always over come. Our intellect of course knows better. We understand quite realistically that everything is impermanent. But somehow we avoid really letting our psyche know this, until our own brush with death or someone close to us dies. And then we usually become very acutely aware of our own temporary nature.

It is one of the most life giving moments to be that raw and aware of our temporary nature. Many, many, many people and I and sure some in this room can tell you from their own experience that a brush with death made life so much more real and precious ."

Genjo Osho goes on to express how "Open-Hearted practice," or "Being awake," allows us to see past out distortions and illusions so that we can fully experience This moment. He himself says, "What we are always shooting for is everyday, open-hearted Mindfulness, attention, awareness in each and every activity that we engage in. It's very simple to say, and as we all know, not very easy to do. But this is our path. This is our practice. And this is how we can tell how far our practice has come. How much of your day is spent in open-hearted Mindfulness?"

That last sentence is such a great challenge, for us to find our way into the present moment. Very, very, very authentic.

Listening to the full teisho, I would think you would find it deeply compelling and moving. You can hear it at SwitchPod or download it free of charge, and transfer it to an MP3 player of your choice. I hope that you find that it gives you encouragement and connects with you in your practice.

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

There for the Struggle

During Spring Sesshin, Dokusan (private meeting with the Osho) was available twice a day. It's an opportunity to talk with your teacher about your practice or present your Koan. I used to think of it as a kind of pass/fail situation, until a week ago.

At one point, I found myself really stuck and couldn't figure out how to move forward on a particular Koan. I asked one of my friends for a suggestion for how they get unstuck. They said, "I tell Genjo (Marinello) Osho, the truth. I just say, I'm stuck and I don't know what to do. He listens and is always able to turn it another way, so that I have another approach." Later this person drilled it home by saying, "Genjo Osho is not just there for the moments that you pass your challenges and koans, he is there for those in between moments, when you are [deeply] engaged in the struggle."

That hit me square in my heart and opened a window within my mind that I had not thought about or considered before. It was like seeing the other half of a picture, despite the fact that it was there all the time.

When I next saw, Genjo Osho in dokusan, I told him "I'm lost lost, lost on this one." He smile, laughed and said, "sometimes that is me too." He proceeded to give me guidance to approach what I was dealing with from another angle. It tuned out to be helpful and showed me a particular blind-spot that I have. I also learned something about humility (that I didn't have or express when I was holding back) and being okay with vulnerability with certain people.

That experience taught me a valuable lesson. It's not just about the moments when we are the so-called "winner." Our close and authentic relationships are about those moments when we are stuck in the tar-pit and feel as though we cannot get out, on our own.

Expanding on this principle, I thought about the relationship that I have with my oldest daughter. She's thirteen and loves to bring and show me the "wins," that she has in her life, but a little slower to share her struggles. Maybe she figures that she is somehow disappointing me, when in point of fact she's not.

When I got home form Choboji, I talked with her about my "wanting to be there for her struggles, not just the victories." You wanna know what happened? She started talking and sharing. It may have only been one time, but it was very heart felt and I as a father learned a lot about what a brave and beautiful girl can go though as a teenager in school. There where no walls, no time, no distance and no gap. It was a kind of seamless moment.

I learn a lot as a Zen student, a husband and father, as a friend and as a co-worker, when we are working though not just the so-called "good" times, but the "not-so-good" moments. We are usually more attentive and alive, because of the situation requires it. We just have to be open, listen and be there for the struggle and in that way we can help each other authentically.

Gassho,

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

The Sustainable Lifestyle

While I was at Choboji last week for Spring Sesshin (trans. To gather the Mind), a notion that popped up on my mental radar screen was "How sustainable is my lifestyle?" From my perspective this is extremely important, since we live in a kind of "Attention Deficit Disordered," (ADD) culture.

Deeper questions come up for me such as:

Do I handled the relationships with family, friends and co-workers in ways that are sustainable or are they ones of extremes?

Is the way I treat my physical health sustainable, in terms of diet and exercise or am I doing things that could end up hurting me?

Do I treat myself in a way that can sustain healthy self-esteem?

Do I handle my finances in a way that is sustainable or am I digging a hole that is bound to bring trouble for me?

Do I take on tasks and responsibilities that are sustainable, over the long run, or am I pushing myself towards burning out?

I find these kind of questions really important, because it goes to a central question of, "Am I setting myself up for failure?" It seems to me that the notion of sustainability can have a significant influence on our ability to be fundamentally happy and satisfied with ourselves and our life in general. The other side of the coin is a life of anxiety, being overwhelmed and being destined for self disappointment and low self-esteem.

Sustainability was dramatically on display for me at Choboji, when I had the opportunity to work with the Tenzo (the chef) in making a few meals. In working with Chodo, I was learning and gaining new insights into "vegetarian" cooking where I might be able to do it after leaving there. Before that, I was just plain clueless and had no real idea or understanding of how to do it. In learning new information and skills, I've improved not only the likelihood that I can keep it up, but also improve my health over the long run. That's really important to me.

At this point, I like to think that living the "sustainable" lifestyle is the "Middle Way," that Buddha encouraged. Taking a look into ourselves and seeing if our lifestyle is sustainable is of real value. Not only can sustainability influence the quality of our life experience, but it can also be a sign that we really care about ourselves.

Namaste'

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Sharing a Practice with Thich Nhat Hanh

This is a video of Thich Nhat Hanh at the "President's Forum," presented on FORA.TV. Though it's total run time is an a little more than at hour, if you just watched the first 10 minutes, you would have everything that you need.

In the video, Thich Nhat Hanh does go into area's like, "Living in the Moment, Suffering, Confrontering Fear, among other things. If you make the time, you will probably get something out of it and that's all that matters.

I found it to be very inspiring. You can either watch the full video or just click on the sections you are interested in. I really liked, the "Opening Prayer," which was really a meditation and "Living in the Moment."


Gassho,

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO