Inconsistently Kind To Myself

Why do we practice The Way? This is a common question. On some level the real answer is always the same [for each of us], to become so-called "enlightened." If I were to put it another way for myself, it would be to say, to be in the seamless nature of This life.

So with such high aspirations, it's sad if not funny that we can do things to block our own path. This "blocking," for me is that I can be "Inconsistently kind" to myself, tripping and at times even discouraging myself.

When I say "Inconsistently Kind," what I mean on the deeper level is that as I'm moving though my life, when things go "Not as expected," it can take me about 15 seconds to whip out the invisible baseball bat on myself. I can say to myself, "You should have seen that one coming. Why did you make that choice? When are you going to completely change? If you're intent on practicing, why did you stand there while others gossiped?" Each of us have many, many negative self statements, which can lead to undermining ourselves. The trick for me has been learning how to notice these moments of unkindness and then developing the skill to let go of this kind of inner self-violence.

Another aspect of being "Inconsistently kind," is not properly taking care of ourselves. This covers a lot of ground. There are things like "proper diet, proper exercise, Zazen, reading, having healthy boundaries with ourselves and others, taking and making down-time." In one light some of these things seem small and insignificant, but over time they can really add up and help us to Be and Feel much more solid and firm within ourselves.

In my ongoing effort at developing skills to be [more] "Consistently kind," I've had to learn how to see though situations enough that I can put them in their proper perspective. This includes having the ability to see my illusions for what they are. The line of thinking is "not making mountains out of molehills." The other thing is not to turn my practice into an opportunity for self-condemnation. A great example is getting angry with myself, when I "break" one of my personal policies or rules. Spiritual growth and development is a process not an event.

As I say these things, please don't make the mistake that I'm arguing against, strong effort and determination in our practice. When I am talking about in my own experience is learning how to do so with compassion and love. Without that compassion and love, the change and growth is limited and shallow.

"Happiness is an inside job," is not a throw-away line. It's really, really, really true! We have to learn how to work with our mind. This isn't the same as the nature of our education system today where we or our children are expected to learn all sorts of facts and figures. The inside job of happiness is something much bigger than. To get to that place of Being happier inside of our skin, we have to move past our inconsistent kindness and show self kindness with greater regularity.

May Your Life Go Well,

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Not Giving Up

It's easy to say, "Don't give up on yourself or others," but much harder to do. Part of what makes it hard is when I focus more on what's going on around me than within me. All sort of defense mechanisms like externalizing (blaming), rationalizing (excuse making), regression (back sliding after a period of progress), can be used when we want to justify or desire to give up or run away.

Compounding matters can be other factors as well. There can be issues surrounding having experienced a difficult life, the one that we didn't have that we thought we were supposed to. There can be issues of low self-esteem, forcing us to sometimes feeling awkward and out of place. There are many, many, many matters to compound and confound us that we are left, not wanting to live, but just survive the day, hoping that somehow things will be better tomorrow. There are so many things to distract, so few to unify.

The truth is that our life circumstances doesn't get better on it's own. We have to take actions that can bring or restore our mind and our life to a place that helps us weather our personal storms, so that we can live forward and not stay stuck in our personal tar-pits. For me it means building a foundation based on the eternal principles within Zen Buddhism.

The eternal principles that I am taught by my teacher, Genjo Marinello Osho are so simple. Regularly he may say "Pay attention to your life. Sit some more, Combust yourself, Practice Open-heartedly, Practice with your vows, Harmonize with your circumstances - even when You don't feel Your best." His guidance is always, "Just straight ahead." There is no complication in this other than the ones that I might choose to make or give into.

To me so-called "Real" Zen encompasses, Mindfulness, determination with a focus on kindness, compassion and a gentle hearted way with All sentient beings... that includes me. When I am living within those principles, it's much easier to live, not just survive. When I am living within the principles expressed here, there is no giving up on myself or other. There are thousand arms and hands that can help to lift us from suffering and be truly awakened. The key for me it would seem is in giving myself to This Way, and not giving up.

Love All - Serve All - Every Day,

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
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Bringing the Crystal of Awareness

I thought it might be helpful to conclude this week with one more short video talk with Shodo Harada, Roshi on not just bringing forth the "Crystal of Awareness," but what helps to make us mentally and emotional sick, in the first place. Many people seemed shocked by so-called "untimely death" of some people who are well know in the media. Some have said, "It ended all too soon." And I would say, not just for them, but one day all too soon, it will end for us too. That is a fact which cannot and will not be disputed. So do we live stuck in this dream and delusion or do we make the effort to wake up and experience what is really Here? Harada Roshi leans into this notion very well. Enjoy.



Love All - Serve All - Every Single Day,

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
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Being In This Body

I can't tell you how many times that I have sat down for Zazen (Sitting in Unification) and after a few breaths, my mind was a thousand miles away from my body. Sometimes my mind can feel plain old sleepy. Other times, my mind seems like it's set in planning mode and I'm sitting there going through tasks, looking at possible resolutions to challenges, problems and whatever. And then in other moments I'm could be running through mental video tapes about things that I did and didn't like from the day (in some cases week, months and years) before. I may be physically in my body, but I am not be mentally.

Though I'd like to make excuses and say, "It's not a big deal, it happens to everybody," that's not good enough for me. The truth for me is that when my mind is not present within my body, I could very well be avoiding myself and running away, from some things that I don't want to face. The mind or part of me that I am not always aware of, sometimes like to create smoke screens, to avoid painful mental and emotional confrontation. There's an old Tibetan expression that goes, "Just like dogs don't like to be hit with the stick, people do not like to be hit with the truth."

The clear truth is that in order to wake up, We have to stop running from ourselves. In order to wake up, even in the slightest, We must learn to be inside our own body. Without being fully present, we can remain adrift and lost in our innumerable distractions and fantasy worlds. The body is in the real world, but the mind is not.

The good news is that there is a path or trail that will lead us into our body. One solution is Zazen, even if it's only 10 minutes at a sit, counting each breath clearly - one to ten and then starting over again. And when we lose the count, just retuning gently to one. When we are fully present and our whole body is just one, just two, just three, that is in fact at that instant, the whole Universe. One little tip I can offer, if to be so bold is to suggest that we lay our "focus" on the count, not concentrate. Contraction and focus are two different things. It would be helpful to remember that.

Learning to be in my own body has been helpful to me. It has changed how I deal with not only myself, but others. This could be because when I'm with myself, I'm really with myself. When I'm with You, I can really be with You. When I'm working, I am the work. When I'm at the movies, I am really with the movie. When I'm with the lawn mower, I am really there, cutting the grass. There is not gap, no distance, no separation and no time. There is just "Being in This Body."

Love All - Serve All and Be Well,

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Don't Argue for Your Suffering

Yesterday, I was in a situation where I was asked to help a person in crisis. Talking with the person, it was obvious that he was suffering. He talked about how he wanted to "give up," on recovery. He talked about how he had failed "many times," before and how he "felt" like he "couldn't" change and had the sense that no one cared for him.

After listening for a while I said to him, "I think I understand one reason that change might be difficult for you." He asked, "Why would it be?" I replied, "Because You argue for Your own suffering. You don't argue for Your recovery and things that strengthen You." I went on to explain, "You tell me how everything is wrong with your life, no one loves you, no one cares about you, you don't know how to change. I think that's crap, I know you are equiped and able to succeed. You started out as a baby crawling on the floor and making weird noises. You learned to get up an walk, talk, get an education, you have done many things to succeed in your life. Is that true or false?" He replied, "True." I went on, "Then maybe we can apply that learning and succeeding mind to this situation and you will see things differently and start make changes."

Reflecting back on this exchange, I really do notice the times when I talked my self into failure or giving up, by arguing for my suffering. When I do that, it can be so self defeating and inject a stunning amount of chaos and negativity into my sense of being. The only thing that I've found to counter that particular situation is guiding my self to "notice," or "focus," on something different.

What I mean by this is when I'm in the "weeds" or "overwhelmed" asking myself, "What is going right, in the very moment?" I focus my attention on that, then begin to expand my thinking based on that focus. Alternatively, I call or write one of my friends and touch base with them, because when I am unsteady, they can often be an anchor for me and help me to become more grounded and help me to notice things that I miss in my field of vision.

I also like to remember some things I learned from Tony Robbins. The chief lesson is that, "The past does not equal the future." The other thing is that when I'm upset or depressed, I look up at the ceiling or sky and smile. Robbins say's it's almost impossible to do that and stay depressed or angry. I've found this simple pattern interruption to be true. We really are equipped to solve our problems and challenges.

The above being said, my hard and fast rule is that if I have the awareness at the time, "I don't argue for my suffering. I argue for my happiness." When I'm doing that, it is so much easier to live inside of my skin. It takes time, effort and practice, practice, practice. It can be done, just like I mentioned when we learned how to go from crawling to walking. We are all capable, we just have to live and express those capabilities clearly and firmly. Agrue for your happiness, not your suffering.

Namaste'

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Returning to Clear Mind

This morning I selected a short 10 minute video with Shodo Harada Roshi. He expresses the vitality of unifying ourselves though Zen practice, so that we can return to our clear mind.




Practice Well,

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

The Whole Body

The latest teisho released by Genjo Marinello Osho is entitled, "The Whole Body is Hand and Eye," which is from case 89 from the Hekiganroku. It has proven itself a very forward leaning talk that I personally found hit home on many points, impacting not only my mind but my heart.

Genjo Osho starts out by saying "You know, we are all unfolding. There is no end to it. And we never arrive at completion of learning or growing. At a certain point our body will definitely wither and dissolve. But then the learning and growing... and the expansion of the Universe does not stop. It continues on in other forms, so there is no end that we can conceive of anyway of this expansion of Universe and Consciousness or Mind if you will. And We all... everyone of us... everyone in this room is part of the current biosphere and part of the current Mind of the Universe manifest as You and Me.

We get in trouble even when we use a word like Mind or word like Universe, because we start getting fixed ideas of what that is. And we think we know when we don't. Lets just suffice to say there is no end to growing and learning. There is no end to expansion. In this physical form called a Human Being we are doing our part and taking a turn at this unfolding and expansion collectively. The next generation or biosphere will pick up where this generation leaves off, its like passing a baton, but there is no end to the race.

In this process of unfolding, growing, expanding that we are all a part of and that we come to this room, the Zendo to ground and root in the soil of the very expansion of the Universe... so that we might better unfold through our own complexities, attachments, delusions, and that we might flower and open as best we can in this incarnation as a Human Being. And this is really not just for our own furtherance or good care but that of the planet.

We are the voice of the planet, for better or worse, you all have heard me say, and what is meant when we say, 'we are the voice of the Dharma.' Indeed we are the voice of the planet. It's incumbent for us to wake up then and to be a respectful voice... a compassionate voice... a caring voice."

Genjo Osho, goes on to expand much more deeply and perhaps in surprising directions on "The Whole Body," and what it means to train in Zen Buddhism. What he says here, is so penetrating that it would be useless for me to say more, except to say I've listened to it a couple times to really let it seep in. The more and more I listen, the more I hear within It. You can as ever listen to the full teisho for free on Chobi-Ji Podcast or go to iTunes. I am sure you will benefit by listening and hearing.

May Your Life Go Well,

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Around the Edges

There are some times that I have done what I call, "Tinkering around the edges," when I needed to make some changes. It was me doing "just enough," to keep people off my back, get by and trick myself into thinking that I was actually doing something. It's akin to the time I asked my daughter to clean her bedroom. I had gone to check on her about an hour later to discover that the room was still a wreck and she was laying on the bed. When I asked her what she was doing, she said, "Strategizing how to clean my room." Talk about a Hallmark moment as a dad.

Anyone who has practiced Zazen for any period of time has been confronted with the "Tinkering around the edges," scenario. I can tell by my attention and focus (or lack thereof). When there's something that I am avoiding, my Zazen practice changes. I start having trouble staying in tune with my practice. I might start dozing off or falling asleep, have more pain in my knee than usual, my posture might be lacking, I am unable to maintain focus on my koan, I am much more easily distracted in my thoughts. I call this state "The Tar-Pit," because really change is going to be difficult to reach, cause I'm stuck.

This happening brings up a good point. Genjo Marinello Osho and Genko Blackman Ni-Osho constantly instruct, when practicing, "Don't hold anything back." In other words, give 100 percent, not 99.9 or not 100.5, just 100 percent. That is enough. Put another way, give of myself in such a way that I am not tinkering around the edges, get in the thick of things and be resolute!

When I am resolute and applying the spiritual principle of fortitude, I have the capacity to push a stone boulder up a hill. When harmonized with practice, it's like carrying a sword that can cut through anything. Forget that these moments are so few and far between. What matters is when we have the sword that we use it. There's no nibbling around the edges involved. There is only doing or not-doing and that we are decisive in the moment.

My closing thoughts are, if I settle for so-called "tinkering around the edges," I am settling for half a life. It's as though I am saying, I'd rather live as a ghost than be a full and complete "Human Being." That is a rather shallow form of existence for a life that is so rare and precious.

There is a part of a dedication in the Chobozenji Sutra Book that seems to fit extremely well here.

"Past, present, future,
All Buddhas, Bodhisattvas,
Ancestral Teachers, [All Patriarchs Dai Osho]
Let True Dharma Continue,
Universal Sangha Relations,
Become Complete."

In Gassho,

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Transcending the Crap

Early in my recovery process from addiction, I heard a person by the name of Mason D. share something which helped to transform how I saw myself and my life. He said, "Yes... addiction is indeed a physical disease. But it's something that is principally happening in my mind. The physical stuff is an outward manifestation of what's going on within the mind. It's based on a kind of self-obsession and self-centeredness that causes me to be overly attached to whatever I come in contact with. It doesn't matter if it's drugs, food, sex or whatever. Addiction is most a disease of lies and illusions that cause dis-ease in my life. If I want to get better, something in my mind is going to have to change, otherwise I'm gonna be a dog chasing my tail."

For me, dealing with self-obsession, self-centeredness and the corresponding results can be like trying to tightly hold on to a we bar of soap. It's impossible, ceaselessly slipping out of our hands. It's very easy to get down on ourselves, getting snagged in the drama of our day-to-day story-lines and ways that our pre-occupations hook us.

Some 22 years ago when I actually started to get better was when I decided (made an active choice) to stop beating up on myself so-much. I had to give myself a little breathing room. If I didn't, I was going to stay chaotic and not be of sound mind. The skill I had to build was to loosen my grip, picking up myself and challenges up gently. In an odd way I had to stop strangling myself with unrealistic ideas, thoughts and feelings about the way life ways "supposed," to be.

For me it definitely started out and to a large degree remains the principles embedded in the Twelve Steps. But as I have grown, it is also the Four Noble Truths, Eight Fold Path and my Buddhist Vows. What can also help to lossen our grip is "The Four Agreements," by Miguel Ruiz. It could be the "Five Secrets You Need to Discover Before You Die," by John Izzo. If you are of the mind you could examine "Become a Better You: 7 Keys to Improving Your Life Every Day," by Joel Osteen.

The practices and books I mentioned above, have helped me in some measure, large and small to change my mind and get me "unstuck," especially when I was feeling troubled and scared. Maybe better said, they've helped me to transcend some of the crap in my life. In the process of change the mind, the addiction is naturally dissolved and we experience genuine freedom.

Namaste'

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Everyday Life Zazen

The other day, a friend on twitter, Tom Otvos was asking me "What is your zazen routine?" My response was pretty specific. It factored around zazen in the morning, evening and kinhin (Walking meditation). That was one answer (the outer), but not the so-called "real" answer (the inner).

My actual Zazen schedule is "Every moment, every where, within This everyday life." For me Zazen is not a fixed place, location or thing (like a zafu). There is nothing which is not Zazen. Zen is vast which is why the practice itself is so expansive. The question that I usually find myself asking is, "Seiho, how is your practice going at This moment?"

The other day, Debra took he kids to the park. Once there, the kids discovered an "abandoned," kitten. Sometimes, it's in the nature of people to abandon animals that they think they cannot take care of. My oldest daughter called me, explaining the situation. She asked, "Can I bring her home and take care of her?" Instantly I saw her expressed compassion, no effort or thinking was involved. She had an intuitive feeling to help the kitten (Hazel). Sometimes, it's in the nature of human beings to save beings that have been left behind.

It's the quality of our "Everyday life zazen" practice, that determines if it is the one who would "abandon" or the one who will "save" that will appear. This is were things can get interesting.

As much as I would like to be able to say that I am the one who always would save, I'd be lying. Sometimes I have been the one to abandon. There have been moments that I had given up on something or someone. It was because I lost my sense of hope, thought the thing was too hard, or I lacked certain qualities or capacities. For those who would be able to understand, I could not sense my connection to Buddha Nature, Mu, Higher Power, or whatever you want to call It. When I am not experiencing that connection, all kinds of things can be abandoned.

My teacher, Genjo Marinello Osho many times has used the expression "Open-Hearted practice of the Way." It seems like such a nice sentiment and yet it means the totality of the universe, seen and unseen. And when I am in some small measure (even if only one percent) synced-up with "Open-Hearted practice of the Way," all of the sudden, options and opportunities appear right in front of my face, that I was not able to see or notice, before. It's like a path was cleared of wreckage. That's when I can go beyond helping myself and agreeing to accept a little kitten into our home.

So I return to the original question. "What is your Zazen practice schedule?" And again I answer, every moment, every where, the same as You. In This Way, there is no gap, distance or time between so-called "You and I." This is the nature of Everyday Life Zazen.

In Gassho,

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Five Points To Live Happily

I received a letter on Saturday from Dai Bosatsu Zendo, Kongoji. When I opened the letter, a card fell out. Picking it up, I saw that it had pointers written on it. I thought it might be nice to share it with you. It read...

FIVE POINTS TO LIVE HAPPILY

1. Know that after all, LIFE IS SIMPLE. Do not complicate it.
2. Be generous in your thoughts, deeds and things.
3. Remember that things go according to your karma- whether you like it or not.
4. Humbly obey the law of the Universe (TAO)
5. Be positive under any circumstances.

Eido Shimano Roshi, Abbot
THE ZEN STUDIES SOCIETY

I hope that you find Roshi's pointers useful. They can make a difference, it we allow for it.

Namaste'

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

I Will Not Pretend

In Zen circles, there's a well known story related to Soen Nakagawa Zenji. He had been wearing a traditional Japanese mask, doing something of a kind of acting with friends. At one point in the exchange he removed it, looking clearly at the audience and stated, "I have taken my mask, now You take off Yours."

As it turns out, we all have a mask or personality that we wear. Personalities root word is "persona," which means "Mask," in Latin is "The acted portrayal of someone." It can be valuable to remember that.

Who is that someone that we are portraying? Is it my authentic self or am I pretending to be something I'm not. Are we even aware of when we are making or disguising our so-called "True-self?" It looks simple on the surface, but once we dive beneath the surface, the question can look entirely different, as the kitten turns into a tiger. There's a lot of stuff under that mask. There's a way we can hold ourselves out to self and others, that doesn't reveal the so-called "True," inner state of our being-ness.

This is perhaps why we have our spiritual practice, so that we can authentic ourselves and Wake-up! Once awake, we don't have to live like a ghost. We can recognize and fully enjoy This life.

Over the past year or two, I have made a serious full-court-press with myself, to be who I say that I am. I stopped nibbling around the edges of my life. Mediocrity was getting old. There has been the closing of doors and the opening of new ones. Not every moment has been graceful, but every moment has been only as I've made it (being real or pretend). I really do enjoy the authentic and real. It can be tough to take responsibility for that, but if I genuinely want to "Unify my heart," and stop being a "ghost," that is moving among the living, then I am going to have to go through some grinds with myself.

A small but honest example of this is the other day, I received a "friend-request," from someone who's on facebook. We I saw the request, I was more than a little surprised. I know enough of this person to be aware that in the environment that he normally encounters me in, he has a pretty strong disdain for me. This isn't just based on observations, but in addition to the many stories that I've been told by others of what he has said about me.

Two or three years ago, the approval seeking, co-dependent, foolish me would have accepted the request. Today, I see no point. In Japanese and Chinese art, space is something that is valued. Remembering this, I was authentic and my true self. I said, "no, I won't pretend."

If we are to experience This life as it is, the masks really do have to go. The alternative is to live in a world and land of make-believe... pretending... just pretending away our lives. If we do that, what a waste, especially since our life is so precious and special.

May Your Life Go Well,

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

In Our Wake

Having listened to Genjo Marinello Osho's teisho that I talked about yesterday, "Three Disabilities," I've been sitting a lot with something he talked about. To paraphrase, he talked about having the ability to note the quality of our practice, based on the trail or "Wake," that we leave behind us, much like that of a boat as it moves through the water.

When I look back over my shoulder, to see the path that I have worn in my life, I've been noticing not only what it "looks" like, but what it "feels" like too. Yesterday, after each interaction, I would ask myself, "What did I leave in my wake?" Was it that I was genuinely helpful and compassionate or was it disjointed and a cause for frustration? Personally I didn't always like the answer, but as Genjo Osho stated, at least I know there is "room for improvement... always."

Speaking of yesterday, I noticed one particular interaction that I had a lot of dissatisfaction with. Part of what caused what I'd call an "ugly" wake was, there was too much background chatter. Instead of being able to do one thing really well, it was like there was 6 to 7 things going on in the same moment. Because of this, it made it more difficult to demonstrate a particular tool that we are shifting the person too. The result was a transfer of information that was repeatedly interrupted. The person clearly didn't connect with the significance of what was being done and seemed irritated though-out the process. It's a hazard of working in such a busy environment. But despite the "busy-ness," I need to seek a way to smooth out the so-called "wake," that I leave behind. This is not any easy task.

Beyond seeing what is left in our "Wake," Genjo Osho also mentioned that there is a point we can come to in our Zen practice wherein "We leave no trace, no wake." I thought, "Wow. How do we become that, with any regularity?" The answer is simple, and hard as we chose to make it. It comes down to what I call "Ceaseless harmonization with The Way." It's like two very good dancers. There is such synchrony that no division can be distinguished in what is seen or felt. It is perfectly seamless, perfectly intimate and the net result is that there is no trace to be seen or felt.

Getting to that place of leaving no trace, takes energy, effort, dedication, determination, patience, study and time. Many elements or pieces that are working well, together. And while some books can help to guide us, ultimately the hands have to get dirty. It can only be earned and not given.

We have to BE the practice. Instead of reading about someone's experience, we must gain our own knowing of what Genjo Osho and so many other Zen masters before have demonstrated. It's in this knowing that we can then leave a wake of wholeness, kindness and compassion which eventually though the readiness of time becomes "wake-less" and "traceless."

Namaste'

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Piercing and Breaking Through Our Disabilities

Genjo Marinello, Osho of Cho Bo Zen Ji recently released a new Teisho, called Gensha Three Disabilities. Listening it really opened my mind and heart.

What I really took to heart was when he stated, "In the coarse of our unfolding and development, we must penetrate and break through repeatedly. This is not true just for Zen masters, but all of us as we face our trials and tribulations of just living This life. If we don't penetrate and break though then we are not changing. And if we are not changing and the world around us is changing, and our body is changing and everything is impermanent and we're not changing, in other words we're not we're not piercing and breaking through... kind of regularly... then we are really falling behind and getting stuck in earlier phases of our life, while life is going on.

We don't just arrive in adulthood at twenty-one and we're done with our maturation. Hardly! As eveyrone in this room knows, there are so many lessons to be learned... absorbed... integrated and implemented."

Opening the window mentally to just these few sentences, the view can be quite vast. But that is only if I allow myself to see. I'm attempt to mindfully remember that when I am engaged in a mental and emotional struggle, it is often I who am the barrier. That means that I have to regularly work at putting aside the so-called "baggage," that I carry, so that I can see and feel what Genjo Osho is expressing here, so open-heartedly.

I suggest that you listen to the entire Teisho. It's nice that something so beautiful can be Free. You can listen on the web here at the Cho Bo Zen Ji Podcast at Libsyn. Just click on the first one that says "Three Disabilities," or here is the direct link. Your other option is to listen on iTunes. either way both locations are Free.

In Gassho,

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

A Healthier State of Mind

In our life, we can face some really tough challenges. Personally I could even re-define some of my challenges as hardships or problems, because some seem so difficult and protracted, in certain instances. It's ridiculously easy for my attention to get hooked and sucked in to the drama, events and the story-lines. The net result of living in that "frame-of-mind," is that I'm absorbed and consumed by the problems and not the solutions. And by living in that state, things will not get better. In fact things can get worse.

To cultivate a "Healthier state of mind," there are some things that I do, that enable me to be my friend instead of my foe. I wanted to share a couple of them with you, because they just might useful food for thought.

1. Change the channel. When I experience negative emotions, reactions, thoughts - I've noticed that it's almost like my brain is tuned in to a specific channel. The way I change the mental channel is by listening to positive podcasts and audio books. It might be my teacher Genjo Marinello Osho, Thich Nhat Hanh, Pema Chodron, Guy Finley, Wayne Dyer, Joel Osteen, John Izzo and the like. Hearing information expressed in caring and compassionate way, can drive a wedge between me and the negative thinking.


2. Walk away from people who mean to harm and not to help you physically and/or emotionally. Staying only undermines self-esteem. Please don't mistake this for have challenges in a relationship with spouse, significant other, friend or co-worker and issues need o be worked through. Though times can be difficult, working things through is an important part of growth.
   


3. Do Something. A lot of times, when I take a walk or ride my bike around the park, it helps my mind to relax and let go a little, as I focus not on problems but my breathing. Sometimes I take my iPod with me. Music can help me write a new narrative for myself.


4. Zazen. did I even mention how much I like Zazen? On a serious note, Zazen means "to sit in unification." When I sit with a problem I do one of three things. A) Work on my koan. B) Count the breath. C) I use a visualization wherein I see my body as a mountain, my breath is the breeze or wind and my mind is like the open blue sky. The length's of my ssits can vary greatly In the morning I usually sit longer 30-45 minutes and in the evening 20 minutes.
   


5. Refrain from stress eating. Oddly enough, this is one of the hardest things for me. When I'm stressed out, I tend to eat at my problems. When successful, it's usually that I did something like cleaning around the house, got outside and focused my mind on some activity.


6. Connect with others on the path. While I'm always aware that there are some negative people who won't be helpful to me. On the other side of the coin there are people who can provide help and support. I don't shy-away from them, because I am often encouraged and strengthened by the associations.

In bringing myself towards a "Healthier state of Mind," there's no magic bullet in re-framing our mind and our life. It's a kind of jigsaw puzzle that has to be put together, to make a seamless and cohesive whole. These measure have worked for me time and again, including today. If you are having a moment of struggle in some area of your life, know that you are not alone. We can grow and become healthy minded together, by staying our experience, strength and hope.

May Your Life Go Well,

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Young Buddha's are Crossing a Bridge

This evening, my family and I will be attending my 13 year old daughters, "Bridging Over," ceremony at the High School. It's something of a milestone and accomplishment, wherein she clearly moves from one chapter of her life to the next. It's a little shocking that this moment is here so quickly.

It's very hard not to look back and examine the trajectory that her life has taken since her birth. There have been some very interesting moments. When it all started, I just had the thought her first day of school, "I wonder how she will pick up on the things they'll be teaching her." Initially I didn't consider her making new friends, socializing, birthday party invites, having the so-called "right" clothes and hair, music practice, essay presentations, counting sick days for school, Delaware State Testing Programs, sports, having to deal with other parents, chaperoning on field-trips, kids over the house taking over the TV's with video game consoles, mall trips, sleep overs and figuring out how not to be so old-fashioned or nerdy that it doesn't impact on her social life.

As a father, it has been a phenomenal learning experience. It's one very big koan. If I was able to have one "Super Power," as a parent it would have to be clairvoyance. I'd love to know the outcome of the choices that I make in regard to both my daughters. As parents we really, really, really want things to turn our "Right," for our kids. That's my greatest hope.

I can't help thinking that it only seemed like a moment ago, when I was holding her for the first time. To say that time moves quickly is an understatement. This moment is a strong reminder to make everything that we do count.

So tonight with her friends that she spends far more time with, than her mother and I, she will literally and figuratively cross over a bridge. We will stand and watch, taking pictures to remember the moment. This date, time, place and event will only happen for she and her friends only once and will be deeply appreciated. But if you asked me what I will be thinking when it occurs, knowing myself as I do, I will be thinking, "Young Buddha's are crossing a bridge. I hope they are enjoying the journey."

Namaste'

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Changing Over Time

When it comes to making changes in my life, I have to admit that I'm not always as decisive as I would like to be, on certain things. Usually the biggest barrier or what can separate me from my commitment to make certain changes is "Doubt," which expresses itself as uncertainty and/or fear."

Any one of those three things can become a wedge and barrier to change. For myself, I have to be mindful to work/live through them. Otherwise I tend to give up on my commitments no matter how big or small. It's for that reason that just like some people condition themselves by training and running, I condition myself through the practice of Zen. It allows me to notice and discover the tools and capacities that I have within, so that I can face my dark corners, cut through and dissolve them.

I may have to come back to a particular challenge or problem 10, 20 or 50 times, not being fully successful in making changes and improving upon myself or situation. Just because I didn't get it the other 50 times is not a reason to give up and say, "I can't change." As Tony Robin's says, "The past does not equal the future." I have to be observant, build my internal motivation for change, get leverage with myself, be observant and use any opportunity to make progress on improving myself and my life in a positive way. It can be difficult, but it's not as complex as I usually make it out to be in my mind.

In conditioning mentally, emotionally and spiritually through Zen training, I usually improve my skills and understanding of myself, "challenges" and "problems." The real key is not giving up on the practice itself. As long as we have that, there is the possibility for hope, change and growth. it's my life-line. This has been a vital truth for me that has served me well in the short-term, but more so the long-term.

Namaste'

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Energy and Time

Some may be surprised to know that the term "Kung Fu," doesn't mean "martial art" or "fighting." Properly translated it means, "Energy and Time," and with those two elements all things are possible, as with apply them to our life.

As most of you are probably aware by now, David Carradine transitioned yesterday. Though to some he was a "TV Character," he actually was my introduction to Buddhist thinking and being. It was a weekly show that consistently demonstrated the practical application of Buddhist principles, in day-to-day life. He regularly showed how with "Energy and Time," we could cut through and solve our problems. That's what the story was about.

Here's just one exchange between The Master and Student characters that's worth noting:

Young Caine: You cannot see.
Master Po: You think I cannot see?
Young Caine: Of all things, to live in darkness must be worst.
Master Po: Fear is the only darkness.

Elegant and true. There are times that I can personally recall being so fearful and anxiety ridden by situations I was facing that I was blinded (mentally) and could not see or notice options, solutions or exits, to what I was facing. But watching Carradine each week, I got a sense of human being faced with difficult challenges and finding a principle centered, character driven way of cutting through them. It was nothing short of amazing to me. It was great story-telling.

Perhaps not so well know is the fact that David Carradine was in a movie called, "Circle of Iron," which was written by Bruce Lee. The story focused on "Cord," (A seeker) the central character facing a series of physical and mental challenges which if he was successful would be granted access to look at "The Book," which would grant perfect enlightenment for those who read it. David Carradine is a kind of mentor. His character doesn't even have a name (interestingly enough).

Eventually, with some nudging and encouragement Cord reaches the book. When he looks inside, every page contains a large mirror, wherein as he turns each page, he clearly see's the reflection of himself. He laughs and understands, "There's no enlightenment outside of myself. It's within and connected to every single thing in this universe."

Those are good memories for me. I liked and enjoyed those characters a lot. The location that I place him within my mind is one of fondness. The unique wave of his life has been fully absorbed into the larger ocean of Being. In closing.

I feel that David Carradine's own words would be best to end this post today. It is attesting to what he attained through "Energy and Time."

"If you cannot be a poet, be the poem." David Carradine 1936-2009


Rest Well in the Dharma,

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Start to Finish

Yesterday I was covering for someone at the office. As I was going through some of the paperwork, I noticed a term that I've seen plenty of times before. "Did-Not-Complete Referred." In Substance abuse treatment, it's kind of like doing heart surgery on someone, who gets up in the middle of the operation and then walks out. The prognosis (outcome) is usually never good. drug/alcohol addiction is a very tough disease to manage. As a recovering addict myself, I know we can be big starters, but not big finishers, in the things we need to get done for our healing.

When I woke up this morning, I remembered when I was working for a company about 14 years ago, I was promoted to Program Director. I said to the owner of the company, "In all honesty, I think __________ would probably do a better job for you. While I may have the knowledge and skills set, I don't have as much experience." His response caught me off guard. He looked me in the eyes and said, "I can't think of a single thing ________________ has ever finished. While he is a great starter, ___________'s not a finisher. When I give you a project, it always gets done. Experience that you lack can be gained, but the trait to finish what you start is about the character of the person. I trust you, to do this. Thanks and goodbye." And without any other words, he walked away.

While I tend to say and live by the rule "It's a process not an event," there are tasks in a given process that can be brought to completion. It's like my daughter graduating from Middle School and entering High School. Education is a life long process, but there are those events where we reflect on accomplishments and recognize them, before moving on to the next phase. This is important for us mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

Thinking about those words on the paperwork, "Did-not-complete referred," I thought "Referred to where?" In fact for the projects and goals, both Personal and professional, when they don't get completed, where do I refer them too? I need to take a look at that.

Usually when I don't finish what I start, it's usually because of fear, doubt or I lost my fire for the project/goal. When that happens I am the ninja of complacency and procrastination. That's when I look and revalue the task or goal, formally cutting it loose (and letting everybody know), or resetting and revising my plan to bring it to completion.

The last two things for today. One is if you are not a finisher, become one. It could help your sense of self-worth and improve your self-esteem. Two there are some good resource people and sites out there. One I personally like reading is the Zen Habits blog with Leo Babauta, focusing on "Zen-To-Done." I also like David Allen and his "Getting Things Done" approach. He really does have a Zen mind about thing, not to mention Zen experience.

In mutual support we can pick one item, give it our attention and finish it, instead of letting it linger. It doesn't have to be something massive. It just needs to get done.

You can follow all three of us on Twitter. Zenhabits, GTDguy and me as digitalzendo.

Namaste'

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Outside the Comfort Zone

At times, it feels or seems like circumstances are attempting to push me out of my comfort zone. This is a fact, in the wake of so many things that flow outside the storyline and narrative, that I have created for myself. And it's those things that can and do, produce an emotional and/or psychological discomfort at times, as I notice and sense the mismatch between what I envisioned and the actual situations unfolding in front of me.

In my Zen practice, I have been working on not getting so caught up and hooked by my our story-lines or BS. For me it has been a process of notice and release, notice and release, notice and release. Though it sounds like an easy process, it's not. While I often find myself noticing, the so-called "releasing," of the story-line is a completely different issue.

The story-lines that I carry or hold within me, are so personal. They are my hopes, dreams, goals and struggles. Saying to myself, okay Seiho release it can bring up quite a few feelings, because I've become addicted to a few of them. Letting go can be a lot like a drug addict going through withdrawal. It's like I say to myself, I know I need to let this story-line go, being able to do it for about 3 or 4 days and then returning to it, because of not know how to effectively harmonize with external and internal circumstances and events.

So what am I to do? As Dogen Zenji said, "Study the Self." I make the effort to forget the Self created Story-lines, train, practice Zazen, listen, act, step into my heart, attempting to remember that as much as I may choose my life, Life chooses me as well. As I work with myself, I like to remind myself that it's a process and not an event. Change is not as graceful as I'd like it to be.

If I want to be fully alive, then there is no other choice than to move out of my self-constructed comfort zones. I need to experience what is outside the comfortable ruts that I've made for myself and life. It's the only way I can grow, beyond my self imposed limitations. I'm motivated by the fact that when I get outside my so-called "Comfort Zone," there is True freedom.

May Your Life Go Well,

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Hearing or Listening, What's the Difference?

For me, there's a wide gulf between hearing and listening. Hearing can be impersonal. It's usually hearing and collecting information, frequently coming back with a sort of yes or no. I have found that "hearing," also lends itself to being rather judgmental. It can been analytical process that is looking for the error, the flaw, the discrepancy. In the end hearing has the capacity to create gaps and keep people, places and things at a distance. It's because we are picking people and/or situations apart.

In my experience "Listening," has a much more intimate connotation. Listening happens with our entire being, seeking to make a deep connection and understanding wherein there is no gap or distance. It's also possible that there is no sense of even time itself. It is looking and feeling between the lines. It can be gray, not just black and white.

What determines if I am "Listening," or "Hearing," is the attitude I am embracing at the given moment. And that is where the work happens for me. If I'm in a state where I am self-absorbed, distracted, have my thinking fixed on a particular thing, it can be extremely difficult to break-through the moment and listen.

One of my friends named Tony is famous for telling people (including himself), "Get over yourself." It's his way of saying, "Wake-up and pay attention! Are you present? Are you with the moment that's happening right now or are you somewhere else? Show up for the moment." And being a so-called "Good-listener," is about having the capacity to be in the present moment, get out of my head, get over myself and into my heart-of-being. It's then that everything can be available and open.

Genjo Marinello Osho once said, "All the pieces are on the table," [waiting for us to put them together]. Maybe it would be good to note here that "Cho Bo Zen Ji," the temple that I visit and train at translates as "Listening to the Dharma Zen Temple." I don't think that finding a (spiritual and emotional) home there is a coincidence.

Mindful Zen practice helps to prepare the ground, laying a foundation so that We can move from hearing to listening, having connected those pieces. It's not intellectual. Real "Listening," is intuitive, interconnected, synthesizing, nonlinear, nonsequential and is paradoxically non or pre-verbal. In other words, very "Right-Brain." I find it fortunate that we have a life and body that is fully designed to listen as opposed to just hearing.

Namaste',

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

F.E.A.R.

The other day, I was doing Zazen when a series of memories surfaced. It caught me off-guard, one because of their intensity and two because I didn't know how to react in a way that was helpful to myself... initially. That happens and it's all a part of the process.

For me what had seemed to compound or worsen the problem is that I mistakenly asked, "Why?" After talking with someone extremely close to me, he said, "Those kind of questions can never be answered." In fact they can create such a distraction that it actually interferes with my life on and off the meditation cushion, as I chase after such thoughts. Why questions can be (extremely) counter productive.

There's an acronym that I like that I call "F.E.A.R.," which means "False Evidence Appearing Real." Though we can stare something right in the face, it's possible to look and then we see something but in truth not know what it for what it is or is-not. But despite this not knowing, sometimes convince ourselves that we do.

Instead of asking "why," which then opens me to an emotional "bear-trap," the more helpful question for me is, "having had a specific set out experiences, how do I live forward in a healthy way, as opposed to living backwards, in an unhealthy way?" The reason I say this question is helpful is that he challenges me to squarely be in this present moment, this now and not some other where or when. What was it the Ram Dass based a lot of his life on? "Be Here Now."

The moment I was able to lock on to bringing my mind to the present, the "why" certain things happened became much smaller, more manageable and actually in one sense dissolved. And with that came a great relief as the painful feelings that I was having dissipated. I actually found myself saying, "The only time is Now," and could smile.

Last night and this morning when I did Zazen, I focused my mind squarely upon the practice my teacher had given me. When my mind wanted to "space out," think about things, go into planning mode or I got a little sleepy, I adjusting my gaze and came directly back to my practice and this moment. And as I did this, I felt better and more solid (physically, mentally and spiritually). I had regained my rudder, not allowing myself to be distracted by the mental chatter that's always there to throw us off track and take us off-coarse.

When I give into "F.E.A.R... false evidence appearing real," I will be stuck in physical, mental and emotional quicksand. This is a fact. And to me that is a kind of moving prison that we can take with us where-ever we go which can put a wall between us This present moment. I feel like that's the exact opposite of what our life is about.

May Your Life Go (Really) Well,

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO