Zen Is Medicine

"We have all the medicine that we need," were the words floating on the surface of my mind, as I awoke this morning. It was followed a few moments later with the question, "Do I really believe that?" Instantly a response emerged, "Yes, without pause."

As I continue to make a study of Genjo Marinello Osho's recent teisho, "Three Turning Words," I heard him softly saying, "We stop straining and really let go... This... Is... It... This... Is... It... We realize [we've] always been It. Couldn't be anything but It, and It's so alive. It doesn't have to be animate or inanimate. It's so alive... It's so rich... It's so pure... It's so simple... It's so real..." It's the ground of being from which our very life springs. It's perfect, without hesitation or pause.

There's a healing that needs to take place for each of us. Some notice that we've been wounded (with ego) and others don't even vaguely notice. It's largely caused by defense mechanisms, causing us to miss what is in plain sight.

Zen... The Way of Unification is medicine. Zen re-introduces us to our fundamental and essential seamlessness that is the fabric of our Being. And in This moment of seamless Being, there's no sickness, old age, death and no suffering. Just This... uninterrupted... unimpeded... Being.

At times, when I've been with Genjo Osho, I've felt his Mind was saying, "Seiho! Why are you zig-zagging, when You could go straight ahead. Do You not see, there is no barrier which is in Your way, other than your disoriented and distracted Mind? Take Your medicine and please sit some more."

Zen is Medicine. Please don't take my word for it. Painted cakes never satisfy those who are starving. Practice zazen and try This medicine for Yourself. Let us know the results.

Yours In Zen,

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
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How Will We Respond?

Lat night, as I sleep, my mind kept returning to something my teacher, Genjo Marinello Osho has said. It was the words, "Clay Buddha's cannot pass through water." It became something of a mantra, within my mind.

This morning as I sat in Zazen, I clearly remembered a specific part of the teisho, "Three Turning Words," given by Genjo Osho. He had said, "We must dissolve completely and yet we are so attached to our ideas... the practice... the form or Mu... or Buddha... or Dharma... or Tao... or [the notion] our own effort will save us... or our own idea of self. We cling to it so tenaciously.

How can I save myself? you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't. you can't save personality. you can't save this body. you can't save your conceptualization of Tao or Dharma or Buddha nature or God or Spirit or ground of Being. Nothing can save us. One of the first things that we realize when we sit is that we are just clay Buddha's. And if we can really realize that completely, then the divine light illuminates Heaven and Earth. That's It! All done! Dissolve completely! The entire instruction manual can be summarized as dissolve completely! Let it all go! Then we're free to make use of each breath, each step, each action... Whole heartedly, with an unfeaful caring attitude, without concern for right or wrong or better or worse future or past... all we have to do is dissolve completely."

In the past, I found myself, always seeking out the right or perfect answer to situations. It was all over my life. It was with my Zen practice... my family... my work... friends... After a time, I realized that there wasn't any so-called "perfect" or "grand" answers. There's just been being propelled forward by a motivation and intention. There is just unifying and being fully engaged in the moment.

I've been encouraged by my teacher to make everything a source of teaching and learning. To do that, I have to be able to drop and dissolve the "baggage," that lives within my mind. That can be extremely tough.

How will I handle and respond to requests, throughout the day? How will I respond when the phone rings? How will I respond when I'm feeling the frustration? How will I respond when I feel like my time is being wasted? How will I communicate, when it seems like people aren't listening? How will I respond when I'm cut-off in traffic or someone swipes my parking space? How will I respond when I look into the faces of my kids, knowing on one clear and distinct level that someday my life will end and I will be separated from knowing them as I know them now?

If we untie a balloon filled with air, it will naturally release and empty. If we remove the cap from a bottle of water and turn it upside down, it will naturally drain, completely. If we put a clay Buddha is a pool or water, it will naturally dissolve, leaving no trace of the prior form. If we sit in Zazen, overtime the ego will dissipate like fog evaporates under the light and temperature of the sunlight. And that's the moment we are fully being the so-called, "Truth."

When we reach that moment, will we need a right answer then? When we reach the point of dissolving, how will we respond to situations that baffle us? If we practice the Way of Zen, we can surely know.

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
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The Obstructions

Daily, it can be pretty easy to be aware or notice "obstructions." It's the obstructions that can cause use to feel limited, out of sync and in some instances even a little scared or nervous.

The notion of obstructions are best exemplified in the famous story of Hui Neng, the Sixth Zen Patriarch of China. At one point Hung-jen, The Fifth Zen Patriarch challenged his students, to present their understanding of Awakened Mind, in the form of a poem. The only one to write one initially was the head monk. His poem read:

"The body is the Bondhi tree,
The mind is like a clear mirror.
At all times we must strive to polish it.
And must not let the dust collect."

All were impressed by these words except one. Hui Neng, the illiterate kitchen attendant. Hui Neng, hearing this poem asked someone to write a poem from him. It read:

"Originally there is no tree of enlightnment,
Nor is there a stand with a clear mirror.
From the beginning not one thing exists;
Where, then, is a grain of dust to cling?."

In other words what Hui Neng was essentially saying was, "No obstructions! no barriers!" And yet despite this expansive truth, there are indeed wall, barriers and every manner of obstruction that You can think of in this world. Yesterday I read a New York Times article saying that there are over 14.5 million people who are unemployed and only 2.4 million jobs available. It would definitely seem like there are obstructions. And behind each obstruction is suffering not just for those individuals but us too. We're all interconnected.

Where are the obstructions coming from? How could Hui Neng possibly have been correct in his expression of Zen? It seems very much a contradiction, given that at this time in our history, so many are struggling simply to survive.

It's our day-to-day practice of unifying the mind that will help us to see past the smoke and mirrors of obstruction and notice what is really real. In fact we have the capacity to help each other see and know the truth. At this very moment there is Autumn Sesshin at Dai Bai Zan, Cho Bo Zen Ji, in Seattle. They are sitting not just for themselves, but for All sentient being. I know this to be a fact. There are many other places that sit Zazen, not only for themselves, but everyone too. Why? That seems a little grandiose and impossible. There's too much going wrong in the world. And I would respond, How can we not? So many, including myself need help in dissolving the fog of obstruction.

Zen is very easy. It's the mind weighed down that's difficult. If you are drowning in deep water, because you are being dragged down by concrete blocks tied to your waist, Zen says, "Here's a knife, cut free of what is obstructing and limiting You. Go free!" That's what's really happening on and off the Zafu, as we apply our practice. Releasing and letting go of the obstructions.

Today is Monday. Make of it what we will. We are influencing and creating our moments. Better that we take responsibility for that.

Yours In Zen,

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
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Keep Your Appointment

Zen Master Sheng Yen once wrote, "In Chinese the sentence 'Better to unify the mind' can be translated as 'Guard the One'. What is this one? The mind can be split up, discriminating, filled with illusory intellectualizing. The mind needs to be focused, brought to a single point. Guarding the one means bringing the mind to this single place, and that is done through the method of practice (Zen Meditation)."

Last night, I was looking at a project my mom put together from the family reunion that was held back in July. As I looked at all the pictures, especially those of my Dad, I was literally asking "Who is the one that was captured in those pictures? Where is he now?" The questions were more reflex than anything thing else. Birds naturally learn how to fly, people naturally learn how to walk, the sun all by itself knows how to shine. There's no trouble at all.

Though, there were a lot of problems, especially after his stroke and the drinking took over, there was a, "Without pause I still Love him very much," feeling. None of us are as graceful as we'd like to be. We are who we are. If I look at things from a particular angle, everyone is doing the very best they can at any given moment. Sometimes, there's just turbulence.

Over the years, as I've endeavored to answer or better understand certain (nagging) feelings or questions, I've learned there's no substitute for Zen practice. While it's almost near impossible to "think," our way into fully awakening the Mind, we can certainly practice and live our way into It. Diligence is a valuable trait to own, when it comes to this. Just not giving up 5 minutes before the miracle happens. Practice, practice, practice, practice, practice everyday. Otherwise, we may get the opportunity to stay in peoples that we might not prefer.

Practice enables us to "Guard the One," our True nature and person without rank or post. I hope you can clearly hear those words, "The person who has no rank or post," I really mean that. Sit after sit... breath after breath. Our mind really does need to be focused. As the adage goes, we spend to much time majoring in minor things, disconnected from our genuine purpose. Though we may not always know where we are, our Buddha nature does. We have an appointment to keep. Please show up for It.

Practice Well,

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
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Dissolving Depression

Lately, people have been mentioning to me that on some level they've been "Depressed." One friend called me last evening saying, "A need for change came up. I don't go along with it very well. I skidded out emotionally and as the skid got worse, I isolated more. Probably making the depression worse, I stopped sitting. When I saw You the other day, I realized if I was going to get out of my black-hole, I was going to have to reach out and so I am."

Another friend said, "I think in our society, we aren't honest enough about how often depression occurs. It happens and we just kinda fake it or try to ignore it, pretending its either not there or not as bad as we think it is."

I could relate to them and others who had been telling me about their depression. On Sunday, my mind started replaying certain tapes about some things that I wasn't liking and had been going on. As the tape played through my mind, I felt more and more compressed. I was feeling small and powerless. At one point I tweeted, "I've recognized that my mind can enter a state of "Hell" or "depression," by feeling small, helpless and alone." I was being honest, with myself and others. That's when I decided to cut the mental video playback and insert something else.

It's here that I need to point out that, "Depression" isn't just in the mind. Depression can fill and flood the body too. Our speech changes. Our posture weakens. We hold our head down. We may find it difficult to look people in the eyes. We move more slowly. We physically isolate ourselves from others. I've even had people tell me that their depression is so powerful, they have difficulty getting out of bed.

What I inserted after pulling out the old mental tape was the practice of Samu (Mindful work practice), in the yard. I got out of myself by taking care of something else. In taking care of my yard, my mind naturally expanded instead of narrowing, closing off and isolating, which is what normally happens when we get depressed. I was living my way, into a new way of thinking. It's simple but effective.

My yard was saying to me, "Thanks for showing up. You've been neglecting me. I need some weeds pulled, mowing and raking. And while you're at it, can you edge the grass around the sidewalk and trim the bushes?" It was all there, all I had to do was look. During that time, I remembered something Shunryu Suzuki Roshi had once said. "Despite our preferences, flowers wilt and weeds grow." It was making perfect sense.

By the time I completed my tasks, the light was fading from the sky, but not in my heart. I was feeling better. It was feeling the definition of Zen. The mind was unifying. It was healing. I was not longer feeling compressed and small. My mind could feel the vastness, as the wind brushed my face. This episode with the depression had dissolved and everything was a-okay.

Zen frequently calls us to do things that may initially seem counter-intuitive. That feeling of being counter-intuitive is systematic of having deeply embedded patterns and habits. When we don't give up, we can build new mental connections, dissolve the discomfort of changing how we deal with ourselves, changing our heart and mind. In doing so we open ourselves to the opportunity of living better.

In Genjo Marinello Osho's recent teisho, "Three Turning Words," he clearly and directly says, "All the manuals [and books] on Zen practice can be summarized in two words. Completely dissolve!" We can completely dissolve depression. Just practice the path and don't hold anything back. If we do that, with effort, friendliness towards ourselves and support of others, over time, the depression can and will melt. Just don't give up.

In Gassho,

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
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The Prayers

A long time ago, I struggled with the word "Prayer." Having grown up Catholic, I had a lot of time to consider what it meant for me. With a negative mind, I looked at it as being at a point of desperation and a kind of failure. It was a kind of mental or psychological weakness. At 20 years old, I had figured, if you had to ask God for help when you obviously needed it, then he was pretty cruel. Because of that line of thinking, I had nothing but contempt for the word.

At 21 and arriving in a 12 Step fellowship, related to addiction, the word "Prayer," came up a lot. I talked to a friend Blyth about it and told him, "I have no faith, in what I cannot see. I don't get it. Prayer seems a weak fallback position, but for some reason I feel something about it so I'm asking You." Blyth replied, "I feel prayer isn't such a bad thing. Prayer is like reaching your mind out, not just to a specific Higher Power per se' but people and life as well. Prayer is remembering a connection we have with all things. There is another aspect of prayer too that we can focus on. If You pray, sending positive intentions and hope towards someone or something you're struggling with, though that person, place or thing might not change, maybe your attitude will."

When Blyth put it in that context, it somehow connected. I was able to relax my mind.

There was a time when I was really mad at my father, because of some tough things that happened when I was growing up. I really hated and despised him, because he was such an abusive alcoholic. He could be an impressively cruel person. The thought of even talking with him could send me into an emotional spiral. At one point, Blyth told me to take a minute or two and pray for him, every day, for two weeks. Because I came to trust Blyth, I followed the instruction.

At the end of the two weeks, my father had changed, because how I thought and felt about him changed. Where before, I was really hard and stiff in dealing with him, the positive intentions within the prayers softened not just my heart but my mind. As I was trying to free him from a kind of prison that he lived in, I was freeing myself too.

Through the positive intentions within saying prayers or chants, my mind was finding a little more harmony and unification.

Nowaways when I reach the end of Zazen sitting peroid, I place my hands in gassho and make a prayer. I've learned to dedicate any merit from that sitting to all beings. Any strain, anxiety, anger or other types of suffering that they may be experiencing, I ask that it be relieved and I visualize kindness and compassion radiating out like water, washing over all being. I have no empirical data citing that my prayers and intentions help anyone, but I like to feel that it is so. Perhaps that reflects the Bodhisattva Mind that we all have. What was once narrow, was made vast through our prayer.

May Your Life Go Well,

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
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People Can Be Crazy

A friend once told me, "Guilt works on everyone that doesn't really need it. For those who could use it to moderate their behavior, it doesn't even make a dent." True.

There's a fact that can be useful to us, as we live our lives. Sometimes people are crazy. We've all had our moments where out thoughts, feelings and behaviors don't match up to the external circumstances that we find ourselves in. We can sometimes do the exact opposite of what's needed to help others and ourselves. Because people can be crazy, off base, not of sound mind and inconsistent, we have to be careful not to carry other people's non-sense.

Last week, someone took something I said and ran with it, magnifying and exaggerating the words, beyond all recognition. Once I noticed what was happening and saw they were lunging at me psychologically, I decided not to react in the same way. I went quiet. As I got quieter, they actually got louder. Despite this effort, they continued to escalate even more and I thought, "Wow, this can't possibly end well." They didn't know how to disagree without being disagreeable.

In the process of getting louder, as is typical in our society, they got really rude and inappropriate. All the sudden, they were cursing, throwing out all kinds of labels at me and basically telling me what my problem was as a human being. While, I didn't personalize it or get angry with the person, I thought about what they said, telling myself, "Seiho, take your inventory, maybe some of this applies. Check it out."

As I had time to sit with the words and the other persons vitriolic performance, I noticed something. What they had charged me with was precisely what their behavior had been. It took me some time, be I was able to see that the person that they where looking at wasn't me. It was themselves and at the same time projecting what they saw in themselves onto me.

In the past when people would criticize me, I'd accept it, with no questions asked. Part of the reason I did that was based around my low self-esteem and having a kind of fatalist attitude that whatever I got I deserved. After some time in with Zen, unifying my heart and mind... just a little, I came to see that living that kind of storyline was a bunch of crap and not helpful to me. It was all smoke and mirrors, containing no genuine content.

When people are criticizing, offering put-downs and labeling, they aren't doing that so that we can feel better. They are doing so that they can. It's a symptom of a dis-ease that can live in the mind. With there is dis-ease, there's always a need for anger, vitriol, gossip, spite and aggression. You'll find gap, holes and burned bridges everywhere. For some, it's their heroin... their addiction.If we accept their problem as ours, that's called co-dependency and the net-result is that we ourselves can become very ill too, if we are not careful and taking care of our mind and heart.

Yesterday I mentioned Genjo Marinello, Osho's teisho, "Three Turning Words." If you listened to the complete teisho, there was a point when he said, "We can use our every day circumstances as a point of practice." What a useful toe-hold for climbing a cliff-wall. A lot of Zen can and does happen on the cushion. True, true, true. But Zen is happening everywhere else too. These are all opportunities to unify and harmonize the mind.

In this particular moment, in this particular case, I decided not to assume ownership for their dis-ease and crap they spouted. If they feel the need to hold their negative feelings, that's their choice. I'm not so powerful as to be the one that can disarm them. Sometimes the true act of compassion is saying, "No thank you," and walking away form the situation. It's kind of like being with a person who is very drunk or high on drugs and we're sober. We can't really get to the space they are, because they so screwed up at the time. It's better to let go, rather than hold on and try to make sense of it.


In closing, some might say, "We're all capable of being crazy, so what You're saying doesn't get at the complete situation." And I will respond, there's times when being a relativist, will put you in the mouth of a lion and get you devoured. Personally, I'm in favor of improving upon my life, not only for the sake of myself, but all sentient beings. Just because other people are being crazy doesn't justify we have to fold and give in to their thinking and behavior.

Unify Your Heart,

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
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Three Turning Words

With the Start of the fall intensive at Dai Bai Zan, Cho Bo Zen Ji, Genjo Marinello Osho delivered a utterly breathtaking Teisho. It's entitled, "Three Turning Words," shining brighter than the Hope Diamond. You might think the use of that expression as hype, but it's definately not.

Early on in the teisho, Genjo Osho says, "As someone reported to me in dokusan today, it doesn't matter how intensely You train. Even if You were to become an Unsui (training monk) and join the monastery like Dai Bosatsu in New York or Tassajara in California or Mt. Baldy in California, some of the big Zen monasteries and You were to intensively train 24-7... It doesn't matter how intense You train, it won't produce or give You enlightenment... or peace of mind... or Open-heartedness... or equanimity...

However the more intensely we train... and this can be done whether You are participating in the fall intensive or not. The more intensely that we use every moment, every action of our day to investigate who we are or 'What is this,' then it doesn't matter whether You are traveling or working or making love or mowing the lawn or preparing a meal or even going to sleep. If you use every moment as an opportunity to look and investigate, 'Who is sitting on this cushion?' 'Who is listening to this discourse?'

But who does that? I don't. And I suspect that no one here does that at every moment and at every opportunity. But to the extent that we have woken up enough to know, that this investigation is important and make it our top priority... more important than anything else, because everything else flows from this investigation. Our capacity to be good partners, good workers, good citizens, compassionate beings or mirrors, and beneficial to all that we meet, with a caring open-hearted attitude that is fostered by this investigation undoubtedly into who is sitting on this cushion? Who is breathing this breath" who is listening to this discourse?"

As Genjo Osho drives deeper, in a digestible manner, he offers the entire practice of Zen, simply and clearly, with a complete heart. It's deeply moving. You can hear the entire and download "Three Turning Words," at The Choboji Podcast for free here or go to iTunes and looking under Choboji Media. I'm hoping that You find it as helpful as I do.

Yours In Zen,

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Melting Doubts

Last night, one of my friends on twitter made a comment that went something to the effect of "Yes...the motivation is already there, however, I question whether my action was really helpful sometimes." Pow! I could totally relate to this and have known that spot in the road, many times.

I've had more than one experience where my focus and motivation was to do something so-called, "right." Despite the best efforts and intentions, things didn't turn out as I'd hoped or intended. Because things can so easily "back-fire," doubt can become an element of our consciousness. But what is this doubt that Haku'un Yasutani Roshi used to call one of the "Three pillars of Zen?"

Looking at it one way, my doubts reflect a mind that says, "I'm lacking confidence not just intellectually but emotionally too." If my doubts get well rooted (like a weed), anxiety, worry, indecision, hesitation, delay and stall tactics can appear. Everything and everyone becomes an intentional or accidental adversary.

The antidote can be found in the two other pillars of Zen (Unification). "Faith" and "Determination."

Faith or confidence in oneself can be enhanced or cultivated though the disciple of Zazen. In sitting, we come to know our own mind and understand what's inside the box of our mind and memories. In my personal experience there's been a lot of reconciling with what I thought was happening and the actual reality that transpired. Having a Zen teacher can be incredibly helpful.

Determination is that we are focused, not concentrated, on our practice. The dedicated focus is that we not only refuse to give up on ourselves, but others too. Genjo Marinello Osho has used any number of verbs, to guide those seeking "The Way." Combust... harmonize... dissolve... compost... merge... cut through... keisaku.... and Muuuuuuuu.

Years ago, when I was living at Dai Bosatsu Zendo, I heard Eido Shimano Roshi say, "In the long, long, life of the universe, we are not wasting our time. Stop worrying and fretting so much." I would think about that a lot, thinking how some of my actions could seem so frivolous or wasteful to me. But looking back over time, even when I thought I was not succeeding, it was only because I wasn't linking that moment to the larger stream of being and activity that I live in. I was isolating the instance not harmonizing and merging it with the bigger picture of my life. There was no perspective.

After some discussion my friend said, "Hence I remain steadfast on my cushion...not for myself but for all beings.." And my being responded with a, "Yes!" He remember our unending vow, we made the first time we cried at birth. It may have sounded like whaaaaaa whaaaaa whaaaaaa whaaaaaa. But it was actually saying, "However innumerable all beings are, we vow to help them all. However inexhaustible delusions or I vow to extinguish them all. However immeasurable Dharma teaching are, I vow to master them all. However endless the Buddha's Way is, I vow to follow it. When applied doubt melts like a block of ice, placed on the surface of the Sun.

Yours In Zen,

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
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Removing The Hook

In short "Shenpa," is when our attention and focus gets hooked in a strong way. This morning, I thought it would be helpful to share a short video of Pema Chodron talking on getting unhooked from Shenpa, giving us the opportunity to be more ourselves. Learn and enjoy.



Namaste'

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
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Opening Our Hands

Yesterday turned out to be a reasonably tough day for me. I was feeling squeezed, compressed and pressured by some situations. The result was that after when I hit a particularly rough moment, near the end of the day, I lost my temper. In the discussing what happened with my teacher, he helped me to see that my reaction was partially coming from not know how to change and respond to the circumstances, in front of me.

Last night when I sat with where I was at I had this deep feeling of tears. But within that feeling, there was a choice. I could sit, wallow and stay upset or I could redirect my attention and move towards unifying my mind.

I ended up posting something on twitter that was an honest feeling. I said something to the effect, "Grace is not having everything go right. Grace is knowing that things don't have to." Almost instantly, one of my friends "Direct Messaged," me. It was a good conversation that helped to pull me from the mental and emotional quicksand. Like I said yesterday, The Bodhisattva of Compassion's heart beats beneath our skin. It was honest and direct. It wasn't stuffing emotions and holding things in. It was pulling things out and putting them on the table, so that they could be looked at.

After that, I found myself remembering when one of my friends from Choboji had told me, "Everybody wants to be their best, when they are with Genjo Marinello Osho. But he's there for when we feel we are at our worst too." And that's when I emailed him. Instead of isolating, I reached out. I wasn't intending to allow the negative feelings drown me.

The response that he sent back was precise and 100% appropriate to the moment. His expression help to blow away some of the clouds that had been covering and blocking my mind. It was straight ahead, when before the only thing I was seeing was right and left turns of a crooked path, within my thoughts and feelings.

When the feelings are not so great, the walk to the Zafu can sometimes be a long one. Turns out that it wasn't. In fact, sitting was something of a relief. It gave me a very focused period, allowing my feelings to settle like snow flakes, and regain if nothing else a moment of clarity, breathing in and breathing out. Whatever happens, really does happen. Sometimes even two arrows will meet in mid-air and we can open our hands and turn it into a gassho, palm to palm.

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
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We Are Counting on Each Other

Yesterday, I was at work and headed back to the administrative offices, when I passed the wife of a newly admitted patient in the driveway. She had stopped me, asking a few more questions about the program. Before the conversation ended, she took off her sunglasses looked me in the eye and said, "I'm really counting on You guys. My husband is a good guy who needs help." I said, "We know and are motivated to do our best to help him." With tears in her eyes, she put her sunglasses back on and drove off.

One of my favorite movies of all time is called "City of Angles." There's a great line that where the angles use the like, "Some things are true, whether You believe them or not." Yes!

There is a Bodhisattva named Kanzeon, sometimes known as the Bodhisattva of Compassion. The name is sometimes translated as "She who hears the cries of the world and responds." The Mind and intention of Kanzeon is to help those who are suffering. In fact the intention to help others is so vast and great that she's sometimes depicted having a thousand arms and hands to see and help all beings from their suffering.

If I said to You, "The heart of Kanzeon beats within Your own chest," You'd probably think that I was foolish, grandiose or being poetical. But the fact is exactly the case. Some things are true, whether You believe them or not.

In our life there are people that we must count on, for many, many, many, many things. At precisely the same time, whether we would prefer it or not, others count on our us to do something that could potentially help them. It doesn't matter if the action seems large or small to us personally. It has been said that the wings of a butterfly in Bhutan has the power to cause a great wind across the plains of America. It's all interconnected.

Life is a series of moments. In each moment there is a choice which only we can make. Will we accept or refuse the connection that we have to another? I must be honest, there are a lot of times that I want to refuse the connection. I don't want to wash the dishes, someone else made the mess. Why should I help You on your project, You probably wouldn't help me on mine. I don't what to help You out of the ditch, You put yourself there and will probably do it again cause you never listen. I'm my own person, I don't want or need the help of others and yet we actually do. We can have so many of these unhelpful messages, undercutting our very being, like an axeman trying to chop down a tree.

It's easy to get spun around and forget who we truly are. The illusions seem so real. Whether we remember or not, we are Buddha... Awakened Mind... We carry within us the heart of compassion and it can be easily expressed if we'd just stop ignoring "It." Once we stop ignoring our inherent Kanzeon Bodhisattva nature, we immediately want to start taking action and helping. It's as natural as rain falling from the sky and penetrating the earth. It will come naturally, we just have to let go of the "false" ego baggage. And how can You tell that it's false? Easy. It's anything that is willing to cause harm and separation. Just start there and we'll be okay.

We are counting on each other, whether we believe it or not. We need each other, believe it or not. We are each other believe it or not. And believe it or not, at this very moment, the heart of Kanzeon Bodhisattva is beating, just beneath the surface of your skin.

Be Happy and Free,

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

The Middle Way

The day that I took Jukai from Genjo Marinello Osho he said, You will have to lean when to pick up and when to drop the Precepts. My thinking at that time was, one more koan to become. Genjo Osho phrases a koan as, "A catalyst for awakening one’s true... deep... pure nature." That's important to remember, since people often think of a koan as a kind of riddle.

There's been a theme lately (actually its always been there) of noticing how much we as people live in the extreme's. People more and more are either incredibly well off or financially struggling to survive. Some are either extremely bellicose or perfectly passive, not taking action despite the moment requiring something more from us that we aren't giving. We can be extremely conservative or extremely liberal. We can be okay with responses that are either Yes or No, but we hate the word "maybe." If your behavior is not 100% perfect, you're worthless. If your behavior is spot on, you want to be better than everyone else and are considered holier than thou.

It's all polarizing extremes and caricatures that are not essentially "real." As people, we know very well how to drop something (or someone) to the ground completely. We also know how to hold something up so high about our heads, there's an appearance... an illusion of superiority. I myself like to say there's a lot of smoke and mirrors in the extremes, not very much that is real and authentic.

When Gotama Buddha expressed "The Middle Way," He didn't intend it for just when convenient or inconvenient moments popped into our lives. As I recall He used the metaphor of a stringed instrument. "If the string is wound too tightly, it will eventually snap. If the string is to slack, the instrument will not play correctly."

I can help others and myself, when I apply the principle of, "Moderation" or "The Middle Way," in the numerous aspects of my life. This includes as a Buddhist, father, spouse, friend, employee, human being, neighbor, American citizen, Earthling or student of life and this very moment. Even on the sitting cushion, my breath calls me to the middle, not straining or being shallow... just even. This is our Way.

Though we may feel our attention and focus lassoed by those who live in the extreme, we can hit the pause button on our reactions. It can be difficult, but it's possible. It's useful to remember that depending on how we react, we can inadvertently choke and lose our balance with ourselves psychologically, emotionally and spiritually. Harmonizing is essential, to fully "Awakening" our Mind.

The expression, "When you are walking, walk. When You are eating, just eat. And when sitting, sit. Above all else don’t wobble." These words are living and not just platitudes. Put another way, it's the firm statement to, "Be the Middle Way."

Yours In Zen,

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Being Straight Up

Last night @EllenSka who is a friend and Zen practitioner made a comment that read, "Aaah, but there's also, OK, I'm doing it. I'm sitting, I'm studying with a Zen teacher, I'm working with my koan. And 5 years later, I'm frustrated.

At that point, when I still persist in saying, "What do you MEAN by that?" I can understand your frustration. You say that you see something that I don't see, and I know it's my fault for "hanging on" to something. Will you show me this "thing" I'm hanging on to, so I can let it go?"

About 15 years ago, I was working for a particular company that specialized in Alcohol and Drug Treatment. The owner and I flew down to Charlotte, North Carolina to look at buildings to put a program in, for the Department of Corrections, to do something called "Jail-Based Treatment." I figured we'd just look at some unused hospital space and be done with it. Charlie on the other hand had other plans.

We ended up in some sort of trucking terminal center on the West side of town. The main building had about 3 inchs of water in it and there was crap everywhere. As I silently look I was asking myself, "Did You just go to work for a mad man." Charlie on the other hand could have danced an Irish jig. He said, "This is great!" He was talking about put this over there and doing something else with another space, and in an open piece of land put group building something from the ground up. He said, "We're gonna help some people get sober and their life." I on the other hand was thinking "He must be living in Disneyland." Little did I know, but he was.

Six months later it was finished and it was precisly what he said. Beautiful. We began clients from the Department of Corrections and began helping people change their lives. It was great. He was able to see something that I couldn't, because his mind didn't have a fixed position. I on the other had could only see the "flat," surfaces that where in front of me and so I couldn't make the leap.

Answering @Ellenska more directly, "No I can't show You enlightenment." But you can show YOU. Those around us can only point in the direction. You have to come to see for Yourself. Anything else is crap.... cheap.... a hoax... Given the expressed frustration though, I can relate to that. Maybe there are a few things that I can help in the journey to right Here.

1. There's only one barrier to not Awakening the Mind. Ourselves. Intellect can be a nice prize, but it doesn't work out to well in Zen. I'm not sure if I mentioned this but it's possible to be "too smart," in Zen. Sometimes we are so intellectual that it makes it impossible to connect and express our intuitive, non-analytical nature. Put another way, intellectualizing is like having a hurricane force wind and then trying to shoot an arrow though a keyhole that's 300 feet away. Good luck with that.

2. In my own training, I had to get to a point where I made the decision to drop the "I am defective person" narrative. Yes we have mental malware, but that's not actually "Us." If we are frustrated and thinking "Why can't I get this thing," is evidence of the feeling that we are somehow "defective... inferior... not capable... not ready..." That like of thinking is crap and a trick of the ego. In fact, we have the optimal body form to attain "complete" awakening.

3. Teachers, teachers, teachers. I hate to throw a rock in the lake, but maybe we sometimes need to switch up our teacher. I trained directly with Eido Shimano Roshi at Dai Bosatsu Zendo. He is excellent. I love him very much. DBZ is about 8-10 hours from my house and yet I fly 3,000 miles to train with his Dharma Heir, Genjo Marinello Osho. I live relatively close to the Baltimore-Washington area, there's lots of places to practice there. Why wouldn't I find someone closer to train with? It makes no logical sense (left brain) to fly out to Seattle several times a year to sit in a room, "staring at the floor and walking in circles," but intuitively (right brain) It makes a 100% perfect sense to me.

I have deep and biding respect for Eido Shimano Roshi, John Daido Loori Roshi, Geoffrey Shugen Arnold Sensei, Konrad Ryushin Marchaj Osho, Pema Chodron and Thich Nhat Hanh. But Dharma arrangement brought me to Genjo Osho and in following that intuitive sense, my practice has gelled in ways that I could have never imaged. If there was any doubt in my intellectual mind, it was demolished the first time I sat in front of him in dokusan. When I got to Chobozenji, I recognized I was finally home.

One teacher may be very helpful for one phase of our training and not the next. Don't bother holding on. True teachers all teach the same Dharma, each have a way of turning it in a particular way.

4. Last but not least. When someone says, "I'm working with my Koan," the koan is not somewhere outside. We are the koan. The trouble is that we are trying to "think our way into a new way of living and being." We can do the exact opposite. We can "Live our Way, into a new Way of thinking." Shugen Seisei was not kidding when he said, "If you want to break your habits and patterns, just practice Zazen." STOP thinking about Zen practice! Be the practice Itself, with not gap or separation... Be seamless... Then everything that is "Unseen" and mysterious becomes the easily seen. No if's, and's or buts...

In closing the week, I can only say that I find it impossible to show people what they are "hanging on" too. Why? Because It's really not there. We make stuff up and take it as real all the time. The Diamond Sutra expresses the point clearly and directly.

All composite things
Are like a dream, a fantasy, a bubble and a shadow,
Are life a dew drop and a flash of lightning.
Thus are they to be regarded.
-and so you should
Think in this way of all this fleeting world:
As a star at dawn, a bubble in a stream,
A dewdrop, a flash of lightning in a summer cloud,
A flickering lamp, a phantom, and a dream. ~Diamond Sutra

With Gassho and Deep Bow,

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

It All Happens So Fast

Yesterday, one of my Twitter friends NuclearDwight, posted "Dropped son off for first day of high school." It was easy for me to relate, because I had done pretty much the same thing two weeks ago with my 13 year old daughter. The emotion I had was, "Wow!" Life happens so fast.

I still remember and can feel the first time I held her in my arms. I remember the first time she walked, when she got her adenoids removed, taught her to a ride bike, preformed in her first play, did the Summit Plummet at Disney, held her new-born sister, and her crying because she didn't think I understood how she felt about something important to her. Now she 13, listens to music that I have no idea what the lyrics are saying, because of what passes for singing and spend most of my time making the effort not to embarrass her when her friends turn up. It all happened in the blink of an eye.

Sometimes I look in the mirror, in the morning. I scan my face for that kid who was 10 or 11 years old. I can't really see him, except for the eyes. Besides that, the only thing that I see is now.

Later today, I have to go to lay one of my friends to rest. Resting in my feelings during zazen this morning, I felt the imprint and impression that they made on my life. I didn't feel so much as sad, but rather grateful that I was able to notice them and they noticed me. We had some good conversations. The time in knowing them went fast. Nothing was wasted. Nothing needed to be added or subtracted.

Saying "Our life is precious," is much more than a cliche'. Can You feel it? "Our life is a true miracle. For that reason, I make the effort to live the principle, "Make everything count." What that means is that as I interact with people, places and things, I usually at some point make the effort to be mindful... kind... loving... trustworthy... friendly... It just seems like the right thing to do.

Wayne Dyer sometimes tells a story about a boy watching a monk, by the seashore. The monk is watching a scorpion as it enters the water. Fearing it might drown, the monk picks it up and places it on the bank. As he sets the scorpion down, it stings him. Moments later the scorpion run back towards the water and the monk rescues him again. Setting him down, the scorpion stings him again. As the boy watches, this activity is repeated over and over. Eventually the boy approaches the monk, asking "why do You bother to keep saving the scorpion? Every-time You save him he stings and hurts You." The monk looked at the boy smiling and replied, "As it is in the nature of the scorpion to sting, it is in the nature of human beings to save." We can embrace that.

It all happens so fast. Milarepa said, "I want to live and die, without regret." If we make the effort to live our TRUE purpose, our TRUE nature, we won't be wasting time or know regret. There's no sense in stalling or thinking "This is a test." Rather than being a test, This is our life, which is meant to be lived, whole... seamless... free...

May Your Life Go Well,

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Just Not Right There

On a fairly regular basis I encounter people (including myself) who say they want one thing, yet do another. A person will say to me, "I want to get clean and sober." I can say, "Okay come in today and we'll get You started." At a surprising rate they often respond with, "Can I come in and get started tomorrow?" Classic. Other times people say "I want to get enlightened, what should I do?" I usually reply, "Do Zazen and study with a teacher, so that You can drop mind." Next thing that happens is that we are doing everything we can to hold on to the mind and we've become their own Zen Master. We don't always take the time to be the student. It's a life of unending contradiction.

Living in contradiction is terribly sad and hilariously funny at the exact same time. We want to get "good grades" in life, but sometimes don't want to study. The truth is that we would like the goal or the result, minus what's "In-between" to get there, mainly because we think of the "In-between" work/effort as somehow painful. The in-between effort isn't painful, we are, given that we are prone self sabotage. What is the "Gateless barrier of Zen?" Take a look in the mirror and You'll find out.

In my life, if there are things that I *really* want, I've always had to at least be willing to let go of something. If I want an authentic relationship with my teacher, I have to be willing and able to drop my B.S. and pretense. If I really want to hear You, I have to drop what's in my mind, not just listening with my ears, but my whole body. If I want a healthy relationship with You, I will see past myself and embrace You as is, not with my little labels that I might have attached. If I want to help, I have to let go of thinking and behaviors that don't. And if I want to be "Awakening Mind," I have to drop the things that have caused my Mind to sleep.

In the Way of Zen (unification), there is no substitute for practice. We will NOT intellectualize ourselves into "Awakened Mind," no matter how hard we try. It requires "Something" else. If You don't connect with what that "Something," We'll just remain one step behind where the action *really* is, like when we were children, shadowing someone else's footsteps. We were very close behind, "Just not right there."

Yours In Zen,

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Cultivating A Softer Heart

In my daily experience, I encounter so many opportunities to harden my heart... to isolate and distance myself from others. I can get cut-off in traffic. I can encounter the sullen faces as I enter the store. I can hold the door for someone, yet they never acknowledge my presence with a simple thank you. I can turn on CNN - News (Continuing Never-ending Negativity) or some other network, tuning in anxiety, fear and other emotions to be hooked on like a drug addict seeking a fix.

If we allow ourselves to be consumed, our compassion is eroded and weakened. The heart is no longer tender or soft. In fact we can absorb so much of the elements that harden our heart, we can end up with a distorted view of ourselves and our life. It's like someone or something is constantly offering us a road-map to unhappiness, but we don't even notice that's what's being done to us.

There are times that we have to let go of the maps we've been handed. In dropping the maps we have the opportunity to make our own way. Some have said that It's like waking from a dream. In dropping parts of the map, I've come to have an idea of what slavery is and it has nothing to do with ethnic groups. It has to do with being put in a box of tightly defined scripts and labels, manipulating us right out of genuine happiness.

Cultivating a "Softer Heart," takes persistence, study, practice and training. It takes not giving up on ourselves, when we fall down. It requires a confidence to live forward within the moment. It requires honesty, openmindedness and willingness to grow beyond the limitations of the map we've gone by for most of our life. We really can be fully interconnected and interdependent in healthier ways, but we have to live It, not philosophize about It.

Gotama Buddha said, "However innumerable all beings are, I vow to help them all. However inexhaustible delusions are, I vow to extinguish them all. However immeasurable Dharma teachings are I vow to master them all. However endless the path to Awakened Mind is, I vow to follow It." He said what he meant and meant what he said.

Put shorter, Gotama Buddha was actually saying, drop the map that you were given, lift Your eyes and see and be the world (beyond time). If You prefer shorter still, let's soften our hearts together. Affirm confidence in Your own Mind, not someone else's!

Love All - Serve All - Every Single Day,

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Guarding & Protecting The Mind

In "Way of the Bodhisattva," there's a sentence that goes, "Those who wish to keep the trainings , must with perfect self-possession guard their minds. Without this guard upon the mind, the trainings cannot be preserved."

On September the 6th, I'll be celebrating another Birthday. Despite the fact that I will have been here in this form for 16,060 days, I find myself still dancing uncomfortably with some lessons. Chief among those is "Guarding and protecting the mind," because without care and nurturing, the mind can start latching onto all sorts of unfavorable experiences and emotions. As we latch and grasp, it distorts attention, feelings and actions. Once that happens, good luck after that.

Though I'd like to feel like after all the years of practice and training, in all humility I have to admit that there are many things that still do. I've found that the things that effect my mind the most is what Pema Chodron calls, "Shenpa." It's those things that go on which tend be negative, instantly evoking anger, fear, frustration, causing the hooked mind to "delete," everything else and only see this one thing that has it psychologically or emotionally trapped.

As I've been working with the principle of shenpa over this year, I've noticed that it happens most when my mind feels zero control, especially powerless or helpless. Giving in to these feelings is like I've mentioned lately, being caught in a 200lb. fishing net, I a 1000 ft. of water. Once there, it can be very difficult to cut free, but it's still very possible to do so. The results feelings and actions put us in moments when we are not necessarily at our best.

So how do we guard or protect the Mind? That's easy enough to say, but far harder to do, especially when in the throws of a tough moment. Here are some things that I do.

1. Zazen. It's a cornerstone to our foundation. I may not feel like I want to sit every day, but I sometimes view it like a savings account. It lends itself a certain stability to that when things come up, I might at least have a toe-hold of mindfulness in a situation not to "bite down on poison," that a situation offers me.

2. Remember the face of my teacher or someone I respect. When I'm have a moment when I'm getting hooked, I visualize Genjo Marinello's face as though we are sitting in Dokusan. I think about how he might respond or what I seen him do.

3. I remember the past doesn't equal the future. Just because something has tripped me up yesterday doesn't mean that it has to happen today. I like the poem, Life in Five Short Chapters, by Portia Nelson.

4. I remember that there are though I may not be able to notice it in a given moment, there is a Buddha in my being. If I slow down my breathing, I'll eventually connect with it.

5. I make an effort to recall Buddhist Precepts. They are short, simple and direct. When I'm getting hooked emotionally, I need simplicity and directness.

6. Chant. Usually "Namu Dai Bosa," which means "Connect and Unity with the Great Bodhisattva [within].

7. Do something for someone else. When I do something that might help another, the shenpa or net that my mind was caught in disappears. In helping, I am healed too.

When something unfavorable or difficult hooks us, we really are not responsible for our first reaction, but the moments there after enters the choice, to sink or swim. Guard and protect mind, It's critical psychological, emotional and spiritual growth.


In Gassho,

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Bushido Within

In the Hagakure (Shadow of the Leaves), there is a section that contains "The Eight Principles of Bushido."

1. Jin - To develop a sympathetic understanding of people.
2. Gi - To preserve the correct ethics.
3. Chu - To show loyalty to ones master.
4. Ko - To respect and care for ones parents.
5. Rei - To show respect for others.
6. Chi - To enhance wisdom by broadening one's knowledge.
7. Shin - To be truthful at all times.
8. Tei - To care for the aged and those of humble station.

Though Bushido means, "Way of the Warrior," I've always found it interesting that the key principles are about harmonizing one's life. Maybe our true challenge is largely with ourselves and not others.

Exploring these principles can offer some real support in guiding our life. An example from my own experience related to something Robert A.F. Thruman has shared on multiple occasions. He said, "In the long life of the universe, everyone has been Your mother or father, so find ways to get along, even care for not just the people that You like, but those You don't."

That notion can and is extremely challenging for me at times, because I'm not connected in such a way with myself that I can feel or appreciate that, at certain moments. But the princple of, "Respect and care for ones parents," does insprire me to make some effort and see what happens. At times the results have been quite surprising and I've learned and seen something different in others, but myself as well. In this Way, I continuously train the Bushido within.

May Your Life Go Well,

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Kenosis, The Big Empty

Milton Erickson once said, "Enlightenment is always preceded by confusion." I myself used to hate and despise my periods of confusion and uncertainty, feeling that it was evidence there it might be a sign that I was an incompetent human being. I'm 100% not kidding about that last sentence.

The only way that I have managed to resolve and dissolve uncertainty and confusion is by what the Greeks called, "Kenosis." It means to empty out, in such a way that it allows for the opportunity for deep and expansive change. Another way that You could examine it is the story about the Zen Master pouring the cup of tea for the scholar. The teacher says, let me know when I've put enough tea in Your cup, but the guy is talking so much, the tea goes all over the table. As the tea's heading for his books, he yells "stop, stop, what are You doing, that's enough!" The Master said, "That's Your problem. You are so filled with You own thoughts, conceptions, ideas and what you think you know, there's no room to fit the nature of True mind and so You remain lost. Turn Your cup over.

When I feel Kenosis, I can sometimes get scared. I'm an emotional, psychological and spiritual pack rat. I love to hold on to things. My ego tries to fix or super-glue experiences/emotions in time and space, within the memories, wanting to put things in a nice neat little box. In point of fact, that's an incredibly dangerous thing to do.

When our ego attempts to cement people, place and things, they cease to be themselves. People, places and things cease to be alive, becoming an echo and reflection of what they really are. Anything we hold onto, we kill. We cannot even hold on to our breath. The body knows the air that we draw in must at some point be released too.

Sometimes I return to Pittsburgh, where I was born and stayed on and off in my teens. When I see my family, they tell the stories of who I was, not who I am. That's how they still see and define me, those so much time has passed. I once told my sister, "Your realize that person that you knew at 15 years old is now fully dead? Because of how you are holding on to the past it's more like I'm a ghost than actual living, breathing person to you." I could tell by her look, she wasn't sure how to respond. That's okay, because I do. I feel no confusion in my Mind.

As a human beings we have a high capacity storage drive called a brain. It can hold a great deal of information. Zen practice is kenosis. Empty, dissolve, release and combust, so that trees can be trees, water can be water, the people that we love can be the people that we love and Buddha can be Buddha, without interference of super-glue mind.

Namaste'

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

The Practice of Our Life

Today is the first day of September and breathing the cool air in, the thought that fills my mind is a verse from the Gateless Barrier. "A monk asked Ummon in all seriousness, What will It be when the tree withers and the leaves fall? Ummon replied Golden Wind!"

For those who don't know the expression "Golden Wind," means Autumn when leaves turn that beautiful golden color. For me, when I hear the these words, what I feel the them saying is, "We embody the season of this moment, breath by breath." The season isn't just the time of year, the season is We are in This moment. When my mind picks up on This feeling, it's very easy to feel a connection and gratitude for things big and small in Life. It's an opportunity to for 30, 40, 50, 60, 500 seconds to see past the normal clutter of my mind that can fill the day.

My teacher, Genjo Marinello Osho once told me, "For some they may not practice Rinzai Zen Buddhism. That's okay. Maybe their practice is their very life Itself." Reflecting back now, at this very moment, I feel This life, not some other life. We are breathing... sitting... walking... looking... feeling... noticing... being... experiencing... That's pretty okay. Yep, pretty darn easy to feel grateful.

Today, I'm facing what my wild-tiger mind would call some difficult challenges. But my Golden Wind mind tells me, This is our moment. This is our Now. We don't have to time travel to the past or into the future, We can just Stay here now with this moment, not running away from It, just being the practice our our life. That's the gift we can give to ourselves, moment by moment, breath by breath.

May Your Life Go Well,

Jaye Seiho Morris, curator
digitalZENDO