I went on,  “Personally I never fix anything. Most of the time, I just point or help connect people to other resources, including themselves. I’m a support to people, more times than not. I get that. They might feel like in their time of need, they’re not going to be judged or slammed. That’s helpful. Who wants to be down, feeling crappy and have it confirmed, because they’re being judged for where they’re at the time? We need an assist up and out. We need a hand up. What are we trying to avoid? Taking one more punch, that could knock us down to our knees again. We can be a part of each other’s miracle, instead than each other’s misery. I feel like we’re too familiar with feeling wounded than feeling connected with grace.”

Tearing they said, “I can understand that. I never thought of it like that.” Replying, “Me too and I see your tears.” They asked, “Are you mad or hurt that I asked? That I thought you were egotistical?” I told them, “I get it more often than you might imagine.  Limited-mind-orientation, brings out skepticism and suspicion. It’s not because their bad, but because things are usually down to the animal level. I do this for you and now you owe me or want something from me. It’s based in confusion and fear, instead of showing up big for each other. Like I said before, more times than not, we show up small. It’s kind of how the mind and body get wired, though our rough experiences.  That awareness is what backs me off and look for something different. 

I continued, It works both ways. None of us are exempt. There have been times that I was dealing with someone and thinking I knew, what they were going to be like in a situation. Before they or I came through a door, I was holding back and getting small. In my head was negative message after negative message.  I thought I knew what was going to happen. The next thing I know… they come in… they show up big, positive, open and my contracting and holding back can stop. We discover a way forward and a better moment than the one that was going on before.

It was accepting the opening, instead than being stubborn, angry and shutdown, holding on to past negative emotions. That’s the trick. It’s putting the crap down. That’s the value of reflecting on what it means in being humble. When I’m practicing with honesty, open-mindedness and humility, I’m willing to show up different too. That’s our unicorn moment. One actually appears! The softer way to maybe say unicorn is miracle. 

When we’re stuck in our negativity and limited-mind orientation we ask, “Who or what kind of person would be to show up in the 360? Who’s the one to show up expecting nothing in return or get hurt but still willing to show up? People in that frame of mind tell themselves, that person would have to be either, “stupid, arrogant or just pain nuts. They must be weak.” 

To them, they might have a hope that someone like that might exist, but the confidence, comfort or faith is there really only about like 30 or 40 percent. That’s less than half of how they showed up for their pain. It’s not a 60, 70, 80, 90, let alone 100%. It’s like believing in unicorns or something. We say, “Wow that would be so cool if…” and stop looking and go dark, thinking and feeling this fear and pain is pretty much it and normal. 

The reality is that they are exactly that person who could show up too. It’s simply a choice. The belief is lacking, because we look back our experiences. We’re looking at all the choppiness and crap that we’ve done. We don’t feel like we’re being authentic or real. We don’t feel like we’re capable of loving in the 360 that in real life or fearful that someone will use it against us.  I sometimes make the exact same choice. It’s a moment-to-moment thing for all of us. And that’s what’s so great about choices. I might pick one thing now, decide or feel different and select something in he next.

What re-connects us to the energy and the ability to open? Some say God, the Universe, Dharma, Buddha-nature, Love or Compassion.  It doesn’t matter what we call it really. I just had learned it needed to be caring, loving and greater than my fears. When we get dinged up or contract, it pulls out the dents. It flows in, through, around and with us all the times. Whatever it is that’s showing up big for us, is just re-minding us, “Hey, you’re no other than compassion, no other than kindness, no other than Love itself. Our life needs us. Please decide to show up big too.”

In closing, I would put it as one of my friends did. " Showing up big, by it's very nature, demands nothing from the person you are showing up for. It's an act of love on the part of the person showing up, and warrants no direct return. The best way to repay it, if you feel you need to, is to do the same for others. You touch on it in that people are afraid both to show up and to accept someone showing up because they feel it necessitates some sort of payback, but that's the beauty of it - it's a gift. Also, maybe that we need to be reminded to show up big for ourselves too. It's so easy to be self-defeating, to judge ourselves, in the exact way that maybe we would never allow ourselves to judge others, but we deserve the gift of our own compassion as well."

~Happiness Can Be Today - Live It

Jaye Seiho Morris 淸峰, Curator
digitalZENDO

The other day I was hanging out with a friend. We did what seemed like a simple activity. Standing at the end of a living room, I asked them to look themselves in the eyes and tell themselves, with sincerity, “I love you as YOU, just for today.” They stood there for a few moments. Their head went down. They told me it was stupid. They told me they didn’t want to do it. I responded, “This isn’t a want to. This is me, you were asked too. Please apply L.O.V.E. (Lots Of Voluntary Effort) to this present moment and give it a shot.

They looked at me and began to tear. They looked at themselves and head kinda went down, at a slant. They tried to say the words, but no sound came out and began crying. They said, “I don’t really feel like I love me. I don’t accept myself. That’s always been the hardest thing for me to do. I can accept and say I love other people. I can accept and say I love the God inside of me. But to say that I love myself… I’m not there... I’m not sure I ever have.” I looked them in the eye and said, “This could be one way of seeing how we can be very self-destructive at times. It’s pretty easy to destroy that which we don’t love. It’s for that reason, I’ve been practicing Zen and Twelve Steps for a very long time. To this day, I’m still healing and learning to love myself.” This is why I call my spiritual path “Reverse origami.”

We are unfolding experiences, beliefs, history and probably some wounds.  They’ve left us compressed, fearful, in shame, guilty, maybe hurt, jealous, maybe even envious or resentful of others. It’s living in a shadow. Sometimes we might get out of it for five or ten minutes. Maybe even a day, a week, a month or a year. But often we’re using some something outside of ourselves like drugs, work, relationships, shopping, food and other distractions, to hide the fact that we are feeling empty or invisible in some way. But the truth is that at some point we are going to have to meet ourselves.  There’s going to be a moment when the distractions, crap and procrastination stop working. It’s not if it will happen but when it happens.

My experience is that by living in fear, I felt kind of emotionally dead. I was a ghost or zombie. I didn’t feel entirely human. How else can I explain, the hurtful things that I was willing to do to myself and others when I was a teenager? I would wallow in my depression and anger, entertaining it like I was hosting a party, serving food and drinks to my confusion and fear. As a matter of fact, it got so bad and so dark, at one point as a teen, I tried to end my life on several occasions. Why would I be willing to do such a thing?  Simple. I was accepting fear and unlove, instead of positive acceptance and love.

In taking up a Spiritual path and learning to live through spiritual principles, we unfold our personal origami and re-mind ourselves of who we are. When my origami that is Seiho… Jaye… or whatever you want to call me is unfolded, I envision there’s a word written on the inside of that piece of emotional… psychological… spiritual paper. It’s a single word. Love. To me the word Love could very well be the same thing as saying, “Enlightenment,” or “Ceasing to be deluded.” It’s vast, open and free. It’s as my teacher Genjo Marinello Osho and so many others teach me. Blue sky mind.  Everything fits. Everything can be accepted open-heartedly and without fear, but with loving kindness and compassion.

Applying spiritual principles to our life isn’t mystical. It’s actually really simple.  Things like spending time with a Higher Power, in nature, playing with a pet like a cat or dog, healthy diet and exercise, hanging around people who are solution oriented and willing to unfold with us, reading books that are self-helping rather than mind-numbing, yoga and of course zazen (meditation), are all examples of having the opportunity to accept Love and compassion rather than unlove and fear.

If I’m accepting things in fear, I’m going to act negative. I’m going to start compressing and get smaller and smaller and smaller. If I’m accepting things in Love, I’m going to act positive. I’m going to relax, smile more and enjoy my moments and show up Big. It’s because I’m embracing the fact that I’m connected with more than just me. I’m connected to you and I find that pretty great, learning and discovering so much I never knew before. Paths such as Zen, Twelve Step Programs and other spiritual practices are not easy, by a long shot. But I can say with confidence, they are surely the Way Home. Happiness can be every day, but it depends on what I’m accepting.

Love All – Serve All – Every Single Day

Jaye Seiho Morris 淸峰, Curator
digitalZENDO

Today is Rohatsu or what some call Bodhi-Day! It's a rememberance of a human being known to his friends as Siddharta Gautama, Awakening 360 to our so-called "True Nature," that is core DNA of all Being. Just like Siddharta we too can awaken if we practice with our mind. Enlightenment is not reserved for so-called "Special" people. Enightenment is with all of us right now, at this very moment. We just have to set our baggage aside and instantly we can Be and act fully wtihin our True-Nature. 

The obvious question is, "If that's so possible to get enlightened, why would anyone hold back?" I'd have to say, I don't know for you. You have to find that out for yourself. But for me, my experience is that, when my mind is not a sincerely caring or compassion centered and Being, I get way more comfortable with fear than love. This is refering to what I called the other day "Limited-Mind-Orientation."

To wake up, all we have to do is, surrender and let go of everything that we "Think," be know and expereince the moment. It's just like the first time we ate our favorite food, before we tasted our favorite food. Maybe it was that one day we recieved a pet from someone, without knowing that we were going to get that pet. And when it was put in our hands. There was not juding or gaps, but just the excitment, smile and hugging something that felt so loveable to us. It just happened and a smile came mostly cause we we're thinking our ourselves at the time. We were only fully seeing It. That's enlightenment. We've had it in our life. The next step is learning how to sustain it, one moment at a time.

Limited-Mind-Orientation is connected to confusion. In our confusion about things we can feel powerless over, what might end up with feelings of fear, guilt, shame, anger, depression or anxiety. Any of these feelings can be a powerful fuel for what some call “Negative ego,” or in some circles “Self-centeredness” and “Self-obsession.” We’re perpetual arsonist, setting ourselves on fire, physically, mentally and spiritually. There’s often a high degree of suffering involved. And despite the pain, suffering and disconnections, we can get so messed up emotionally or become so fearful, we can think or feel that we can survive the unmanageability and refuse to let go of what’s hurting us. I’ve read many times, a specific sentence in a book I’m fond of that goes, “There’s a certain comfort, in old familiar pain.” 

What does limited-mind-orientation look like? Comically, when I looked at my past experiences, it wasn’t that hard. There have been times when I’ve said or felt things like, "I can't, you can't, It’s not fair, I've always been this way, they've always been like that, I'm not ready for _____, why would you do that for me, what are you gonna get out of this, you must want something back in return, I can't handle this, Do you have any idea what ____ did to me, I can only think of one thing right now," and pretty much any time we are engaging or entertaining our defects of character. It’s fear-based-living that gets has us showing up small in our life, instead of showing up big, settling for less that what we’re actually capable of. 

On the other side of the coin, there’s “Limitless-Mind-Orientation, that’s connected to discovery, happiness and courage. Life is lived more as smile than a frown. My feeling is that this is what Shunryu Suzki Roshi meant by “Zen-mind Beginners-mind.” It comes from perhaps “Positive ego,” setting it aside altogether or what some might say is “God, Higher-Power or Love Centered.” Instead of perpetual arsonist to others and ourselves, we’re more like perpetual firemen, focusing on spiritual principles like, surrender (letting go of everything we think we know or making ourselves available to the process of healing) physically, mentally and spiritually. It’s Loving-Kindness and compassion-based living. In Zen when would maybe call this Bodhisattva-Mind or Compassionate-Minded living.

When I was a kid, I was described by some as a kamikaze. I’d pretty much try any dare-devil act, strike up conversations with other kids I never met before, because I was excited to see what was going to happen. It’s because anything could and I had a “Don’t know mind,” everything was discovery. As I got older, I was described as “Introverted.” I didn’t want to meet other people or make serious connections with people, predicting it was going to end up bad and the experience would as my kids sometimes say, “Suck.” The reason why it sucked is cause I thought I knew everything and considered myself a card carrying member of psychic-friends-network. 

Since things are expected to go less than spectacular, we might give up and settle. At least that’s what I did, landing me square and chin deep in my addiction. Instead if living in self-caring and self-helping ways, we focus more on surviving and “Just getting by.” We end up on our knees, whether we realize it or not. We might have a dream, but we offer no effort or energy to make our dreams happen. Instead of showing up 100% to see if that’s where we’re supposed to be, we show up at 30 or 40% and complain that the world is against us, pretty much hating, loathing, despising, having anxiety and being depressed about almost everything and everybody. And without moving towards our dreams we naturally become emotionally, mentally and spiritually smaller, smaller and smaller. Things can get so bad that people can give up on life and just bump along until it’s over or end it intentionally, because they may feel so bad about themselves, circumstances or other reasons. 

Limitless-Mind-Orientation is about being at home to our "True-Nature," in the present moment. To arrive at Home to ourselves, takes continuous work and effort on our part. I hear people all the time people say, “I prayed, but nothing happened.” Which leads me to ask, did you work and co-create with your Higher Power? What did that look like? I only ask, because of what I friend once said to me. The guy said, “Pray like everything depends on God or your Higher Power, but please work like everything depends on you.” When I was told that, it was more than timely and things improved, because I moved out of limited-mind-orientation.

One thing I’ve heard repeated many times is that “There’s no point in dealing with our past. There’s nothing we can do about it now, so leave that crap where it is.” But my experience is, it’s not true. Our past experiences always have a way of seeping into our present moment, whether we want them to or not. Some of our reactions seem almost hardwired. This becomes the value of going back and working with our past. With the help and support of others, working through some (it doesn’t have to be all of our past experiences), the meaning of the things that happened to us can change. And if that changes for us, it can change how we respond to things in the present. That activity and action can help not only ourselves but many others, directly and indirectly.  

In our present moment, working on our relationship with spiritual principles, learning how to use them well, with the people, places and things we encounter, we can expand loving-kindness and compassion. Rather than having uphill battles, in our day-to-day lives, spiritual principles can improve our mental, emotional and spiritual balance by keeping us in discovery-mode or “Don’t know-minded.” Instead of repeating failure patterns, we make new and different mistakes. This in and of itself is like winning the super-bowl. It’s from that place, we can have a feeling of appreciation, gratitude, happiness, because we are learning so much and not being suffocated by situations and problems that never seem to have a real endpoint.

The nature of Zen… the unification of heart/mind… loving-kindness and compassion is to connect with limitless-mind-orientation. My teacher, Genjo Marinello Roshi sometimes calls this "Blue-sky Mind, It’s vast... open... free... unrestricited... unhindered... seamless... and your inherent True nature." Things may happen that may be hard and difficult, but those storms will not tear the sky, because limitless mind is so much bigger. We're already Home. All we have to do is open our heart and mind to It and live It, by "Surrendering," to that which is "Caring, Loving and Greater," than our limited-mind-Orientation. 

May Your Life Go Well,

Jaye Seiho Morris 淸峰, Curator
digitalZENDO

Eshu-San relates, "Consistency... regularity... stability in practice is what I emphasize over and over and over again. When hardship meets us, when difficulty meets us, when we find ourselves being stretched or challenged, it's my perspective that this is why we must practice (Zazen). We don't practice for the times when we're not in demand. We don't practice for the times when things are going smoothly and easily. We practice so that when the shit hits the fan, we are prepared. Not prepared like with a step-by-step plan. But our hearts, our minds, and our bodies are open to the possibility. We're willing to work with what arises in our lives. We're not shutting down out of fear, or out of anger, or and guilt; but we're open willing to embrace each moment of our lives as it arises, regardless of what it contains. 

So the short answer... How do you continue? How do you maintain your practice, when things are difficult is simply that you must maintain your practice... You must deepen your practice... You must engage with the practice of your life when things are easy."

I am very grateful that Eshu-San, kindly gave me permission to publish this transcription, from his Dharma talk. I hope that his talk encourages you forward and that you are able to meet your moment-to-moment present well.

This Teisho by Genjo Marinello Osho was given at the Oct. 23rd half-day sesshin at Chobo-Ji. This talk examines The Book of Rinzai, Jishu Chapter 14.  Zen Master Rinzai is asked, "What is the buddha-devil?" It serves as a deep and clear look into how we use our mind to move within our day-to-day life, and maybe how that can help us or hurt us.

It’s turning out to be a beautiful autumn day outside, While here we are on the inside, sitting in this basement Zendo, examining an ancient Zen master in China… Rinzai, talking about Buddha’s and devils. In some ways it would be better to be out raking leaves… riding bikes… or walking in the park. There’s something to be said though for borrowing and examining what this ancient tradition has to offer. And so we continue our examination of the Rinzai Roku (The Book of Rinzai) and see what we can gleen for ourselves… today, in our modern world in our current sangha… in our current home.

Someone asked the masters, “What is Buddha-Devil?” There is a hyphen between the two. What is Buddha? What is devil? But somehow in the asking, at least in the translation here by Eido Shimano Roshi, He doesn’t ask it as two separate questions, but relates it as “What is Buddha-Devil,” already implying that the questioner understands that there is a mix… an inseparable mix. 

We make these artificial distinctions between, up and down, hot and cold, right and wrong, light and dark, yin and yang, form and non-form, and life and death. In addition, we talk about Buddha and devil. From the Buddhist perspective it is hopefully understood that these are artificial distinctions and separations that our minds make, in order to communicate and negotiate the world and to protect ourselves, our own individual identity that comes up from our instincts for survival so that we know when this body leaves off and others begin. It’s essential to our survival, so we are programmed to divide… to discriminate, this from that, self from other, life from death, Buddha from devil. But even though we’re programmed to make these distinctions and divisions, we come to understand from a deep intuitive experience or insight, that these divisions are just relative, arbitrary separations of one indefinable, ungraspable, if we could say substance that doesn’t have a form, let a lone a name. To this question, “What is the Buddha-devil,” Rinzai replied, “One thought of doubt is the devil.” Doubt about what? One thought of doubt… concerning these divisions. In other words. If you take any of these divisions as real, that’s the real devil. 

If you think that you’re saintly or that you’re worthless or fundamentally flawed… if you think you’re a human being, as separate from other human beings as separate from other species, this thought that we’re separated individualities is the devil. This idea that we are discrete, separate individualities is the real devil. As soon as we start taking any division as real, that seed or that doubt, or that delusion is the real devil. 

He goes on to say, “But  if you get it…” the true meaning… that the ten thousand unborn Dharma’s and understand that mind itself is like a phantom and not even a spec of dust… not even a single Dharma exists and that everywhere is already purity… if you are not plagued by doubt or delusion… these arbitrary separations are real, then you will see everything as purity and everything as no Dharma, and this he says is “Buddha.”

So the real devil is not some demon with a pitch fork. The real devil is believing your conceptualizations to be real.  The real Buddha is believing or knowing that your conceptualizations are not real.  Knowing that your conceptualizations of good and bad, up and down, hot and cold, life and death, self and other, are not real is Buddha. Mistaking these separations as real is devil. But don’t you know that Buddha and devil are two aspects of one seamless soup reality. You couldn’t have one without the other.

You have often heard me say that confusion is pregnant clarity. Death is pregnant life. Formlessness is pregnant form… and life is pregnant death.  We call one pure and one defiled… or one hot and one cold… but according to this mountain monks view, there is no Buddha… no devil… no sentient being… no one to save… no past, no present, no tomorrow. If we really understand in this way, then there’s nothing to attain either and we’ve already arrived, even though we haven’t gone anywhere. No time is required. No practice is required. No realization is required. No gain is possible and no loss is possible. If we are really confident… our conceptualizations  are just that… our conceptualizations. 

If you’d like to hear the complete teisho (place that points to here the truth is), you can download it for free from either iTunes or the Choboji Podcast website. There’s something to be said for learning that we are always still learning, whether we realize it or not. The reality is not avoidable.

May We Show Up Well For Each Other Today,

Jaye Seiho Morris 淸峰, Curator
digitalZENDO

Hankuo can be translated from Japanese as "Resistance." It can also be expressed as defiance, rebellion, hostility and opposition. When it comes to the practice of Zen... The way of Unifying heart-mind, the prinicple of hankuo can be really important. Sometimes not understanding what I'm seeing in front of my face, I can get confused, not understandand, feel uneasy or really off balance. What ever it is, there's a discomfort. In those situations it's fight or flight that's more of a reflection of powerlessness and my not accepting it, in the given moment. 

The antidote to hankuo for me, I've come back to again and again, when I lose my way has been surrender... and as I mean it here, not resisting, the growth... the commitment... the temporary discomfort... the positive action... the healing... the necessary work...  the spiritual awakening that comes with opening our eyes, rather than keeping them shut.  To do that requires moving from fear-based living to spiritually-based living. To do that as someone very close to me taught me, "Jaye... there's a time when you have to put the bullshit down," and instead of trying to hold on to what's familar which is ususally some form of suffering, go into what's unfamiliar... do something new... try something new...

In doing something new, rather than staying commited to old self-defeating, self-harming, self-limiting and self-destructive patterns, we can write a new story for this moment. Depending on what we do, we can live forward, rather than backwards. 

May We Practice Our Life Well,

Jaye Seiho Morris 淸峰, Curator
digitalZENDO

Because life is life, people are people, we're going to suffer. Stuff is going to happen that we don't like, feel is fair or maybe sense, feel, notice or see some sort of disconnect. This is just a part of the process. It cannot and will not be helped. What can be so challenging for us is that I've known instances that not only was I commited to suffering, but I was actually "overly," commited to it, thinking or feeling that I had no other choice in certain sitatuions. In this over commitment, I was nurturing saddness... nurturing "This isn't fair"... nurturing "Why can't this be different"... nurturing "I want..." nurturing fear.... anger... disappointment... and many other things which can disconnect. We suffer and manage to expand on it like we're building a skyscraper... and all of this is being what Zen Master Rinzai called the "Disease," and "Dis-ease" of the mind. Fear, doubt and confusion. We are not mastering ourselves, but rather the suffering is mastering us. Ssuffering and the attachment to it sucks!

Over the years, a recurrent lesson has been, if I'm holding on to a porcupine, I can let go anytime to I want. But know that the longer I choose to hold on, the bigger the scars. The reason the wounds can be so big is that not only am I holding on to the porcupine of suffering, but I like to feed it, swing it around and make it bigger, because I give it so much energy, by giving the point of suffering so much attention.

To release suffering, all we have to do, is just let go... discover and rediscover a place of surrender... making a decision to not fight the life guards placed in our day-to-day life... not fight our home... not fight our inherent Buddha-nature (awakened heart-mind.

This morning I had the awakening that over the years, what my teacher, Genjo Marinello Osho had been teaching me is not to raise my suffering as a pet. I don't think he wants me to get eaten by something that doesn't really belong to me. He doesn't want me consumed by storylines and narratives of crap that my brain spews out which as one friend said to me yesterday is, "F.E.A.R. False Evidence Apearring Real."

Zen... The way of unifying heart-mind gives us a window of opportunity. We can nurture the ability to respond, rather than react... manage rather than mismanage... lean into our difficult moments as a human-being rather than a pure animal. We don't have to put off happiness. We can come to a place, when we set aside who we think we are and come to embrace who we genuinely are. Buddha! Awakened heart-mind. Be well friend. Heal.

May We Practice Our Life Well,

Jaye Seiho Morris 淸峰, Curator
digitalZENDO

A monk as Ummon, “What will it be when the tree withers and the leaves fall?” Ummon replied, “Golden Wind.” In other words, we are autumn. This expression is one that I’ve held to be beautiful and really easy to say, Yes, I can feel that. We are this very moment. We are this very season itself, whether we realize it or not. Just because I don’t notice or recognize gravity, doesn’t exempt me from its forces. Reality is highly committed to being present to the present. 

Basho speaking of autumn too said, “An autumn night - don't think your life didn't matter.” Put another was, whether we are aware or not, want to or not, we make an imprint in not just our life, but the life of others, intended or not, whether we like it or not. As we move through our life today, like a boat cutting through water, we’re going to leave a wake. What is that wake going to look like? I have no idea? How we live our life will tell us. 

And one last expression that came to mind this morning was, from the Native American’s that really captures a feeling of this moment… “Sometimes I go about in pity for myself, and all the while the great wind is bearing me across the sky.” And as I respond to this expression, I can only say, though I can get stuck, caught up in feelings, distractions, task lists, I have to do this and do that, and ohhh I hope I get this done and work and I worry about deadlines and wonder how I’m going to get it all done, and despite all of that, there’s something that supports all of us. This goes on whether we are aware of it or not. It just happens all by itself, because as I was once taught, “As much as we may be thinking that we are choosing our life, life chooses us too.” It’s a relationship.

Today at Choboji in Seattle Washington, my teacher, Genjo Marinello Osho and my fellow sangha members sit Golden Wind Sesshin (Effort to gather the mind). They sit efforting to awaken… not just for them, but us too. Why? Because of the energy that connects all life together… a boundless wind of seamless Mind. Sometimes my ego can’t feel it, but my essential Heart-Mind can, just as clear as when I’m standing on the beach in Ocean City and the breeze blows across my face. It’s as just like gravity. It works whether we believe it or not, understand it or not, care for it or not. 

Today is a good day, one way or another, whether the great I knows it or not. We can really experience It. All we have to do is put the self away, turn down the volume of our ego. And then in This very instance, We are every moment and every season, living within the boundless wind of life. My effort is to do my best today to treat it well. 

May We Take care of Today,

Jaye Seiho Morris 淸峰, Curator
digitalZENDO

Out mind as Engo said is a sword. It's a life giving or death dealing blade, depending on how we decide to use it. We can use the clearness of mind, in a life giving way, to connect, help, heal, support, open up, cut through the crap and remove barriers that limit our ability to feel or see reality as reality. We can use our distorted sense of love, in a death dealing way, to disconnect, abandon, wound, ignore, shut down, expand disconnectedness and erect, maintain and fortify illusions promising to create storylines and narratives that will never meet the reality of what's going on in This very moment.

The mind directs the blade to use our actions or our tongue to lift ourselves and others up or put them down. One way will give a life, the other take it, and it's not someone else who carries the blade. It's us and we can learn to take responsbility for it, and come to a better awareness of ourselves and how imporant others are, because they are us.

The mind is a life giving or death dealing blade. The mind is actually neutral. It's the intent that moves the blade in one direction or the other. The challenge is, to learn how to take care of the blade, that's our mind, so that we have the best possible opportunity to make good use of it. We're always going to make some mistake, some error, miss some detail, fail to notice something that might make a difference. But at the same time, the feeling is to help more than harm, ourselves and others. Please carry your mind well and as best you can. I'm working on it too.

May We Practice Our Life Well,

Jaye Seiho Morris 淸峰, Curator
digitalZENDO

There are a lot of times I've felt or thought, "I can't wait for this better person to show up and start living this life, so that I can be happier." Because of that kind of thinking and feeling, it became an excuse to avoid my responsibiities and I'd be saying, "I'm not there yet," or "I'm working on that," trying to duck accountibility for my thoughts, feelings and behavior. In a certain way, it was almost like living like a ghost or a puppet, since I refused to take ownship for my life.

The moment of Zen, of Unification is that I am responsible... Right here... Right now for this life and not some other one that hasn't happened yet. I'm responsibile, Just for Today.  It's my responsbility to face This moment and not some other moment that doesn't actually exist. I will always be my childrens father, divorced or not. It's my responsibilty to show up for their life. I have zazen, and no one can sit for me but me. I have recovery and there is no one in this universe that will be able to work the Twelve Steps for me but me.  Responsbility is none other than my ability to respond to those people, places and things that I have decided to make relationship with. Rather than waiting for some so-called "Better" or "Good person," or "The right version of Seiho," to show up and take responsbility, We need to do so here and now. In this way, we can  reduce... take off the table... release... let go... dissolve... combust... being a source of our own suffering, by showing up for our life well.

May We Practice Our Life Well,

Jaye Seiho Morris 淸峰, Curator
digitalZENDO

When moments like this appear, we can speak hope, love, compassion and demonstrate trust and support. Sometimes this effort is able to bring people out of that emotional coma and influence them enough that they get their head above water. This is raising the dead." This is something to be remembered. We are none of us alone.

May We Practice Our Life Well,

Jaye Seiho Morris 淸峰, Curator
digitalZENDO

When I tore apart my right knee in a surfing accident, years ago, I had to make a decision. My surgeon made eye contact with me and said, "Good news is your first surgery was successful. The bad news is, your leg is infected and if we don't do someting about it, becasue of the nature of the infection, you could either lose your leg or die." He looked at my face. he knew what I was feeling. I wasn't saying anything. He said, "Look, it's New Years Day. Nobody schedules surgery on New Years Day, if you want to get better we have to do it, it's an emergency. I need your cooperation to help you." And though I didn't want to go through and endure the pain of another surgery, especially so close to the last one, I surrendered, and made myself available to the process of getting better.

I had to drop my rebellious nature, the magical thinking of it will get better on it's own, accept doing what it took to help myself. It was learning to focus and do things that I didn't particulary want to do, but needed to do, so that I didn't end up essentially, put something off that needed to be done and in the end betray myself.

Surrender... that moment when we can set our ego, plans, and whatever else aside. To stop resisting the help. Allow myself to have the key to settle and live in my heart more times than not, on a day-to-day basis. Whenever I resist, I usually end up getting hurt in some way.

Zen practice, sitting on the black cushion has been a kind of surrender. The surrender for me has been, not resisting the sit. It's when I put my butt on the zafu (meditation cushion) not going into Jaye or Seiho world, but facing myself straight up... no resistence... no averting the eyes... no running away... just facing and turning into the fight of Buji, coming to the present moment, so I can stop betraying myself by letting go of the things I am obsessing on at the present time, that doesn't allow me to live in the here and now. Put another way, setteling into the Heart... or Mind... or 360 degree awareness of Compassion.

My goal day-to-day is not to be a so-called perfect human. My goal is to live by positive values more today than I did yesterday. When I give into my old self-centered, self-obsessed behaviors (Addiction), impulsivity and compulsion take over and things usually don't turn out well. Then it's not very hard to betray the self. In fact it's overly easy. I am a human being and I would prefer to unfold in the process of living that way. But to live in a policy of caring, it requires not just talking a talk, but living what we say too, so that we have congruence and integrity. To surrender is to win... the opportunity to change, grow and hopefully improve.

May We Learn Not to Be A Source of Our Own Suffering,

Jaye Seiho Morris 淸峰, Curator
digitalZENDO

Ethical Dilemma’s are those moments when we have to make a choice between  two equally undesirable alternatives, and our values or morals are involved and there seems to be no so-called “Right” answer. One example would be, I’m in the store and there’s a twenty dollar bill on the floor. There’s no one around. I pick it up. Do I keep it or do we try to find the person? Another one is that maybe we know or find something out, that's involving another person. If we tell them, they are going to hurt, and if we don’t tell them they are going to hurt, so we have an opportunity to potentially influence how they are experience something that’s going to bring unhappiness. 

This is no different that the Zen koan that asks, “You’re hanging in the tree by your mouth, that is 200 feet high. You can’t reach for any tree limb, with your hands or your feet. Someone comes to the base of the tree and shouts, my brother is dying, and bleeding to death, which way to the hospital?” If you answer you may die, if you do, you get to live, but someone else may die. How do we reconcile that, as a human being? Difficult choices is the nature of our life. How will we respond? 

In those moments, we are left to watch our own heart and mind. We have to make a choice about what is and is not important to us. We have to decide and chose the type of person we would like to be. We have to choose between our biggest fears and our greatest dreams. 

Today you and I may face an ethical dilemma? With what mind and heart will we attempt to answer? Will that mind and heart be fear based or love based? Will it be the mind and heart that lives through a policy or caring or uncaring? Lets get real. That’s up to us on an individual basis. In the difficult and not so difficult circumstances we face, I wish us both courage and great skill, as we face our choices. Welcome to our life. Welcome to our koan. Welcome to our moment to find out precisely who we are.

May We Practice Our Life Well,