I'm in the process of finishing an audiobook called "Living Without Stress or fear," by Thich Nhat Hanh, and wanted to share a few takeaways this week. It's been a wonderful book to listen to, with a lot of clear, unambiguous pointers on practice.
The most recent point Thich Nant Hanh made that I could take to heart is when he said, "When we talk with others, am I watering the seeds of kindness?" Which also implied, or am I watering the seeds of unhappiness or unkindness when I interact with others.
Though I have this feeling that I want to "Water the seeds of kinds," what does that really mean? It's easy to mistake that pointer as being light, fluffy or soft. Conversely, when people hear such expression it's easy to think of words like "Hippie, impractical, bull crap" or "Fortune cookie philosophy."
Sitting with the principle of "Watering the seeds of kindness," I thought about my own experiences. Reflecting on my teacher, it was clear to see that he hits it straight with me, consistently seeming to focus on where I'm at, rather than where I'm not. He's direct and doesn't really soften things, often telling me the things that my "ego," does not want to hear. I also have a close friend who can be, just plain old blindingly direct and disarming. When I'm in choppy water, they point out what I'm genuinely facing, rather than what I might wish i was. That can make for awkward moments, but it creates a window wherein I can more live than just survive my life. Trust me when i say this.
When i used to train in Chinese martial arts, Shifu once said to us, "The people who love you will play it straight with you. If somethings doesn't seem or feel right, they'll let you know, giving you the opportunity to correct the difficult or potential problem. The people who don't care for you, will say and do nothing, to redirect you. They might see you heading for a wall and either say nothing or actually encourage your denial, for potentially a hundred different reasons. Because of this, cherish the people that will tell you the hard things that make you angry. In the end it really may help you, if you can see through it."
At the same time, "Watering seeds of kindness," can also mean, using kind hearted speech that unifies the moment, because there are time and situations that are tough enough on their own, without me needing to add anything to it. We need kind and caring speech to steady and reduce our fear, anger or even panic.
Throughout the day I can ask myself, "How am I with each others? Is my intent to help not just with quick fixes and enabling or a way of being that will some day be sustainable? Am I being a genuine friend or not? Am I talking and caring in a way that will open Heart-Mind or close it? If not, what is that behavior about and how will it help me to live out my life?
If you decide to, please think, feel and practice with this. Comment back and let us know how it goes. Daily we have many opportunities to learn from each other.
May We Extend Caring Through Our Life,
Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
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