digitalZENDO

I deal with a couple people almost every day, who are incredibly intense and only seem to see things from their personal perspective. Oddly they can lack a certain ability to simply listen, mostly because they are interested in their own agenda. It's a very difficult situation.

One person in particular just seems to surf waves of anger and hostility as he encounters people. He's impressively abusive and he doesn't even seem to recognize it. He seems always on the attack and at any moment ready to take it to people. It's kind of sad really, because I knew him before he turned into this guy. But then again, maybe he was always like this and just hid it. people can get pretty god at acting.

It's often frustrating to deal with him. When I interact with him, I am often thinking, "how can I harmonize and work effectively, with this person?" Usually it seems to no avail, because he so easily strikes out and attacks people. Sometimes, I think of him more as an emotional or psychological bully. How do you deal with that?

On this, I have no concrete answer (yet). It's a work in progress. But I can tell you what I do thus far. I do a lot of Zazen and do whatever I can to minimize my contact. Personally, I think it's always best to get out of the way of a charging bull. The other thing I tend to do is remind myself it's his baggage and not mine. I don't need to carry or internalize other people's negative luggage. The last thing is minimize my reactions, as much as possible and to be kind as possible (maybe as some point he will be in a space where he can honestly receive it). Though I'm not always successful, it does help a lot.

To become what he and others like him has a high price tag with it and would serve no positive purpose. It's not helpful to feed into the illusion/delusions of others. When I figure this one out, I will defiantly let you know.

May All Beings Be Happy and Free,

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO