A Difficult Moment

We had something of a scare last night. My oldest daughter fell and dislocated her leg badly. Her knee was 45 degrees reversed, she was in terrible pain and there was nothing that anyone could do. The paramedics where called and did an excellent job taking care of her. Eventually they got her to the hospital.

When I got to the hospital to meet the ambulance and my wife, it was a tough moment. You want to be able to reach in and protect your child or removing the suffering, but this is not always possible. What then?

As she laid on the hospital bed, in great pain, hooked up to many different machines and she's begging for the pain to be taken away - it's a moment that goes right though you and every thing becomes clear. There is nothing inside of that moment. It's total focus. The only other thing that Alex wanted was her parents and friend Kristi. We held her hand, let her know how much we love her and supported her in what ever way that we could.

Eventually the doctor was able to get her knee back into place. They then got her leg immobilized and she felt a lot better. Today we have to take her to see an orthopedic doctor to continue to work on her.

It's in those moments that as a parent that panic does not work. With Deb and I there was a kind of steady determination that took over. We could only offer encouragement, let her know that we where there and talk with her.

One other interesting thing that appeared was when Kristi encouraged Alex to breath from her hara and center her breath. This actually helped her. It was evident when her blood pressure went from 163/84 to 140/80. Zen (unification) was working. What could be more right than that?

When that happened I recalled, "It helps you cross the river when the bridge is down. It guide you home on the moonless night." That so-called "It," is what Eido Roshi calls Mu. The inexpressible will meet you, where-ever we are at and help us whether we know it or not. That is where I put my belief, faith and has been my experience, time after time.

This morning Alex is still in a lot of pain and as I mentioned, we will take her to the doctor and continue to help her, with a steadiness of Mind. There is nothing else to do, but This.

Gassho,

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO