Don't Give Up

There are times when calmness does not come naturally for me. And because it doesn't feel natural and perhaps even awkward, I have to work harder than usual to get to a place where I feel reasonably "okay."

This morning, sitting down for Zazen, my mind erupted when some events that I didn't notice I was still carrying from yesterday bubbled up to the surface. My head became like a dark cloud and it was difficult for me to get traction. I looked at my watch and only 6 minutes had passed and I thought about just getting up and trying again this evening.

In that instance something spoke to me and said, "Don't give up." Maybe it was just me. Maybe it was my Family. Maybe it was my teacher, Genjo Marinello Osho. Maybe it was the Sangha or something else. What ever it was, it was very clear and there was a momentary break in the clouds. I remained on my Zafu, gaining a toe hold.

When I completed morning zazen (35 minutes), I could still see he clouds within my mind, only now they where at a distance and I could gaze at them. I felt a little less burdened and feel as though I have some wiggle room to move emotionally. The key however is not to give up and hold on to fortitude (the spiritual strength for the endurance of hardships), in this moment and within this very breath.

It is worth me remembering, that though, wind, rain and cloud may come, nowhere does the sun fail to shine in this great universe. Those are not just words. That is the reflection of something which is really true. I hope I can hang on to that.

Namaste'

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO