Being who we say we are

It’s notable what has happened to Elliot Spitzer, Governor of New York. It’s the problem of the so-called “double-life,” in High-Def. One the one had you have someone that held themselves up as a paragon of virtue and ethics but on the other side of the coin he was caught up with what he was holding out to the public. Though it is in HD quality, thanks to the press, if has the opportunity to happen in numerous ways to every person.

In both large and small ways the real question is how do we reconcile what we are internally and externally? That’s a challenging prospect. This is the gift of Zen practice. We get to reconcile the versions of ourselves and genuinely be who and what we say we are.

There are moments when avoided zazen, if for no other reason than that I didn’t want to be confronted with the “double-life” issue. On one hand being seen as the “spiritual guy,” yet on the other sometimes feeling depressed on angry on the inside, even to the extent of feeling a little nervous or anxiety ridden around others.
So what did I do? Zazen! I don’t want to, it seems so hard. Do zazen and unify your heart! Will I start to feel better if I do Zazen? Sit and find out because only you will be able to answer that question. And still I say zazen, zazen, zazen. Nothing else. You don’t even have to think about those issues. Just concentrate on counting the breath or sit with your koan.

And as for Mr. Spitzer, he surely has some reconciling to do. But the bigger truth is he got "caught," in his duality. As people talk, stare and point at Mr. Spitzer as though is was an exhibit at a circus we could remember that every person has something that can and will be other than what hey say they are.

Eventually by practicing, things got better. It was like water that had sought and reached it’s own level. Of course there are tremors and quakes but this is okay and a natural part of the process. Through on-going practice things can and will continue to improve, but for me it means “Upright effort and practice, practice, practice.” There is nothing else.

Gassho,

Jaye Morris, Curator
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