Who Is It?

Over the past few weeks, I have been working very intently on my koan with my teacher. In the process, there have been some things within me that have either been "bubbling" or "simmering" beneath the surface. As these items simmer, it has been a little stressful. Where I have had a tendency to edit (soften) my responses and interactions with people, I've been much more direct and should I say, a little more my so-called "self." Since I'm in the process, it's a little too early to know, but we will see this turns out as a matter of process.

All of this led me to last night, where I was at a meeting. A friend was celebrating their 10-year "recovery" anniversary. As I was sitting there, listening, my mind was working the koan in a side alleyway. As I was listening to the person speak, I notion came to the surface of my mind. My Mind asked me, "who is it that you would rather be?"

Isn't that why people practice Zen, their religion, see a therapist or counselor, have a mentor or engage in some other sort of self-improvement activity? We sense or feel there is something that we are missing or not completing, perhaps not seeing or being. It's almost saying that we are not being our so-called "true" self.

So who is it that we would rather be, other than our self as we are right now, in this very moment? If we are not being our true self (implying that we are impersonating someone else), perhaps we can use our practice to simply, simply, simply drop that which was never real in the first place. The masks have to go, as a matter of expressing our authentic self.

Forever True Dharma Continue,

Jaye Morris, Curator
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