A First Step

Step One starts out, "We admitted that we were powerless over our addiction, that our lives had become unmanageable."

I'd like to start with the premise that the gravitational center of negative additions is based on "self-centeredness" and "self-obsession." While this core "operating system," is consistent, the ways it expresses itself aren't. There are alcohol, drugs, gambling, sex, co-dependency and emotions, just to name a few.

While there is the wide expression as shown above, what's interesting is the results tend to be the same. Just a few examples are anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, anger, frustration, demoralization, desperation, self-condemnation and loneliness. Sometimes we have the distinct impression that we are somehow "defective," and we reach outside of ourselves to fill what I sometimes call "the black-hole."

What can re-enforce our "addictive behavior," is our inability to see the destructive nature of how the self-obsession and self-centeredness plays itself out. In psychology and psychiatry the most difficult wall is known as "defense mechanisms." Common "DM's" are minimizing, rationalizing, externalizing, displacement, regression and reaction formation (saying you are going to do something healthy, but acting in ways that aren't)."

This state of being is Anti-Zen or disunification and it hurts a lot to live this way. This is not only true but for the others that we are involved with. What we do impacts others, because the truth is that we are all interconnected.

In building unification within ourselves and others, it requires a very different operating system. I have only been able to define this operating system as "Spiritual Principles. A few key one's that I've heard people express are "Hope, surrender, honesty, openmindedness and willingness." These tend to be critical to having a foundation that can grow and sustain the unification.

Of all of these principles, the one that I've found the most interesting is "surrender." I've heard a lot of definitions, most of them implying a loss or defeat. How I define surrender is not about defeat, but rather making ourselves available to the process of life... some might say recovery.

Here's an example. Visualize yourself in the middle of a lake. It's about 50 feet deep and your in trouble, your drowning. But then all of the sudden a life guard comes out. They are there to rescue you. But as they approach you continue to thrash about. The life guard tells you, "calm down, relax and I will be able to save you, please accept my help and I will be able to bring you into shore." You then have a choice to make. Do you continue thrashing around (psuhing away help) or make yourself available for rescue (and embrace support)?

Using spiritual principles as an updated "operating system" for our brain, provides an interesting window of opportunity for ourselves. We can move out of the 8x10 prison cell we may have been living in psychologically, emotional and spiritually. In living with and embodying spiritual principles we begin a process of waking up in our lives as opposed to kind of muddling through, simply hoping for the best. The key is committing ourselves to them. This is a practice/process and not an event. It takes time.

You thoughts and feedback are encouraged. I prefer discussion, because I can learn so much from others. Just click comments, if you'd like to post something.

May Your Life Go Well,

Jaye Morris, Curator
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