The Defensive Crouch

I've recently been reading "Hot, Flat and Crowded," by Thomas L. Friedman. If you haven't picked it up yet, I strongly encourage you to do so. It's a great piece of work and will get your brain thinking and moving in a positive direction.

I want to paraphrase something he said early in the book. "When people are in a defensive crouch," trust and honest communication don't happen. "Ideas are not shared, stereotypes are not dropped, and people don't connect."

The operative expression here is "Living in a defensive crouch." If we are living in a defensive mode, then to some degree with are going to hold back from the people that we are around, because we as individuals feel the need to protect ourselves. Why? Because we only feel defensive when we feel fear. We fear the attack or of somehow being run over spiritually, psychologically, emotionally or physically, because it negates who we believe that we are. And that my friend is frightening.

This line of thinking brings me to some questions. Do I live or act in such a way that I put people in a defensive crouch? Conversely, am I living or working somewhere that I feel like I'm in a defensive crouch? If the answer is yes to either or both of those questions, we are living in a kind of prison cell and it's time to figure out how to get out of it. Why? Instead of living, we are actually having what Viktor E. Frankel calls the "temporary existence," which can feel like a kind of limbo or purgatory.

If we are to be fully human and we want to live beyond the self imposed limitations, then we have to start looking at the choices that we make. For honest communication and trust to thrive, we have to find a way to move outside of the defensive crouch. Mind you, there will always be moments of fear, so what I am talking about are situations where it's a constant state.

Mahatma Gandhi once said, "Be the change that you would like to see in the world." In this instance perhaps we could strive towards being "mindful," enough that we are aware when we are putting others or ourselves on the defensive and look more closely at that situation. Maybe we can find something to change.

Once we find something that we can change, we need to do five (5) things:

1) Build motivation for change by getting clear with ourselves why we need to change. And we can ask ourselves, "what is the price of not changing."

2) Get some "fuel." What I mean by this is positive information and feelings that we are putting into ourselves. A great example is Friedman's book. A lot of times I use the Choboji podcast or listen to Wayne W. Dyer, Joel Osteen or Guy Finley. It offers different information to act on rather than some of the negatives that are in our head.

3) Develop an action plan. Be clear, specific and hopeful.

4) Take MASSIVE ACTION. Follow through on your action plan and consistently act in ways that will move us towards our goals.

5) Meditate. Practicing some form of meditation can be the path to unifying your mind, adding clarity and stability to our "Mind."

If you use any of these ideas, comment back and let us know what you did. Your is a benefit to others.

May Your Life Go Well,

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO