Soak and Then Scrub

This morning as I did Zazen, it was a process of constantly bringing my mind back and back and back, to my practice. I knew why it was happening. Someone at my office is going on vacation, starting today and while their away, I'm tasked with covering their position, as well as my own. Hench my brain was in planning and strategy mode, figuring out how I might proceed. I guess I felt like I needed to do that because as I woke up this morning, I noticed I had been grinding my teeth. Stress.

At the end of the sit, when the meditation timer went off, I was right in the middle of "Oh, and I need to do, this this and this." I was thinking, "The clear peak, feels a little cloudy today." Later as I dedicated the merit of the sit, to those who are suffering, I felt a little "I know this sit was not very strong, but what little energy I was able to focus, I give it freely to all Being."

Moments later, I was in the kitchen scrubbing out a pan that I had left to soak from last night. The baked food left in the bottom wasn't planning on coming out easily, so I put some soap and water in and left it, hoping cleaning it would be easier. It definately was.

As I finished by rinsing and wiping, the pan became my teacher. I clearly remembered and rejoined the truth that Zazen is exactly the same way. Zazen, Zazen, Zazen... Soak, soak, soak... Soften the hard places, within my mind. The anxiety, fear, sadness, depression, the feeling of at times being overwhelmed, whatever the negative emotion might be.

What might seem or feel like a stiffness or hardness, within my mind and body, allow the process of Zazen to soak and soften it throughly. By daily attention and practice, I can make it easier to remove the crud and malware within the mind. This enables me to be far more friendly with myslef, than when I'm not practicing and training.

It's in these moments that it can be good to remember that Zen is not a competition, to get the "Best Buddha Nature" award. It seems silly to say that, but that's what people frequently do. Zazen is about life and death. It's about, "Keeping it real," with myself and others. We are human beings, not human doings. Lets remember to gentley soak and then scub our life clean. Then we can be fully present to This moment.

Yours In Zen,

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
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