Not Ready For Zazen

Graciously and compassionately Updated by Rev. Genjo Marinello Abbot | Dai Bai Zan Cho Bo Zen Ji... | 10/26/09 - 12:03PM

On the fifth day of Autumn Sesshin, Genjo Osho gave a teisho called "Ten Bodied Heardsman." During the teisho, he made a very powerful point, that I thought would be good to share. The practice of Zazen is not for everyone.

Genjo Osho related, "As we know from mythology, a dragon keeps a jewel in its lair, a precious treasure, this jewel is symbolic of the key or source of reality itself. In Zen, this jewel is vocalized as Muuuuuu. Our job is to steal this treasure, but we fear that it lays deep at the bottom the ocean, kept within a locked chest, protected by a fierce dragon. Sounds difficult! Scary! Treacherous!

This journey and path of awakening feels like it is all these things. It is quite scary to go into the depths and vastness of multidimensional True Nature. It is difficult to face the rigor of arduous training, which strips away the walls of our defenses. Our fences segregate self and other, bumpkin from Buddha, right from wrong, life from death. To take down these barriers —artificial as they may be— is to lose the self and that can be problematic if not sufficiently ready. It’s odd but you must have a positive sense of self to lose before you can dynamically and positively lose your self. And it’s very true that, for someone who —because of karmic circumstance or biological imbalance— is schizophrenic, zazen is contraindicated. Schizophrenics don’t have the ability to distinguish self from other, dream from waking; therefore, they don’t have sufficient confidence in “self” to lose it.

Also, anyone who has been severely beaten down, abused or abandoned possibly doesn’t have a firm enough grasp on a positive self-image to maturely fully release self. Remember zazen is stripping away the barriers between so-called self and other, if you are not ready for this release; it will be frightening and confusing. Whether or not we are fearful, if the boundaries of self are released prematurely, we become overly vulnerable, sensitive, suggestible and susceptible and this can be outright hazardous. It is also possible that some in this category relish the familiar feeling of loss of self, and essentially hide from their past in this familiar feeling, never really fully facing their history or wounded personality.

In any case, it is very likely that how tenaciously we hold on to a sense of separateness is directly proportional to how much we need to hold on to our sense of self. There is something right about how tightly we hold on. We hold on as long as we need to hold on. We are all here trying to let the barriers and defenses drop away, but we must realize that we naturally hang on as long as we must, because if we were to let go prematurely, it can be very messy and actually lead to one or more kinds of mental breakdowns rather than breakthroughs.

Occasionally, when someone is attracted to serious Zen practice before they have developed a sufficient dynamic “self” and has a breakthrough or even gets close to a breakthrough, it can manifest as a nervous breakdown or even a psychotic break. This is far from a funny situation, it is not to be taken lightly and may be dangerous. Because once you’ve lost self prematurely it can be so frightening or confusing that we lose touch with reality, we may perceive that others are against us or out to get us. We may feel we are immaterial or even invisible, and we may become forever fearful that we will lose self repeatedly. For such a person, they may never be able to return to serious Zen practice in this lifetime

While traveling deep into the dragon’s cave, at first the trek appears to be a great distance, a highly guarded pathway, arduous and fraught with danger, but in reality this journey is none of these things. The jewel we are looking for is already as bright and unmistakable as the morning star, as immediate as a flash of lightening, as embracing as the morning wind, as ubiquitous as the morning dew, and as unavoidable as the rays of sun or the sound of rain. It’s so close, there’s no distance at all! And yet, as close as this jewel is, our defenses can be thick. And, to the extent that it takes a long time to wear them away, that is just what’s necessary. This process can’t be hurried and it shouldn’t be hurried, even while we remain quite persistent about it. It will take as long as it takes, and for good reason."

Reflecting on Genjo Osho's words, I instantly remember what his Dharma Brother Junpo Denis Kelley, Roshi once said to me. Junpo said, "If you look at the Noble Eightfold Path, Zazen doesn't come til near the end of the list. The first thing Buddha encourages is "Right Understanding."

Pointing the mind inward in such a focused way, is not easy. It's not a game or to be cool. Zazen is a part of a process to know and experience Zero. As I stated yesterday to some friends, it's like climbing Mount Everest. If your going to make the climb, it's best to be as prepared as possible. Zazen comes with the readiness of time. We have to be conditioned so that we can withstand the journey into the blue dragons cave. Otherwise we might not survive. No kidding at all.

Yours In Zen,

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Comments

[Anonymous]

wow thanks for that, always felt the same but its good to read it from somebody else. still, what is recommended in such cases as a practice beyond learning about right understanding? go for ego for a while? really interested to know, thank you.

[jayeZERO]

Simple.... The rest of the Noble Eightfold Path. It's right here in front of us...

1. Right Understanding
2. Right Thought
3. Right Speech
4. Right Action
5. Right Livelihood
6. Right Effort
7. Right Mindfulness
8. Right Concentration

Please also note, that the Eightfold Path may have been laid out a specific order. Too often do we start at the end and not the beginning.

Also please be aware that my teacher "Genjo Marinello Osho," has graciously and compassionately edited and expanded on his teisho.

Deep Bow,

// Seiho