Overwhelmed with the Task

This morning a friend posted a tweet that said, "At the desk. Overwhelmed with the task." That's what they were doing or who they were being at that moment. And then I thought, "We're at this life. Overwhelmed with the task," and I laughed. True is true.

This morning as I sat zazen, in my right palm I laida small picture of John Daido Loori, Roshi, as I've done everyday since his transition. As I sat with my breath, I heard the droplets of rain which descended from the clouds, bouncing off the roof, the ground and the leaves... encouraged by thunder.

I heard my own teacher, Genjo Marinello Osho saying, "When the dragon calls, mists and clouds arise. In Chinese mythology, it was thought that when great clouds clamor, rise up and thunder with lightening and rain — a dragon was calling. The dragon was thought to fly up to the heavens through the mist, the clouds and rain making a bridge between heaven and earth, a pathway for the dragon to climb."

I could really feel the imprint of these words. It was at that moment I remembered "All the Way to heaven is heaven." True is true again.

There have been a lot of times that I've felt confused, overwhelmed, frustrated, disappointed, insecure, doubtful, uncertain, alone and perhaps even depressed. Why? Because I can feel as though I'm failing my life. There's no one that wakes up and says, "I want to fail..." And despite our best efforts, we may not be able to fulfill our personal standards and goals in the way that we would prefer and then we criticize ourselves.

At the moments that I allowed my heart-mind to be eclipsed by negative emotions, are the very same moments that my heart shuts and I can go deaf, dumb and blind. We can become hypnotized and put to sleep, forgetting who we truly are. I like to think of it as a kind of amnesia, as we walk around in our life, asking people where we are, what's our true name and feeling like we're in the so-called wrong place and time.

As I've practiced, I've noticed that every thing and every one has consistently has been pointing in a singular direction. That direction for me is that We are infinitely and fundamentally Buddha (Awakened). It's all here, if I stop averting my eyes and heart.

In "The Song of Zazen," the very first line reads "Sentient being are primarily all Buddhas. It is like ice and water. Apart from water no ice can exist. Apart from sentient beings, no Buddhas can be found."

In a short text of what's called, "Bodhisattva's Vow," is reads "When I, a student of Dharma, Look at the real form of the universe, All is the never-failing manifestation of the mysterious truth of the Tathagata (the Awakened One). In any event, in any moment, and in any place, none can be other than the marvelous revelation of its glorious light. " Put another way... everything and everyone is in fact no other that Buddha... Awakened Mind.

I'm really intrigued by people being so sure they are not Buddha. I sometimes want to ask, how do you know that you're not? How is it that you're so sure? We don't even bother put a check or filter on all the negative, self-condemning thoughts, feelings and emotions, believing them without question. And yet someone says', "You're Buddha" and the person says, "Prove it to me. I think your full of crap and putting me on." And that's when I reply, "I okay with it. Prove it to yourself."

There are many difficult things in our life. Okay. I agree. But we have the ability to be resolute in our fortitude to dissolve the difficult... the negative... and overwhelming emotions, that would paralyze, harden and freeze us. Zen practice is the unification our heart, mind and body. Zen softens the hard places. Zen is the moment when we spontaneously smile or laugh, because we see "It." Though it's awkward to say it like this, "Zen is you and me, without the seams. Unifying our life doesn't have to be the overwhelming task.

There is something else other than being at the desk, overwhelmed with the task which faces us. There is something other than being at this life and overwhelmed by that task, as we face each other. Snow melts and water nature transforms and releases. Live and be well.

Yours In Zen,

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
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