Stranger In Our Own House
Monday, December 14, 2009 at 6:26AM After sitting zazen yesterday, I had the feeling that Zen practice provides a window of opportunity to be the owner and host rather than a guest and stranger, in this very temporary form called Seiho. That sense was quickly followed by the question, "How many times have you settled for being a guest or stranger to your life, feeling like someone strapped into the passenger seat and taken for a ride, through life?" That answer is more times than I'd care to admit.
Being a guest or stanger in my life is a rather easy state to arrive at. All I have to do is be inattentive, not showing up mentally... emotionally... intellectually... allow myself to get bogged down in the messy circumstances of life. It's life on autopilot, because I'm not mindful. Decisions... Choices... Actions... all seem to be taken by someone else or the circumstances that seem to have a life of their own. It's indeed not so hard to feel as a guest or stranger, not having the surefooted confidence of host or owner of being on one's own home court. There are many things can feel like a disadvantage rather than advantage.
Mastering our life, having confidence, becoming the host and owner doesn't happen by accident. It requires training... practice... conditioning... consistent effort... tenacity... attentiveness... fortitude... appreciation... a sense of compassion... and the ability to be resolute in the face of adversity. This is especially important since our ego can so skillfully misguide us from our goals and sense of who we see ourselves as genuinely being.
In the way of Zen, striving to unify my heart-mind, Genjo Marinello Osho, my teacher is always reminding me... "Please sit some more... Go straight ahead... Continue... Never finished... Not yet... or he asks What is This?" He's not kidding. There's no time to waste.
In my life, no matter how much progress I'd like to think that I've made. No matter how far within my being that I feel that I have journeyed, seen and become, there is always a little more I can do, so that I can become the True owner and host of my life... If we don't seize This moment... If we don't seize This breath, we become a stranger in our own home. In some ways it's as though we have abandoned ourselves. Living in such a way, may not be so good. Let's be diligent in facing our life path. We are more than capable of being the Owner and Host of This moment called our life.
May Your Life Go Well,
Jaye seiho Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO
Reader Comments (1)
Oh! yes, that is a realization I come to often, particularly when I catch myself, not having been mindful at all, for an extensive stretch of time. This sense of not being present to myself, usually is all I need to remind me of mindfulness vow, and what a gift it is to just be here.
deep bow,
marguerite