Open Being
Wednesday, December 23, 2009 at 6:03AM This morning after zazen (sitting with unified mind) I remembered a Taoist expression "Each day that I wake, I make my mind a blank slate, to write the new days lesson upon." My internal dialog said, "It's sooooo tough to drop what we think we know... the labels... the book knowledge... our collected facts and figures... the past reference points of experience... the habit and patterns... the effort to predict... and just be truly alive, fresh and open, like entering a room for the very first time." I call this "Open Being."
The effort to dust of my psychological blackboard is a powerful exercise for my life that I've been experimenting with. When I run into people that I know or deal with on a regular basis, the moment I get that sense, feeling or thought that I "know," what's going on with them, I make the conscious effort to drop the it. I say to myself, "Drop the labels, drop the history, drop whatever you think you know. See, hear and feel them, as though this was the very first time you've ever met."
I noticed when I started working with my mind is this way, how much I can put people in a kind of "box," filled with labels. I noticed that I do this to gain a sense of comfort and security about the person that I'm dealing with. In attempting to gain that sense of security, I realized some things that I needed to ask myself. "Am I seeing you as you are or am I seeing you as my labels and views define you? Am I narrowing who you are? Are my labels and mental-map of you getting in the way understanding what you're expressing in the moment? Do I have the skills... the compassion... to make the moment more spacious, so that I can experience you differently?"
This experiment has proven helpful, because I've noticed and experienced things with people that didn't match-up with the labels that I had been carrying in my mind. I was able to see them and myself in a new light, even if that flash was for 3 minutes. Those lightning flashes have a way of expanding and adding appreciation.
To be honest, practicing with "Open Being," sometimes results in feeling some pain, for various reasons. But other times there was a definite relaxing of tension in my interactions and significantly improved the relationship that I had with the person. It's a window of opportunity to see and feel the moment with the person as it is, rather than what we are projecting.
In closing I'd say, the practice of "Open Being," is simply making the effort to see, feel and experience a person, without allowing the past to some how contaminate the present. It also means not attempting to guess or predict what the person is going to do. It's harmonizing and connecting with exactly with what's presented. Yes it's very difficult, but yes it can be very helpful and rewarding. Just make the effort.
May Your Life Go Well,
Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO
Reader Comments (5)
I love how the universe pushes gentle in the direction we want to go, and sometimes shoves you where you need to be.
As I awake I like to do it slowly and not rush into the day, to take the moments needed to help me centre myself in the joy and excitement of the day to come.
I found myself this morning bolted out of bed by the phone and gave the poor person on the phone all my anger, shock, frustration at not finding the phone.. and in that moment I failed to see that none of it was their fault. I apologized and went back to bed to redo the waking of the day.
Yes we do bring everything we know about people with us everytime we look at them. As I have been changing myself I see the changes of people around me. It is hard to look at people I have known forever without seeing the 'label' cloud, but I try everyday.
Thank you for shareing this.
I came across this apology to one of my sisters this summer.
"I'm not mad at you, I'm just trying to understand my judgements of your life"
It helped me stop judgeing her and see her in a totaly new light.
"May Your Life Go Well" what a wonderful way to sign off :)
Luna. I am going to borrow that quote, please. I was recently "judged" by another and dismissed as a result of the verdict, but not part of the discernment process. Much of the testimony was to do with his misunderstanding, or mystery of my depression and his fear of it.
My comments on the blog: a true lesson to me...I don't just judge ideas with the belief system in my mind - which is a mosaic of thoughts and lessons and interpretations (mostly illogical) that have been set years ago. I have the power to not only re-frame these, and inject more powerful/positive energy, I can leave them completely and have no judgment, as you say in your blog.
The harsh part of winter is seeing the barren trees. The beautiful part of winter is seeing more because the trees are barren. The same is true for me.
In my barren-ness and vulnerability, I am more genuine and authentic, less apt to conceal what is not productive.
I rant.
My apologies.
Peace.
Kelly
Luna,
Thank you so much for sharing so authentically and candidly. In your note to your sister, this is wonderful way to wake up to This Life.
~Seiho
Kelly,
The so-called "harshness," of winter and the "fluidic," nature of spring, two side of the same coin, but still, just one life.
Reframe... Refocus... Reimagine... Reawaken... moment by moment.
~Seiho
In my work I have lots of labels (we call drawers in German)and professional life gets superficially easier, but in the long run it only closes doors, that should have been kept open. I don't think I can "make my mind a blank slate", but maybe a palimpsest is feasable. So I like to "just make the effort".
Thanks as usual.
Lothar