Caught by Your Own Trap

Last night I ran into a friend. He shared how a little while back he was at a conference where "His Holiness The Dalai Lama," was giving talks. He said that one point that he wasn't quite sure how to interpret it was when the Dalai Lama dropped the "F-bomb."

My friend went on to say, "and to make matters worse, on Sunday you had all these people show up, who probably skipped church and boom it happened again. He used the F-word a second time and those people weren't laughing." My spontaneous response was, "Ha! He broke your box." My friend said, "But he's the Dalai Lama." I laughed. I told him, "That might be a problem for you, but I don't think it is a problem for him. He gave You and everyone else there a great gift, when he dropped the F-bomb."

I told him, Once, early in my counseling career, I was in a clinical staff meeting. We where going over patients and presenting cases. At one point, one of the other counselors was going, on and on and on about a young lady. She was saying how the patients weight is a problem to and needed to be factored in to her treatment, because she was so-called "fat" and that "it could effect her self-esteem."

After a while, I asked the counselor, did the patient see her weight as a problem or barrier to recovery? The counselor said, "no." I said, I've seen that patient you're talking about, she doesn't appear to be overweight. Who has the problem with her weight, You or her? The counselor insisted it was "the patient," but some months later, the counselor entered a facility for eating disorders.

My friend laughed. he said, "I think I see your point. My reaction doesn't really have anything to do with where His Holiness is, it's where I am. In my mind, I had him being a particular way and when he didn't act or say what I thought he should, how I thought of him dimmed a little. I was confused because I didn't get what I was expecting." And I replied, "Yep. You got caught in your own trap. It happens to me all the time. There's no reason to feel bad about it, just exit the cage." We bowed, laughed and went on our Way.

Namaste'

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
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