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There are some times that I have done what I call, "Tinkering around the edges," when I needed to make some changes. It was me doing "just enough," to keep people off my back, get by and trick myself into thinking that I was actually doing something. It's akin to the time I asked my daughter to clean her bedroom. I had gone to check on her about an hour later to discover that the room was still a wreck and she was laying on the bed. When I asked her what she was doing, she said, "Strategizing how to clean my room." Talk about a Hallmark moment as a dad.

Anyone who has practiced Zazen for any period of time has been confronted with the "Tinkering around the edges," scenario. I can tell by my attention and focus (or lack thereof). When there's something that I am avoiding, my Zazen practice changes. I start having trouble staying in tune with my practice. I might start dozing off or falling asleep, have more pain in my knee than usual, my posture might be lacking, I am unable to maintain focus on my koan, I am much more easily distracted in my thoughts. I call this state "The Tar-Pit," because really change is going to be difficult to reach, cause I'm stuck.

This happening brings up a good point. Genjo Marinello Osho and Genko Blackman Ni-Osho constantly instruct, when practicing, "Don't hold anything back." In other words, give 100 percent, not 99.9 or not 100.5, just 100 percent. That is enough. Put another way, give of myself in such a way that I am not tinkering around the edges, get in the thick of things and be resolute!

When I am resolute and applying the spiritual principle of fortitude, I have the capacity to push a stone boulder up a hill. When harmonized with practice, it's like carrying a sword that can cut through anything. Forget that these moments are so few and far between. What matters is when we have the sword that we use it. There's no nibbling around the edges involved. There is only doing or not-doing and that we are decisive in the moment.

My closing thoughts are, if I settle for so-called "tinkering around the edges," I am settling for half a life. It's as though I am saying, I'd rather live as a ghost than be a full and complete "Human Being." That is a rather shallow form of existence for a life that is so rare and precious.

There is a part of a dedication in the Chobozenji Sutra Book that seems to fit extremely well here.

"Past, present, future,
All Buddhas, Bodhisattvas,
Ancestral Teachers, [All Patriarchs Dai Osho]
Let True Dharma Continue,
Universal Sangha Relations,
Become Complete."

In Gassho,

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
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