Zen Without Jargon | Part III

Small note, as we dive in today. These are my personal experiences. They are not meant to be "authoritative." It's one person on the path of Zen (Unification) sharing mond with another traveler. And with that...

Huang-po said, "I did not say that there was no Zen; it's just that there are no teachers of Zen." This is a very elegant statement which might be one of the most misunderstood expressions and has been reduced to misleading jargon. At one point, I had a friend who was sitting and regularly asking me about practice. Eventually I said, "Maybe You should start working with a teacher." Huang-Po's quote was his response... sigh.

My personal experience is that, there "Are" teachers of Zen and I'm thankful for that. In fact while some avoid sitting with a Sangha and authentic teacher, I love the fact that I have both available to me. Zen Buddhism is a "Team," practice and by working together it accelerates the likelihood that we can stop deluding and tricking ourselves. Having a teacher does not indicate that I am somehow an incompetent human being.

In discussing this, I'll share my experience from two angles. First will be what "Cho Bo Zen Ji Sangha members have taught me and second what Genjo Marinello Osho has been like as a teacher so far.

During Spring Sesshin (7 day practice intensive), I hit a rough spot in koan practice. At the time I could not see, taste, touch or feel it. It was so bad in fact that I didn't want to go back for what is called "Dokusan," which is a private meeting with Your teacher to discuss practice. Why not go back? I was embarrassed. I didn't want to seem, not on my game or look stupid, in front of someone I deeply respect.

I mentioned my problem/dilemma to a Senior student, asking how they would proceed if in a similar situation. The response was, "I've been exactly where You're at. Go to dokusan and fess up. People get in front of Genjo Osho and want to look good or impress him. Drop it. The truth is that he's not there for us just when we are at our best, but also when we are at our worse, really needing guidance and support." Pow! True is True.

After that exchange, I spent pretty much every moment, trying to connect deeply with the koan, but I just couldn't penetrate. I was a "Ford Fiesta" stuck in a 100 foot deep mud pit. The next time dokusan was available, I went. When I sat down, he just kinda looked at me. I restated the koan and then said, "I'm lost, lost, lost," and bowed my head, disappointed. He gave a laugh that let me know that he has been there too. He then proceeded to provide direction and guidance, saying "Turn is this way..."

As I left the dokusan room, a heaviness drained from me. I was not climbing Mount Rainer alone. I was among friends. What was a problem or barrier for me, was taken from my hand and I could go forward, even if only inch by inch. That's okay.

In terms of the Cho Bo Zen Ji Sangha, here's a few more examples that might give you a wider sense of why I love them so much. One Sangha member emails me images of his photography where the only response I can feel is, "Yes." Another writes emails to me just sharing day-to-day experiences, reminding me to be resolute. Another reminds me that I am even in moments that I might feel unsure and alone, I have friends who love and care about my well being. Another told me, "if Your knee is really hurting, sit another way and when your knee is ready, resume your traditional posture." And Genko Kathy Blackman Ni-Oshō made Green Tea, demonstrating how tea bowls/cups are in their own way, very much alive too. These examples are very tiny snapshots of what Is so much larger.

Speaking directly of Genjo Marinello Osho my Teacher. Though there are standard definitions for what we "think" the word "Teacher" means, my experience is those definitions tend to fall very flat. The meaning cannot *really" be fixed though we attempt to make it so. I can only say he encourages me to go straight ahead. He shares his experiences but he always encourages me to notice and embrace my own [authenticity], not his.

I am a so-so sports fan. One thing I notice about the amazingly gifted and talented athletes, who are in many cases paid millions of dollars, because of the extra-ordinary gifts, all have coaches. Show me one that doesn't? They have blinding talent and yet still need encouragement, guidance, support and eye that can cut through and see circumstances as they are. So too for those of us who sit on the Zen seat. We have dazzling talent, but still... It's said that Buddha had at least One, though surely more students with deep and penetrating insight that I'm 100% sure surpass my own. And still they sought his support and guidance. That's a fact, not supposition. I like to remember that, because when I get out in the weeds alone, that reality brings me back to the path.

I've know many people who have talked and shared how they had or have searched for and found their teacher. In my case, he found me. This is just Further evidence that as Eido Tai Shimano Roshi (Genjo Osho's teacher) once said, "As much as you think you choose your life, Life chooses You too."

All the vectors within my life experience have directed me to my Teacher and Dharma Brothers and Sisters at Cho Bo Zen Ji. As Genjo Osho recently said, "Lift your feet up and left the water carry You," as though I was in a float inner-tube raft, moving down a river. Being his student is as natural and correct for me as breathing air. No jargon in that, Just True.

In closing, some of my experiences, You might regard as kind of mushy and sentimental. Trust me when I say, they're really not. No bull, Zen is a life or death climb for me. Like it or not, some day, some moment, that won't be of my own choosing, I will come to the clearing at the end of the path with this temporary body that is guaranteed to fail me.

What will I say of myself. What will other's say of me? That I tried to make the climb and know the Dharma selfishly on my own or that I got their though accepting the help and support of my Teacher, Sangha and All sentient beings. Our life is not a test. Our life is an absolute miracle and gift. I have no intention of wasting this opportunity, Complete the puzzle of my life on my own.

Love All - Serve All - Every Single Day,

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Update: Point of clarification. When I use the term "Authentic teacher," I am speaking strictly in a traditional Buddhist sense. I mean a Teacher who is a part of a "Dharma lineage," that traces it roots back to the Buddha. Additionally These persons have been authorized or okay-ed by their own teacher to do so.

There is no "one" line, but many, many, many branches on the tree, spanning many countries and cultural backgrounds. By way of example please go to the American Zen Teachers Association, membership page. That might improve your idea on what I mean by "Authentic," if my explanation has not been clear. ~In Gassho, Seiho