Change or Die

"Change or Die" by Alan Deutschman is a book that I recently read, not just once but twice in the last month. I enjoyed it that much.

The premise of the book revolves around the idea that "impossible change is possible." To make lasting change happen, we need to move away from the old model of the three F's. This is better know as "facts, fear and force." The newer model or paradigm to live in and embrace is what Mr. Deutschman refers to as the "three R's." They are "Relate, Repeat and Reframing."

The book travels through compelling case studies and anecdotal experiences which are easy to understand and clearly see how people grow physically, emotionally and spiritually. It is also made plain how we can deconstruct instances and times that we don't make needed changes so that we can give ourselves the opportunity to move beyond what we might think are failure patterns.

To me the difference is striking how we can resolve and dissolve challenges. Using the old "Fact, fear and force," model, was usually in an ongoing battle with myself. A lot of interesting labels came up. Something would go "wrong," and instantly I'd start beating up on myself. Whenever I do that, I start compounding problems. Genuine and sustainable progress can be extremely difficult to come by.

In using the principles of "Relating, Repeating and Reframing," it almost like learning to be a friend or positive ally to myself. There was no need for things like devaluing self talk like, "How could you have been so stupid to make that kind of error," or using words like "can't," or "never." I developed the ability to use self-helping words and mental frame works. As soon as I did so, I created a psychologically and emotional future that I could uphold and sustain.

There's a lot we all could learn by applying the principles in "Change or Die." It's down to earth, direct and doable. We just have to make the decision to change and over time, build on that foundation to improve the quality of our life. Remember, "Relate, Repeat and Reframe."

Namaste'

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO