The Freedom to Be Okay

Genjo Marinello Osho’s latest published teisho is called, “Rhinoceros Fan,” given at the recent Summer Sesshin (trans. “To gather the Mind) of 2009, held at Dai Bai Zan Cho Bo Zen Ji, in Seattle Washington. Genjo Osho at one point in the teisho describes his experience in a particular Sesshin with Hirano Katsujo Roshi and Genki Takabayashi Roshi in a way that is so ordinary, incredibly subtle yet really breath-taking, if we hear it well.

Genjo Osho relates, “I had a made vow with Dr. Glenn Webb who is the founder of the [Seattle] Zen Center to try and do the whole Sesshin in full lotus. And I remember coming up to a certain sit, we had stretched our legs and we were going back into full lotus and pulling up my outer leg and it wouldn’t go. And it let me know it wouldn’t go, because I let out a yell…. Ouch!!!!!!, in trying to pull it up. It was a little embarrassing but I just knew immediately that’s not happening, the leg’s not going up there, so I went to half lotus and it wasn’t a problem. It just had to be. It couldn’t be any other way, that this was going to be a half lotus sit and not a full lotus sit, and we were only in it a couple of days, so my vow to do Sesshin in full lotus collapsed… out of necessity, which is just fine.

We make these commitments to ourselves and we intend to keep them and that’s good. And then circumstances change and we have to be prepared to go with the circumstances. We have to adapt to the circumstances, as they exist right now.

Transcend the delusive attachments, the deceptive ideas and all kind of entanglements. This is what we are here to do. This is what we are sitting on the cushion to do. These delusive attachments, deceptive ideas and all kinds of entanglements arise like weeds. They are usually defenses of some sort. Even though they may come out as rejections they usually defending our ego state, they are defending our survival. And on that sense these delusive attachments and deceptive ideas and all kinds of entanglements, we have to say gassho, as in thank you or gratitude for trying to protect me and help with my survival.”

On one side of the coin, his words can seem very plain, illustrative and instructive in terms of being an experience with Zen postures having difficulty and changing up to fit what the body needs to us. But there is the other side of that coin… the inside meaning. It’s always something that’s out in the open, but We don’t always notice it.

Speaking plainly, there are times when I am faced with situations or circumstances and I collapse, just like Genjo Osho. But unlike Genjo Osho, it’s not out [always] of necessity, but rather that I feel inconvenienced by it. This can be expressed in many ways for me. Examples are telling myself to give up because something it taking “too long,” Minimizing, procrastination, thinking, feeling and focusing on the “unfairness” of something. The mind is very good sometimes at letting us off the hook when we face things that are not to our taste or liking. Determination and compassion towards ourselves, becomes critical so we can get back up when we fall down, in difficult moments.

Genjo Osho goes on to encourage us to “Be kind and accepting of our very complicated, very primitive, very necessary, attachments deceptive ideas and all kinds entanglements and get to the place in our practice or training where we can say thank you but no thanks, not today… I’ll be okay, I’ll be okay even if I don’t survive.” Eloquent and beautiful like a clear blue sky, no matter what the season.

I encourage you to listen to the entire teisho. He goes much farther, hitting on many other points, offering us our freedom, independence and ability to be okay. After listening, come back (please) and comment your thoughts and feelings, as it may help to benefit and teach me what I and others what I may have missed.

In Gassho,

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
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