Caught by the Momentum

The other day, I made a request on twitter that people send in their ideas for blog post topics. It's part of my initiative to open things more and hear what people are interested in. That being said, val_forrestal suggested "We could all use help disengaging from the drama and politics at work." Agreed.

My personal experiences in work place drama and politics is, it's frequently an expression of fear. Fear can be like having an cold, in the sense you can have many symptoms and if you focus just on treating the symptoms, you never touch the disease itself and so it lingers, continually keeping us in a weakened state.

The symptoms are well know and each of us has experienced them many times. Territoriality, rudeness, gossiping, devaluing, approval-seeking, game-playing, overt and covert undermining, avoidance and intimidation to name a few. Because these symptoms can tug and spin us around in gut-level ways, it's easy to get hooked on them because of the emotional response and miss the fear that causes such actions.

Inside or outside of work, when I notice or feel a lot of turbulence, I sometimes visualize a balloon that's about to pop. I ask myself, how can I gently let the air in the balloon, so that it doesn't explode or fly out of control. This is a metaphor that I use that really is following my teachers consistent instruction to "harmonize," with all aspects of my life. I like to remind myself that when it comes to drama and office politics, I need to be responsible for myself. I might be able to influence people, but it's really not my job to control, but manage. There's a difference. The possibility of influencing others has the best results coming by demonstrated integrity.

In Zen Buddhism it often seems that the zafu (meditation cushion) is the place where most of our practice takes place. The simple fact is, "not so." The seat of meditation is anywhere we sit, stand or walk and use every opportunity to practice "staying present," being fully with the moment, seeking harmony (Tao). Personally I have found It's simple but frequently difficult. It's because I can second guess my intuition and feelings, defaulting to strict intellect, forgetting that deciding which to follow doesn't have to be an "either or," situation. Intellect and emotion need be harmonized and balanced, as with the Tao.

The practical example is about 7 years ago, I was working in a marketing department with a supervisor who was always into drama, very political and fairly negative. Emotionally and intellectually, I allowed myself to buy-in and be influenced into fear, because of the endless drama and politics. The fear played itself out with me as anxiety, depression and anger. I was pretty unhappy. I was so emotionally rung-up, I couldn't even make it through a 20 minute sit, because my mind was so distracted and had so much restless energy. I was drowning in unsettled emotion.

One day, on a drive to work, I was listening to a Wayne Dyer audiobook called "There's A Spiritual Solution to Every Problem." He said a lot of things that struck home. But the thing he said that helped me the most was when he said, "I invite you to bring the people that are cause you problems to me. I will counsel them, fix them and you will feel better. Isn't that what your expecting?" That's when I knew, the solution wasn't going to be in my supervisor changing, it was going to be the changes that I made. And that's what I did. I harmonized my intellect and feelings, taking massive action in my life.

Once I took responsibility for myself, replacing a fearful mind with a open-hearted and compassionate mind, things changed for me. I was depressed and angry far less. I could look at people and smile honestly. Options opened up and my happiness expanded even more. I didn't feel like I was suffocating emotionally or intellectually. I stopped being a victim of circumstance.

With experience and time, I know what it takes to effectively live within a place where there is constant drama and politics going on. I've had my intellectual and emotional relapses. But what seems to help is thinking of myself as a kidney dialysis patient. Toxins are always building up in my body and I have to find a way to cleanse my intellectual and emotional blood. The cleansing process comes is a daily activity for me. If I don't practice daily, I can (potentially) get swept away by the negative momentum, regress and start to drown again.

Daily, I practice Zazen mindfulness across all areas of my life. I sit Zazen (sitting to unify mind), but I also am reminding myself to focus on my responsibilities and just "stay," mindful and "present," engaging as little as possible in the drama and politics. I am always pumping positive information into my brain, by the use of regular books and audiobooks. It serves as a powerful counter-weight for the drama and politics that goes on. I also make an effort to eat healthy. Crappy body fuel breeds crappy life interactions.

In closing I would say, no matter where we go, there is always going to be drama and politics. It's unavoidable, even in a church or monastery. But just because it's there, doesn't mean that I have to join in and add to the negativity. I always have a choice. And that choice will ultimately decide how I feel, not only about my work, but what my life means to me as well. We don't have to be caught in by the momentum. We can enter the village with helping hands, assisting and tending to those who are suffering, including ourselves.

May Your Life Go Well,

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Comments

[val]

Thanks so much for this post, it was truly inspiring to me! Can I ask your advice on one issue though? I agree with all you say about removing yourself from the drama, and taking control over yourself and your actions, but is there any way to deal tactfully with someone who you really like and care about, who is very negative at work? I don't want to completely distance myself from them, or admonish them (because really, who am I to tell others how they should act?), but I would like to maintain a good relationship with them, just without letting them drag me into their negativity...

~val