Passing Counterfeit Zen
Thursday, August 20, 2009 at 7:07AM In the Dhammapada's translation by Eknath Easwaran, in the introduction there part of a paragraph that reads, "Instead of seeing life as a flux, we insist on seeing what we want it to be, a collection of things and experiences with the power to satisfy. Instead of seeing our personality as it is-an impermanent process-we cling to what we want it to be, something real and separate and permanent... From this comes suffering, the frustration and suffering that are the human condition." This harmonizes very well with my post yesterday about Genjo Marinello Osho's teisho, Buddha's One Language.
In my life, I tend to suffer most when I have a fixed idea on how something is "supposed," to be rather than harmonizing with it as it is. When people, places and things don't live up to the painting or image that I've drawn in my mind, I can feel very hurt... limited... cut off... less than. And all because my expectation was not matched.
In my day-to-day practice, I've learned to dissolve some of my expectations, letting people-places and things be what they are, without my grandiose interference. People, places and things don't always need my editorial imprint. Day to day challenges and life are variable. There's a reason for that. What is yes today might be no tomorrow, depending on the circumstances that "I" create in my mind. Having the intellectual and behavioral flexibility to commune with this fact doesn't come easy for most of us.
Once I was talking with Eido Shimano Roshi about something. I gave him a particular answer and he said "Okay." The next day I went back. We had pretty much the same conversation. I gave him the same answer and he said, "No." I asked him, "Why was it okay yesterday but somehow wrong today?" Eido Roshi looked at me for a moment and then rang the bell which meant "leave."
Exiting the room, my face turned hot and a realized I was mad. I was thinking "He's not playing fair, that was crap, how could he say no?" By the time I got back to my sitting place in the zendo, I knew what happened. It wasn't about him, it was about me. The day before, my mind and body feel harmonized and seamless. It felt like there were no gaps or edges. But the next day I went back and though my voice said "Yes," my sitting, walking and bowing all said "No." I had tried to hold on to the glimpse that I had from the day before, but came up kind of short. I went in to see Eido Roshi half-hearted and he knew it. Zen practice is not being "Memorex, but really Real." I was mad because He caught trying to pass "Counterfeit Zen." Busted! I later went back and apologized. He laughed and nodded.
Zen is about "This" moment, not so-called "That" moment. Zen is about This very breath, not the breath I took 24 hours ago. I have a friend named Bo who once told me, "We can only enter a room as new, once. Don't try to hold on to the newness of the experience or else the experience of the room cannot grow and expand into something else that can be useful to You." Put another way, If I try to hold on to a past feeling that I had about You and project it into this next encounter, I kill the present moment that I'm having here and now, with You. After that, anything is that moment is just, "Passing counterfeit Zen."
We can encouage each other to be authtentic. We can encouage each other to be Open-hearted. We can encouage each other to be fully present in This moment and no other. But we have to do the leg and footwork not to pass Counterfeit Zen.
May All Beings Be Happy & Free,
Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO
Reader Comments (5)
I enjoyed the read. Thank you.
wow. so very fitting for me today.
mu.
banzan.
You hit the mark right on for me today too. Are you psychic? (jk) thanks. ~ Happi
LOL. But I am more than happy (no pun intended) that we are capable of sharing the same Mind.
In Gassho,
Seiho
It's like Mumonkan's CASE 26. TWO MONKS ROLL UP THE BLINDS // http://www.angelfire.com/electronic/awakening101/mumonkan.html