All My Mistakes
Thursday, August 27, 2009 at 6:33AM Soen Nakagawa Zenji once said, "See everything with hara, not just the eyes." The hara or some call it the tanden is located about 1 to 2 inches below the belly button. That is where our so-called center is. That is the location where Mind can be opened and connected too. Seeing is not going to happen in the so-called head.
In learning to see with the hara, rather than the eyes has the capacity to change how we see ourselves and our life. When I'm seeing from my hara, It alters how I feel, react and behave. I sometimes notice it as "true seeing."
Tuesday evening I was coming home and came upon a busy two-way stop. When it was my turn to go a woman on the other side stomped on the gas (I assume she was in a rush), cutting me off and almost running into my car. We both had to stop. Despite my having the right of way, she and a gentleman in the truck with her started yelling at me and throwing paper and other things out their car window. They looked and seemed really angry. At first I didn't say or do anything other than stop. I actually felt neutral and was waiting for them to continue on. I didn't see the need in getting stuck in anger over a simple traffic mis-negotiation. But they continued to carry on, yelling and throwing plastic cups, paper and things out their car window. Eventually, though I didn't feel mad and without thinking, I gave them the middle finger, looked at them quizzically and they moved on. I hope Guitei wasn't disappointed in me.
As I continued on, I felt a little startled by my behavior. I mentally scanned myself and didn't sense or locate anger towards the people, yet almost like the involuntary response of a doctor tapping my knee with a mallet and leg bouncing up, I gave them the finger. I literally asked myself, "What was that? What part of me seeing that moment, everyday mind or Awakened mind?" Though I continued to feel neutral about the people, I didn't feel neutral about my reaction.
In truth, despite years of practice I can still be surprised at what I see or learn about myself. It feels like there's plenty left to explore, as I practice moving things from my "head," down to my "hara." It's okay that I need to do that. I am not yet complete.
In clsoing there's a song that I like very much called, "All my mistakes." At one point the lyrics go...
"I was born in the goodness of grace.
And because of faith, because of courage, because of forgiveness,
All my mistakes have become masterpieces.
And there comes a time,
You must stay in the moment while your heart's still bleedin'.
And there comes a time
When you must walk away though your heart's still beatin'."
I do ineed hope that all my mistakes to become masterpieces, learning to see things from my hara, instead of my everyday eyes.
Love All, Serve All, Every Single Day,
Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO
Reader Comments (5)
Thank you for this, this is a lesson we all forget much too often.
Thank you for this, this is a lesson we all forget much too often.
Day before yesterday I was driving home by a different route to call at my parents' home. Shortly before exiting the highway I was overtaken on the right side, the guy nearly bumped into the car in front, then cut in front of me to the left. - Well I didn't give the middle finger, but I honked!!! Felt real good afterwards and exited the highway.
I had a similar experience myself, the other day - was very embarrassed to find myself flipping a bird. However, it really was a great opportunity to learn - a mindfulness bell, even - and I'm glad I experienced it.
Thanks for the song reference - looked it up and I'm really enjoying it.
EdaMommy,
Thanks for sharing You "moment." I too agree, on the learning opportunity. As for "All My Mistakes," It is an easy reminder of what I could be doing, when I go away from the Way.
In Gassho,
~Seiho