People Can Be Crazy

A friend once told me, "Guilt works on everyone that doesn't really need it. For those who could use it to moderate their behavior, it doesn't even make a dent." True.

There's a fact that can be useful to us, as we live our lives. Sometimes people are crazy. We've all had our moments where out thoughts, feelings and behaviors don't match up to the external circumstances that we find ourselves in. We can sometimes do the exact opposite of what's needed to help others and ourselves. Because people can be crazy, off base, not of sound mind and inconsistent, we have to be careful not to carry other people's non-sense.

Last week, someone took something I said and ran with it, magnifying and exaggerating the words, beyond all recognition. Once I noticed what was happening and saw they were lunging at me psychologically, I decided not to react in the same way. I went quiet. As I got quieter, they actually got louder. Despite this effort, they continued to escalate even more and I thought, "Wow, this can't possibly end well." They didn't know how to disagree without being disagreeable.

In the process of getting louder, as is typical in our society, they got really rude and inappropriate. All the sudden, they were cursing, throwing out all kinds of labels at me and basically telling me what my problem was as a human being. While, I didn't personalize it or get angry with the person, I thought about what they said, telling myself, "Seiho, take your inventory, maybe some of this applies. Check it out."

As I had time to sit with the words and the other persons vitriolic performance, I noticed something. What they had charged me with was precisely what their behavior had been. It took me some time, be I was able to see that the person that they where looking at wasn't me. It was themselves and at the same time projecting what they saw in themselves onto me.

In the past when people would criticize me, I'd accept it, with no questions asked. Part of the reason I did that was based around my low self-esteem and having a kind of fatalist attitude that whatever I got I deserved. After some time in with Zen, unifying my heart and mind... just a little, I came to see that living that kind of storyline was a bunch of crap and not helpful to me. It was all smoke and mirrors, containing no genuine content.

When people are criticizing, offering put-downs and labeling, they aren't doing that so that we can feel better. They are doing so that they can. It's a symptom of a dis-ease that can live in the mind. With there is dis-ease, there's always a need for anger, vitriol, gossip, spite and aggression. You'll find gap, holes and burned bridges everywhere. For some, it's their heroin... their addiction.If we accept their problem as ours, that's called co-dependency and the net-result is that we ourselves can become very ill too, if we are not careful and taking care of our mind and heart.

Yesterday I mentioned Genjo Marinello, Osho's teisho, "Three Turning Words." If you listened to the complete teisho, there was a point when he said, "We can use our every day circumstances as a point of practice." What a useful toe-hold for climbing a cliff-wall. A lot of Zen can and does happen on the cushion. True, true, true. But Zen is happening everywhere else too. These are all opportunities to unify and harmonize the mind.

In this particular moment, in this particular case, I decided not to assume ownership for their dis-ease and crap they spouted. If they feel the need to hold their negative feelings, that's their choice. I'm not so powerful as to be the one that can disarm them. Sometimes the true act of compassion is saying, "No thank you," and walking away form the situation. It's kind of like being with a person who is very drunk or high on drugs and we're sober. We can't really get to the space they are, because they so screwed up at the time. It's better to let go, rather than hold on and try to make sense of it.

In closing, some might say, "We're all capable of being crazy, so what You're saying doesn't get at the complete situation." And I will respond, there's times when being a relativist, will put you in the mouth of a lion and get you devoured. Personally, I'm in favor of improving upon my life, not only for the sake of myself, but all sentient beings. Just because other people are being crazy doesn't justify we have to fold and give in to their thinking and behavior.

Unify Your Heart,

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
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