The Skills of Unhappiness

I recently finished reading "Happiness: A Guide to Developing Life's Most Important Skill," by Matthieu Ricard. Initially I was skeptical of it. To my own surprise, I never really thought of happiness as a skill, but rather a result, based on something "favorable," happening. As I waded more deeply through his pages, words, experiences, reflections and practiced Zazen with them, the more clearly I was able to see and feel what happiness as a skill could mean. I noticed I did indeed miss something.

In the process of digesting Ricard's book, I noticed something else to in my range of vision. Looking back, though my experiences, I was able to see how my unhappiness was a cultivated skill too. Yikes! That had never occurred to me, up to that point. I had always felt like, my moments of unhappiness sprung out at me from behind a tree, car or wall, like something that happened "mystically," for no apparent reason.

As I sat with "Unhappiness as a Skill," I could clearly trace patterns that I either intentionally or accidentally nurtured, promising to leave a frown on my heart-mind. Upon examination, breath by breath, I was able to see and feel the skills of unhappiness. On top of that I noticed that I managed to invest a staggering amount of time and energy to not just be unhappy but to stay that way.

What was it that Gollum said in J.R.R. Tolkien's, Lord of the Rings. "My precious [the ego] is Trixy." Here are a few ways that I've been trixy with myself in the past, cultivating skills of unhappiness:

1. Focus on what was going wrong, ignoring and deleting was was going right.

2. Holding on to mental and emotional scripts/narratives leading and expressing unhappiness, without testing them to see if they are capable of being re-written, dissolved or even true.

3. Nurturing wounds and making tepid efforts in healing or cultivating happiness. As one friend put it, "Sometimes... not all the time... self pity is self-manipulation."

4. Isolating. An odd truth is that by getting out, sharing time and doing things that might be helpful to others tends to redirect my mind and emotions.

5. Poverty mentality. If our mind that has difficulty appreciating what is present, open and available in this very moment, unhappiness is guaranteed.

6. Self-Centeredness or self-obsessed thinking/feeling. The basis of not just survival but growth is based on the principle of We rather than me. We are interconnected and entangled, not just in this lifetime but far beyond time itself. I live with you, not without you. This is my most basic truth.

Most of what I'm describing would fit neatly under the heading of "Self-defeating behaviors." Thinking, feeling and actions that have the net-effect of chopping ourselves down like a tree. Skillful unhappiness is often reached by a cumulative effect, rarely a single instance or event. In the end we often call these things our "baggage."

Matthieu Ricard's, "Happiness: A Guide to Developing Life's Most Important Skill," is a worthy companion to share time with. Happiness is indeed a skill. We have a choice. Our life isn't "just happening," to or at us. We are influencing, shaping, cultivating and creating with our mind, all the time. We can Awaken our heart-mind. We can practice smiling, rather than practicing frowning. Developing the skills of happiness is doable, it simply requires practice.

May Your Life go Well,

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Viruses of the Mind

I just finished reading "Virus of the Mind: The New Science of the Meme," by Richard Brodie. I decided to read it, based on a recommendation by Wayne Dyer PhD. It's a really good look at something called a "Meme" and how more often than not, they are guiding and directing our behavior, often in ways that are not necessarily self-helping.

In short a meme is "An idea, concept, belief, thought, project etc. that is transmitted verbally or by repeated action. Memes propagate themselves and can move through a ‘culture’ in a manner similar to a virus." From my view memes can appear rather overly simplistic but incredible powerful at the same time. Brodie through great supporting examples shows that our programming starts when we are very young and continues to expands at the light speed as we get older.

As Brodie discusses "Mind Viruses," which are basically Memes truly run-amok, I was reminded about how much random code we have in our brain. These memes don't even really belong to us, yet at the very same time, limit the quality of our life experience in many subtle and profound ways. In fact, after deeper consideration, it was interesting to trace how easily it to pick-up mind viruses. Though the process of zazen, I can see them in very clear and obvious terms.

A great and recent example is someone shouting, "Government health-care is going to create death panels," and without ever having read the bill or thinking through what was actually said, numerous people were pulled into an "everything and the kitchen sink" battle. All eyes, attention and spotlights were given to someone who made a two sentence post on a facebook page. That's illogical, but people fell for it. The mind virus spread like a fire in a dry forest.

As mind viruses relate to me personally, I have known many. Men have to be strong. Crying is not okay. Money is power and security. Going to college is always better than not going to college. Value and worth are established by what you can provide, rather than just who you are. Mom and Dad will always do the "right thing." And on and on the list goes. Random bits of code clogging our life experience.

The interesting thing that Brodie points out is that mind viruses don't have our best interest in mind. Mind viruses like biological viruses take on a life of their own to support themselves, not you or I. In fact mind viruses can mutate and spread beyond what the original intent of the meme. We are just hyper-convenient carriers of memes. That's important to note. People die or live very painful situations, because of mind viruses all the time.

Towards the end of the book, Brodie talks at length about ridding ourselves of our mind viruses and in some measure, gaining management over our mind in such a way that we can have improved life experiences. What was really interesting was how he suggested doing it.

One suggestion he made was using something know as Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP). If you have any familiarity with Tony Robbins, that would give you a good start which is approachable. The second suggestion is Zen Buddhism. He relates that because a significant part of practice is learning to focus and train the mind, particularly though koans, in the process memes are frequently dissolved. Because the mind focuses and stills, clarity of mind sees beyond the mind viruses and "artificial distinctions can be dropped." Please note, this by his own description is a process and not an event.

I strongly suggest giving "Viruses of the Mind," a read. The motivation? It offers a skillful pointer to get outside of our life ruts and move forward, rather than repeating and maintaining circular patterns of self-defeating behavior. I hope you find it as useful as I have.

Namaste'

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Change or Die

"Change or Die" by Alan Deutschman is a book that I recently read, not just once but twice in the last month. I enjoyed it that much.

The premise of the book revolves around the idea that "impossible change is possible." To make lasting change happen, we need to move away from the old model of the three F's. This is better know as "facts, fear and force." The newer model or paradigm to live in and embrace is what Mr. Deutschman refers to as the "three R's." They are "Relate, Repeat and Reframing."

The book travels through compelling case studies and anecdotal experiences which are easy to understand and clearly see how people grow physically, emotionally and spiritually. It is also made plain how we can deconstruct instances and times that we don't make needed changes so that we can give ourselves the opportunity to move beyond what we might think are failure patterns.

To me the difference is striking how we can resolve and dissolve challenges. Using the old "Fact, fear and force," model, was usually in an ongoing battle with myself. A lot of interesting labels came up. Something would go "wrong," and instantly I'd start beating up on myself. Whenever I do that, I start compounding problems. Genuine and sustainable progress can be extremely difficult to come by.

In using the principles of "Relating, Repeating and Reframing," it almost like learning to be a friend or positive ally to myself. There was no need for things like devaluing self talk like, "How could you have been so stupid to make that kind of error," or using words like "can't," or "never." I developed the ability to use self-helping words and mental frame works. As soon as I did so, I created a psychologically and emotional future that I could uphold and sustain.

There's a lot we all could learn by applying the principles in "Change or Die." It's down to earth, direct and doable. We just have to make the decision to change and over time, build on that foundation to improve the quality of our life. Remember, "Relate, Repeat and Reframe."

Namaste'

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Shobogenzo and a Little More

I came across a website called, "Numata Center for Buddhist Translation and Research." To my amazement, they offer the PDF downloadable version of the complete Shobogenzo, written by Dogen Zenji. It's widely considered to be one of the greatest literary works in Japanese history. And to top it off, the four volumes are FREE. I paid $100.00 for the paperback versions, several years ago. It's very kind that they are offering it this way.

This translation is the one by Gudo Nishijima and Chodo Cross. It's well done and digestible. In addition, they also have translations of "The Platform Sutra," as well as the "Vimalakirti Sutra." Check it out and enjoy. You can't go wrong on this one.

Oh and I last thing. I'm can't remember if I menioned it, but there is another FREE translation of Dogen Zenji's Shobogenzo over at Shasta Abbey. That one is complete and nice too. To download the "complete" book, click the very first link in the sentence. It may not be obvious to you at first. The links further down are to single sections and chapters.

In Gassho,

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Breath Sweeps Mind - Book Review

I finished Jakusho Kwong, Roshi's book "Breath Sweeps Mind," in audiobook format. I downloaded it from Audible.com (I have no affiliation beyond being a subscriber, I just like their service and prices).

Though packaged as a book (spoken by Jakusho Roshi himself), the sections or chapters where broken down into 45 - 60 minute sections. This made it kind of perfect to sit in zazen with and listen to them as interconnecting teisho (Japanese expression for "place where the truth is.") rather than "just" a so-called book. His presentation itself is quite an experience.

The teisho/Dharma talks carefully build upon each other. His voice and teaching is authentic and he laughs often. There where a few moments that may even move you to tears, because of how warmly he shares experiences and stories. Despite having practiced Zen for almost 20 years, I heard some "new" things that I found refreshing and gave me renewed energy. One example is where he says, "One thought is not thinking. Two thoughts it thinking, because it is thoughts connect to other thoughts. That is thinking." I never looked at it that way and found his talking about this as immediately useful.

I recommend "Breath Sweeps Mind," to new and old Zen hands. He easily speaks on many levels at exactly the same time which is a rare gift indeed. A good example is when he is talking on various methods of sitting zazen and practices while sitting. He generously adds his own experiences and insights which serves to create a three-dimensional mosaic that is both enlivening and stirring.

"Breath Sweeps Mind," is almost seven hours in length and broken down into nice themes and topics. By description Sonoma Mountain Zen Center he covers such things as:

• Step-by-step guidance in the art of zazen, including natural unshu breathing
  
• Engaging with emotions and physical pain
  
• Why delusion is inseparable from enlightenment
  
• The true meaning of emptiness
  
• Nemitsu nokafu: the spirit behind enlightened Zen action
  
• How to cultivate the “natural composure” of samadhi
  
• Instruction in the “cosmic mudra” for upright sitting
  
• Bowing practice as “the true fruit of Zen”
  
• Subject vs. Object: how to view the world in nondual terms
  
• The root of all struggle – and how to transcend it
  
• How fear leads to truth
  
• Lessons in kinhin: “slow walking” practice
  
• The physical body and the unseen body
  
• More than seven hours of Zen teachings, stories, and poetry – plus a detailed glossary of terms
  

If you've already listened to "Breath Sweeps Mind," please feel free to add your own thoughts and comments, so that others have an opportunity to benefit from your insight and experience. If not, listen and enjoy.

Happiness,

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO