The Skills of Unhappiness

I recently finished reading "Happiness: A Guide to Developing Life's Most Important Skill," by Matthieu Ricard. Initially I was skeptical of it. To my own surprise, I never really thought of happiness as a skill, but rather a result, based on something "favorable," happening. As I waded more deeply through his pages, words, experiences, reflections and practiced Zazen with them, the more clearly I was able to see and feel what happiness as a skill could mean. I noticed I did indeed miss something.

In the process of digesting Ricard's book, I noticed something else to in my range of vision. Looking back, though my experiences, I was able to see how my unhappiness was a cultivated skill too. Yikes! That had never occurred to me, up to that point. I had always felt like, my moments of unhappiness sprung out at me from behind a tree, car or wall, like something that happened "mystically," for no apparent reason.

As I sat with "Unhappiness as a Skill," I could clearly trace patterns that I either intentionally or accidentally nurtured, promising to leave a frown on my heart-mind. Upon examination, breath by breath, I was able to see and feel the skills of unhappiness. On top of that I noticed that I managed to invest a staggering amount of time and energy to not just be unhappy but to stay that way.

What was it that Gollum said in J.R.R. Tolkien's, Lord of the Rings. "My precious [the ego] is Trixy." Here are a few ways that I've been trixy with myself in the past, cultivating skills of unhappiness:

1. Focus on what was going wrong, ignoring and deleting was was going right.

2. Holding on to mental and emotional scripts/narratives leading and expressing unhappiness, without testing them to see if they are capable of being re-written, dissolved or even true.

3. Nurturing wounds and making tepid efforts in healing or cultivating happiness. As one friend put it, "Sometimes... not all the time... self pity is self-manipulation."

4. Isolating. An odd truth is that by getting out, sharing time and doing things that might be helpful to others tends to redirect my mind and emotions.

5. Poverty mentality. If our mind that has difficulty appreciating what is present, open and available in this very moment, unhappiness is guaranteed.

6. Self-Centeredness or self-obsessed thinking/feeling. The basis of not just survival but growth is based on the principle of We rather than me. We are interconnected and entangled, not just in this lifetime but far beyond time itself. I live with you, not without you. This is my most basic truth.

Most of what I'm describing would fit neatly under the heading of "Self-defeating behaviors." Thinking, feeling and actions that have the net-effect of chopping ourselves down like a tree. Skillful unhappiness is often reached by a cumulative effect, rarely a single instance or event. In the end we often call these things our "baggage."

Matthieu Ricard's, "Happiness: A Guide to Developing Life's Most Important Skill," is a worthy companion to share time with. Happiness is indeed a skill. We have a choice. Our life isn't "just happening," to or at us. We are influencing, shaping, cultivating and creating with our mind, all the time. We can Awaken our heart-mind. We can practice smiling, rather than practicing frowning. Developing the skills of happiness is doable, it simply requires practice.

May Your Life go Well,

Jaye Seiho Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

Stringing the Beads by Marguerite Manteau-Rao

Today we're doing something special. It's the "The Great Buddho-blogging Article Swap" I feel very fortunate to have been paired with Marguerite Manteau-Rao from "MindDeep." Without further adieu...

It is tempting, especially as a beginner on the path, to keep on looking for more guidance, more knowledge from outside sources. Reading the many Dharma books, attending talks, browsing through Buddhist websites, seeking answers from teachers . . . While all have their place, I have become convinced of the importance to take a leap of confidence, and to just start walking the path, without always seeking another hand to hold on to, or more knowledge to stand on. If I still had any doubts, last night’s dream put them to rest:

I am looking at a catalog of beaded bracelets made by an ex-prison inmate. I notice one in particular, made entirely with Buddha beads. I want it. I look at the price. It is quite expensive. Then I realize, I already got a beaded bracelet kit in the mail. I open the envelope, and find several Buddha beads, along with other round, semi-precious beads. I like the lapis ones best. No need to buy Buddha bracelet. I can make my own. I start sorting and arranging the beads, making sure to include all the Buddha ones. I am thinking I need to get some string, then, remember string must have come with kit. In my haste, I must have overlooked it. I find a piece of transparent string lying somewhere, and wonder if it will be long enough. Also, how can such a fine, almost invisible string do the job? I start stringing the beads.

Dream stayed with me all day. I kept thinking, no need to wait, I’ve got all I need already. I have understood enough about the Dharma teachings, to get started on the path. Just keeping my lofty vow of daylong mindfulness should keep me busy for a while! As my art teacher once said, don’t keep on thinking about your project. Instead, start doing the work, it will teach you. Awakening to the Buddha’s truth is no different. Reading, talking, writing, about the theory of practice, all have limited value, compared to the actual act of practicing. Got to keep on stringing . . .

The other part of the dream touches upon the value in not counting on the experts, in this case teachers, to do all the work. Sure they may have liberated themselves from the prison of mind already, but their prison is not ours, and the way out is different for everyone. I am the one who has to string the bracelet, not my teacher. Each new insight joining the previous one, until full Buddha nature becomes realized. I have found, if I sit long enough, it is often possible to get out of spiritual impasses on my own, without the help from my teacher. Each time, my awareness muscle gets strengthened. Of course, this does not mean, not asking for help when absolutely necessary.

Marguerite Manteau-Rao

Just The Beginning

Genjo Marinello Osho gave this Teisho recently at the November half day retreat at Chobozenji in Seattle, from the Gatleless Barrier entitled "Gutei Raises A Finger," Case number 3.

Talking of his pending trip to Dai Bosatsu Zendo for Roshatsu Sesshin he says, "...Give over completely to this process of unfolding and awakening... of opening the heart and realizing the One. One as represented by Gutei's finger is not the beginning of things however. The One is the manifestation of everything, in all Its myriad forms. Every corner, every spec of dust, every grain of sand, every drop of dew, every leaf is shouting at us about the wonder, mystery, brightness and brilliance of it all. But mostly we fail to see.

Perhaps the reason that we fail to miss the One in its myriad forms so brightly shining at us, that our heart isn't constantly open is that we're still or perpetually attached to self. And what do we do about this attachment that comes with the territory of being a corporeal being and is motivated by our instincts for survival, to have enough and get ahead?

Zen Master Dogen said 'To study the Way is to study the self. And to study the self is to forget the self.' To get past our ever recurring clinging attachment to a sense of a separated self-hood. It's not easy, because again we are born with these instincts for survival. It's not easy, even once in this lifetime to get past it... to breakthrough to the wonder of This all around us.

But even if we've been so fortunate to have encountered Zen or some other skillful means, to penetrate past our sense of self. And even if we've had a great revelation and a breakthrough or opening, having come to a great peace of mind and an open loving heart... that in Zen circles is considered just the beginning."

And this too, is just the beginning or Genjo Osho's teisho. Given that my teachers words are seamless and they cannot be improved upon by me, I strongly encourage you to listen and digest it whether you feel like your heart is boundless or not.

If you'd like to give yourself the opportunity listen more deeply to Genjo Osho's teisho, you can listen for free to the Choboji Podcast, either listening to it within your web-browser, downloading it, from the website or get it through iTunes. This is a True gift of Dharma.

Forever True Dharma Continue,

Seiho, Curator
digitalZENDO