digitalZENDO

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Wading across water

"It helps you wade across the river when the bridge is down. It accompanies you to the village on the moonless night." A very beautiful verse.

It by now you all know what "It" means - Buddha Nature. This is very slippery. Very elusive. Very difficult to pinpoint. Buddha Nature, Mu, helps you across the river when the bridge is broken. The human journey is a pilgrimage.We are all pilgrims, and on the way there are hills, mountains, fields, deserts and rivers. To be more precise, anxieties, frustrations, confusion, death, separation, illness, insecurity, broken bridges whether we like it or not. It helps us - Mu helps us, Mu realization helps us - to cross the river when the bridge is broken. Quite often the bridge is broken."

Eido Shimano Roshi
Excerpt | Points of Departure - Zen Buddhism with a Rinzai view

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Wednesday, March 19, 2008

How will we answer our own 3AM call?

Yesterday Barack Obama gave perhaps one of the most important speeches of our life time. His "straight talk" give us something to seriously reflect upon and consider. This moment presents an opportunity for us to drop some baggage mentally and spiritually. Yesterday, I was not proud to be an American. I was proud to be a so-called "Human-Being."

As John F. Kennedy inspired a generation to leave our planet and travel to the Moon, my sense is that what we are presented in this video is our own "Moon trip." How each of us responds is an individual matter, despite the fact that we are all interconnected.



Namaste'

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

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Thursday, March 13, 2008

Ummon Streches Out His Hands

“Transcending life and death. Actualizing Zen spirit he casually cuts through iron and nails, he lightly moves heaven and earth.” So begins the latest teisho (i.e. place where the truth is) of Genjo Marinello Roshi of Choboji, entitled Ummon Stretches Out His Hands.”

As ever Genjo Roshi delivers a lively expression of not of so-called “zen-spirit” but Zen (unification) itself. During his teisho he encourages us to share our realization of Buddha (one who is spiritually awake – 360 degrees) nature. This is not as we understand it but know it at this moment. With surgical precision - goes on to point out that “Zen is always pushing us deeper. Always telling us that though we are whole from the get go we are never complete. That we are always learning and that there is always more to learn. And that though right at this moment we are perfectly imperfect, we always have further to go. We are always pressing on, no matter where we are in our training or our practice, to more depth, greater realization and deeper actualization of our practice and training in our ordinary lives.”

As I listen and consider what he’s saying, I’m encouraged not just to think about what is being said, but some how to experience this moment. Not to think compassion but to be compassion. Not to talk about friendship but to be friendship. Not to talk about being a dad but being dad. Not just to embrace but to embody allowing for fewer points of separation and gaps in my life.

Please know that you can download the Genjo Roshi’s podcast using iTunes or Switchpod.com for free. Please keep in mind that podcasts are not just for people with a "iPod" but any computer or MP3 player.

Love and Respect,

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

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Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Remembering a dear friend

I blogged about Ronnie Graham, a dear friend of Deb and I who passed away last month. I wanted to share his Obituary, though it only a very small glimpse of a profoundly kind and compassionate person. He is love and miss him.

Light In Extension,

Jaye and Deb

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Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Ronnie

Last night when I came home, Deb gave me some bad news about one of our friends who is very dear to us. Our friend Ronnie came to the clearing at the end of the path. He was only 34 years old. We where both very shocked and very saddened by this and our heart goes out to his Mom and Brother.

Though you probably don't know who Ronnie was, I feel compelled to tell you about him and what made him so very special to Deb and I. He almost always had a smile and an embrace for you. He knew how to hug people not only physically but mentally and emotionally as well. He was off-beat and wickedly funny. Deb said that was never a time that they hung out that they had a bad time. I looked back through my mind and knew that to be true.

He seemed comfortable within his skin. When he had moments of difficulty, he didn't hold it in or pretend, but rather shared it and released it. It was like he knew that holding on to pain was like trying to hold on to an anvil in deep water. It would only take you down. That was not his style. He liked floating. As a part of his compassion he was a vegan. He didn't believe in harming anything or anyone. He lived as an open and honest person and though he didn't set himself up to be a positive example, he really was. A interesting way his integrity showed up was that when post of the people where around him and partying, he never did. He didn't need artificial crap inside of his body. He knew he was okay as he was.

It may sound odd to say, but he easily reminded people as a better version of the John Cusack character in the movie, "Say Anything." He was a really, really good and loving guy and we miss him. I hope these words give you a feel for the person that he was and is to us. As the ears fill our eyes, though I am Buddhist, these are the only words that make sense to me right now.

"The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures; he leads me beside still waters; he restores my soul. He leads me in right paths for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I fear no evil; for you are with me; your rod and your staff—they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord my whole life long." - The 23rd Psalm | NRSV

Love,

Jaye & Deb

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Saturday, January 19, 2008

Transformation

I came across of photo essay by Jack Radcliffe entitled "Alison." It's very moving to see the visual transformation of his daughter, as she travels through her life. It made me think of my own daughters and got me wondering how things might turn out.

If you check it out, comment back and let me know what your impressions are. I would be interested to hear what you noticed.

Namaste'

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

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Sunday, November 18, 2007

Small can be really big

I was thinking this morning on the story of Buddha holding up a single flower. In doing so the gesture expressed all Dharma. My mind then reflected on Gutei Zenji and how he would hold up a single finger, and so as Buddha expressed all Buddha Dharma that he did too. Something so small reflecting something so big, even more profound as Einstein's E=MC2. Beautiful.

Later this morning, i was helping my daughter clean up her room. Just by the small act of vacuuming the floor, the entire room looked and felt different, to me. I asked my daughter if she noticed the Zen teaching. She replied, "the floor is clear?" I said, "yeah, isn't it nice." Internally the sentence "things are not as they appear, nor are they otherwise," from the Lankavatara sutra appeared in my mind.

Yes, the floor is clear and perhaps the rest of the universe as well." To me it was like her room decided to hold up a single finger and I recognized the unfortunate problem for myself is that at this time I can only understand perhaps only 1/1000th of what the room is really saying. I'm still just hitting around the edges. Perhaps by my "small" day to day efforts, eventually I may understand not just the room but Gutei's finger and maybe even Shakyamuni Buddha's holding up a single flower. Small really is very big and the big things are often very small.

Happy Sunday,

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

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Monday, October 8, 2007

As Einstein See's the World

I came across "The World As I See It," by Albert Einstein. Though short, he opens some interesting rooms to explore.

Namaste'

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

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Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Where Do You Live?

"People do not generally live in their actions, in the present moment. They live in the past or the future. Though they seem to be doing something now, here, they live somewhere else in their thoughts, in imaginary problems and worries, usually in the memories of the past or in the desires and speculations about the future. Therefore they do not live in, nor do they enjoy, what they do at the moment, with the work at hand, and naturally they cannot give themselves fully to what they appear to be doing."

Walpola Rahula
Excerpt | What the Buddha Taught

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Thursday, September 6, 2007

And the Answer is 42

Such is the mighty answer and key to the universe, if you believe "Hitch-hikers Guide to the Galaxy." On the other hand it is another birthday which brings me to the age of forty-two. This naturally flows to my thought for the day.

"Am I accomplishing the things that I really want?" The answer is a mixed bag. In terms of my family, friends and career, yes. This yes comes with the caviate that I am always looking for opportunities to improve and connect better with others and myself. Experience says that comes with working on ourselves. On that basis, that is the best gift that I could give myself and others.

It's on that basis that I will continue on the Eightfold-path of Upright Understanding, Upright Thought, Upright Speech, Upright Action, Upright Livelihood, Upright Effort, Upright Mindfulness, and Upright Concentration. There is still some much work to do. Especially in coming to learn how to evolve with and live each of these principles.

Happiness,

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO

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Monday, September 3, 2007

Anywhere But Here

"People do not generally live in their actions, in the present moment. They live in the past or the future. Though they seem to be doing something now, here, they live somewhere else in their thoughts, in imaginary problems and worries, usually in the memories of the past or in the desires and speculations about the future. Therefore they do not live in, nor do they enjoy, what they do at the moment, with the work at hand, and naturally they cannot give themselves fully to what they appear to be doing."

Walpola Rahula
Excerpt | What the Buddha Taught

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Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Emanations of the Buddha

"Like the reflections of the moon that effortlessly appear in any body of still water, a Buddha's emanations spontaneously appear wherever living beings' minds are capable of perceiving them. Buddhas can emanate in any form whatsoever to help living beings. Sometimes they manifest as Buddhists and sometimes as non-Buddhists. They can manifest as women or men, monarchs or tramps, law-abiding citizens or criminals. They can even manifest as animals, as wind or rain, or as mountains or islands. Unless we are a Buddha ourself we cannot possibly say who or what is an emanation of a Buddha."

Geshe Kelsang Gyatso

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Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Each Others Light

I was at work yesterday, when a friend informed my that another mutual friend by the name of Wayne W. passed away. For me Wayne was significant because more than 20 years ago when I went to my first 12 Step meeting and he offered me a hand of friendship and invited me to come in and listen, greeting me as "friend," as I stood out in the hallway supporting a wall.

Wayne was frequently able to express tremendous insights about addiction and the process of recovery. He once said, "Love is taking delight in someone else's well-being." another time he stated, "Recovery has nothing to do with strength and power as we normally think about it. It's about surrender and not having to fight the process of recovery (including the people we love and who love us)." I had been so dazed by my addiction, those expressions and ideas became beacons which I could follow. He showed me that when we are lost and feeling uncertain that we can be each others light. I am deeply grateful to have know him.

Bowing with Head Touching the Floor Nine Times,

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO.com

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Monday, July 23, 2007

The Value of This Life

This morning I am writing my thoughts from an unfamiliar location. I'm in Pittsburgh, preparing to attend Ben's (my brother-in-law) funeral. My actual thoughts are from the evening gatha...

"Let me respectfully remind you,
Life and death are of supreme importance,
Time moves swiftly like an arrow,
and opportunity is lost,
Each of us should strive to awaken,
          Awaken!
Take heed. Do not squander your life."


True, true, true. As I move within my life, I am admonished to use and appreciate each moment as precious and in the end rare. How long will I or any of those that I know live. 70, 80, 90... a hundred years?

Yesterday while at Ben's Wake, my Uncle David, who is now very old said, "Is my memory accurate that you use to love skateboarding?" I said yes, I still do and and a matter of fact, I still love to do that with your niece. He laughed and said, "Every-time that I am watching TV and see one of those skateboard competitions, I always, always, always think of you and wonder how you are doing. I am getting old and my time is growing short. I know this. I just want you to hear from me that your father loved you very much and I deeply love you too. Remember that, despite the fact that we are family, we are also something that is even bigger than that." After that Uncle David hugged me and moved onward.

Gassho,

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO.com

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Thursday, July 19, 2007

Katsudo!

"If you want to realize your own Mind, you must first of all look into the source from which thoughts flow. Sleeping and working, standing and sitting, profoundly ask yourself, "What is my own Mind?" with an intense yearning to resolve this question. This is called ""training"" or "practice" or "desire for truth" or "thirst for realization." What is termed Zazen is no more than looking into one's own Mind."

Bassui Hogo Zenji Dai Osho
Trans. | Eido Shimano Roshi
Excerpt | Dharma Talk On One Mind

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Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Passing Away

This morning at 5:30 I received a call from family members, letting me know that my Ben (my brother-in-law) passed away last night. It's painful for me because I have always regarded Ben as a kind of Bodhisattva. He was amazingly kind, funny - always enjoying a good joke, loved to fish and was a very good father to not only his children but myself as well. In all the years that I had been around him and my sister, not once did I ever see him raise his voice in anger or even present anger for that matter. I think the only path which he ever knew was that of generosity, ceaselessly giving.

In these last 7-8 months he had been struggling with cancer. It hardly seems fair, but he faced this challenge with great courage and dignity. There are times when I really do hate impermanence.

Shujo Mu Hen Seigan Do
Bo No Mu Jin Seigan Dan
Ho Mon Mu Ryo Seigan Gaku
Butsu Do Mu Jo Seigan Jo

Gassho,

Denshin Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalzendo.com

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Sunday, July 8, 2007

In Sickness and Health

I and my oldest daughter ventured to the beach today, not to get out in the sun and lay on the beach but to see a movie. Crazy as it might seem we took time to go see "Sicko," by Michael Moore.

On the surface it's about our appalling health care system, there is a sub-story that is perhaps even more compelling, that I will discuss a little later. The movie starts with people it not really seeking to discuss. People without health care insurance. We see instances of people who have to figure out, "can I spend $60,000 to keep this finger or should I just spend $12,000 to keep the other one." In another brief instance we see examples of patients dumped out on the street; sick, disoriented and unable to pay. That inhumane behavior is almost too obvious and pathetic.

The heart of Sicko features people who like most of us who live under the illusion that we have access to the best health care system in the world, simply because we have "insurance." As it turns out that is not the case at all. As a matter of fact, we see innumerable instances where people have coverage but in not so dramatic fashion are denied services for any number of reasons and excuses. I won't deny that some of this is not justified, but strikingly clear examples where that person deserved the treatment but was refused for the sake of corporate gain and profits.

As Moore travels around the globe to countries similar to ourselves (e.g. Canada, Britain and France) we see universal health care systems that appear to work for their populations and far different than they are usually portrayed in our corporately controlled media environment. In one instance we see simple inhalers which cost $110.00 here in the USA and in Cuba (manufactured by the same company) they cost literally 5 cents. Yikes.

By the way, this is a good time to bring up that argument where politicians and people form the health care industry are always saying about universal health care. "You don't want the government telling you which doctor that you can see or which hospital that you can go to." Stop the tape right there. Your insurance company already does that. Ever heard of the term "out-of-network." I have Carefirst BC/BS. Though the doctor that I like very much is here close to my house in Delaware, I cannot use him, since he's not a Maryland doctor who is also a part of their network. I have to travel 30 minutes to see my Primary Care Physican (PCP), if something is wrong with me. My choice of doctor is absolutely controlled by a private company, not the government, so I wish that people would stop repeating that tired nonsense and wake up to the existing reality that we live under.

Whether it's in the streets of America or moving around the globe, each story is compelling. Some left me shaken, because I realized some of the issues presented could apply to my wife or children. This is especially true of the "preexisting condition" clause. Why? Because you can have a preexisting condition without actually being aware of it. Think about that for a second and what that implies. Staggering that you could be denied benefits for such a thing.

An despite the above, our friends in the UK, Canada and France never give such things a second thought. Shocking.

An this leads us to a larger and deeper message woven into Moore's storyline. It has to do with the question of "what do we serve?" There are moments that this film questions if we are actually "free." How's that? There's an interesting moment in the film, that honestly blew by me when it happened in real-time. (President) Bush was on stage with a woman, talking about working two jobs and getting ready to get a third one. Bush praises her saying, "isn't that great," implying that this was a good hard working American woman. In reality working three jobs leaves little time to feel human. It leaves little time to spend "quality time" with family, friends or the things which we care about. It's more important to feed the machine and become more distant and distracted from our true self. People are more than just widgets. When we live like widgets, we are not willing to "step-out-of-line," because doing so might jeopardizes what little that we do (think that we) have. And because of this fear we are actually "oppressed" without clearly recognizing that we are in a kind of trap or prison and actually involved in its maintenance. This became painfully clear when Moore was in The UK and France. I realized they enjoy greater levels of freedom than we enjoy here. And that I was not prepared for when I and my daughter where on our way to see Sicko.

I encourage you to go see Sicko. I'd be interested to know if you saw the same things. For myself, it has provided me a certain motivation to change some things in my life. But in order to make our lives better in the first place, we have to understand that we are genuinely sick, so that we can step out of our foggy delusion.

May You Live Well,

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO.com

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Friday, June 8, 2007

Hurt

I hurt myself today
to see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
the only thing that's real
the needle tears a hole
the old familiar sting
try to kill it all away
but I remember everything
what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end
and you could have it all
my empire of dirt

I will let you down
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of thorns
upon my liar's chair
full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
beneath the stains of time
the feelings disappear
you are someone else
I am still right here

what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end
and you could have it all
my empire of dirt

I will let you down
I will make you hurt

if I could start again
a million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way

- As Preformed by Johnny Cash

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Today's Challenge

The last two weeks has been a really tough time for me. I have faced some serious challenges. The entire time I have consistently looked at my motivations and interactions to make sure I did not walk away from the Buddhistic principles that I have used to anchor my life. I've been seeking to understand others who are involved in this process and though many of the things that have happened to me are not fair, refused to give into anger. I'm powerless over other people and whether they decide to act dishonestly or not. I'm not powerless over my reactions.

I keep thinking, "what is the big lesson in all of this?" Maybe it's not to give up on my personal sense of integrity. Maybe my response is the answer. And maybe the answer is "Give yourself to the Dharma and the Dharma will give itself to you." The dust is still settling and I'll see how all this turns out after today but I sure as heck refuse to allow others to chose my emotions for me.

Paradox, Humor and Change

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO.com

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Monday, May 28, 2007

Memorial Day

"How important it is for us to recognize and celebrate our heroes and she-roes!"
Maya Angelou

Though we may be terribly sad about the war and upset over how we got there in the first place, that decision was not made be any soldier. It was made by an uninformed president. Because of this I think that it is right and important that we remember our fallen. They are us and we are them.

MSNBC Tribute
CBSNEWS Tribute

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO.com

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Sunday, May 20, 2007

It's All Temporary

I recently listened to a teisho (place where the truth is) entitled "Daizui's It will be gone with the other," given by Genjo Marinello Osho. It's available for free on iTunes.

During his talk, Genjo Osho presented the temporal nature of things. Eido Shimano Roshi used to say "things come and go, all by their self." Recently... more than usual, that truth has been repeated. Today my neighbor who lives across the street came home in a wheel-chair from an accident. Earlier in the week I talked to my brother-in-law who found out that he has cancer. As I was talking to Ben about what he has been going through, he mentioned that my (deceased) fathers sister is in a hospital also suffering from cancer too and that she was only three hours from me. As we talked I realized that time has passed very quickly, since I was a child. Time really does move swiftly and many opportunities are genuinely lost, just like it says in the ancient gatha.

That this is all temporary, lets me know that it's important to make everything, and I do mean every thing count, moment after temporary moment. Time with my wife. Time with my daughters. Time with my mother. Time with my brothers. Time with my friends at work. Time with you. Time with the words of Genjo Osho. These are opportunities to be valued deeply, simply because they are like ripples on he water and can never happen exactly in the same way again.

I hope you take the time to check out the Choboji Podcast with Genjo Osho. Just look under the "Podcast" directory on iTunes. Check under Buddhism. You will find his and many other podcasts. If you cannot mentally and emotionally connect with his, perhaps you will be able to do it with another. Remember they are free.

With Love and Respect,

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO.com

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Sunday, May 6, 2007

The Premonition

How would you feel, if someone reasonably close to you informed you that they had been having repeated dreams about your dying? That's exactly what happened to me yesterday. My mother-in-law told me that she's been having these dreams recently on a regular basis and what is troubling to her is that now this premonition has been coming to her when she is awake. She was able to say that it pretty much happens the same way, each time and that it happens at my workplace.

The interesting thing about all of this is that recently I too have been having a vague feeling of something could happen to me. I didn't bother to discuss it with anyone, assuming that it was the normal stress of my job and reality that I deal with a section of the population that are in some instances gang members and prone to violence, not just suffering from alcoholism or drug addiction. At the same time I don't consider myself a superstitious person and so bypassed my own intuition/feelings, but one of my close friends began talking to me about premonitions, describing how he listened to "a voice" that cautioned him to be "careful" and avoid a situation wherein one of his friends had in-fact died where he might have met the same end, given the nature of the accident. Buddistically I am very aware sometimes in practice clairvoyance or premonition is a "by-product" of training. Often as one progresses in their practice and their mind changes frequency you can sort-of hear... see... things that the normally unfocused, distracted mind cannot.

I asked my mother-in-law why she was telling me about the dream and what she thought. She stated "by knowing, I believe negative things like this can be prevented." I suppose premonition is like a fork in the road and gives one an opportunity to give things more consideration that usual.

While I was sitting this morning what came to mind was, "Whether tomorrow or the next life, which comes first? We really don't know." Another expression that bubbled to the surface was, "The causes of death are many, yet the causes of life are very few." So what am I to do?

In all honesty I'm not sure what my actual response to all this will be. Debra and I have talked a little bit about it, mainly because the interaction with her mother was so direct and the thought so unnerving. I expect that I'm going to have to go at some point, I just don't think of it as being around the corner.

Namaste'

Jaye Morris, Curator
digitalZENDO.com

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Saturday, May 5, 2007

Are You Really Surprised?

Thursday or Friday a report was released from the military looking at "Battlefield Ethics" and the relationship to the stress that American soldiers have been under in Iraq. Given that their deployments have been extended multiple times and they are constantly exposed to violence and serious danger, what did they think would happen to our soldiers.

Another disturbing trend is the "Sexual Assault and PTSD Experienced by Military Women". This is yet another example of how our soldiers are being damaged by the war. If you want to read The New York Times article "The Woman's War" by Sara Corbett. You won't see this information talked about on MSNBC, CNN, ABC, CBS or other news shows. It gives an amazing aspect to the war which I had not considered.

It's easy for Bush and people in the Pentagon to say that deployments are going to be extended. The results are terribly sad. It is an unthinkable toll and a source of great suffering for many. This just lends one more reason to bring our soldiers home. We need to help them after this sad process and take part in their healing.

If you would like to read all the Mental Health Reports from the military, you can view them at the Army Medicine website.

// Jaye Morris, Curator
// digitalZENDO.com

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